Poll: what's the worst part of getting old?

"Sunrises and sunsets? No, I haven't seen one in years. But I did hear the Muzak version of 'Love in an Elevator' at the oncologist's yesterday."

For completeness' sake, and at the risk of needing thread to move to ILTMI --

Losing hair where you don't want to lose it -- check; male pattern baldness started in late teens
Growing hair where you don't want to grow it -- check; CURSE YOU EAR HAIR
Deteriorating hearing -- nope! The audiologist said my hearing was better than hers. So a few weeks later I went to hear Sunn O)))) play live and left out the earplugs. It was awesome! Live music with earplugs is like having sex wearing eight condoms at once (I guess).
Deteriorating vision -- deterioration is accelerating, and since I work in graphic design/prepress, it really worries me.
Graying hair -- yeah, but who cares. I do wish my beard would go ahead and go completely white.
Papery skin/loss of elasticity in skin/wrinkles -- check, but I've always been moderately homely so I don't care much about it.
Reduced energy levels -- definitely. I worry about low energy levels and think "following the fatal heart attack, an autopsy revealed 85% blockage in his heart blah blah blah"
Slower reflexes -- not really showing any signs of this, yay.
Longer times to recover from injury or exercise -- I cool down and return to my resting heart rate after doing yard work as fast or faster than I ever have, so yay.
Melanin deposits/age spots -- some; no biggie.
Moles -- as mentioned upthread, new moles on my face be pissin' me off.
Bowel/elimination problems (including hemorrhoids) -- never, hooray.
Eating/Digestion problems -- no problems to speak of. I try never to eat within 2-3 hours of bedtime, which helps.
Thickening/yellowing of nails -- nah.
Metabolism slowdown -- yeah, but that started 20 years ago, so it's hard to get wound up about it now. I plateau'ed at 220-225 lbs. and a 38 waist a few years ago, am keeping an eye on the situation.
Memory problems -- none to speak of
Reduced libido -- I wish
Dental problems -- none to speak of
Fear of falling/fear of injury/loss of physical courage -- nah, not really

i'm *eep* 26. i realized the other day that i've now been on ILX for almost 1/5 of my life.

I've been on for a quarter of it. Odd feeling, that, but I've been on the Net itself for almost half my life so hey.

yeah, been on the internet for more than half of mine. lol remembering debating merits of punk albums in aol forums in 1996.

I read Special Exits (recc'ed by forks!) and it is very bittersweet & powerful. It also gave me the frigging heebie-jeebies about my body & mind decaying. It's about the author's father & father's wife getting old & approaching death.

http://wilsonknut.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/special-exits-79-001.jpg

I think some of the problems they had was just not taking good medical care of themselves, though. Like the wife goes blind because she forgets to take her glaucoma eyedrops – could have easily been prevented.

I just ended a job at a call center helping people order prescription medications by mail (mostly very very old people) & it was amazing to me how many people were so lackadaisical about their medications. They would try to order a prescription that expired two years ago (most rxs are good for a year in the U.S.). So I think just staying on top of your medial care can make a big difference in avoiding a lot of the scary things that happened to her parents in this book!

OTOH the most truly depressing thing at this job was very lonely old people who had stayed around because of being fastidious about their health care. A couple of people in their mid-'90s who detailed how they outlived all their friends and family and have been alone for over a decade. "I guess these pills are keeping me alive, but what good is it doing?" I think that kind of isolation would be the worst thing about being old. I am pretty good at quietly entertaining myself – assuming hearing/motor skills are ok enough for me to still sit & knit with some music on – but would it still be fun if everyone I knew had been wrenched from my life years ago & all I had was the specter of death to keep me company?

I've been avoiding this thread, although, as the Oldest Known Ilxor, this should by rights be in my bailiwick. I've watched many people age and die, some from very close by. Their aging all shared broad similarities, but no two aged alike, and no two suffered the same mental or physical deficits, and each dealt with it as best they could.

Dementia may be the most dismaying to contemplate, but even there the emotional response to it varied among the victims, from eruptive anger to a sort of serene resignation. Surprisingly, I've known more who took it well than those who did not. Mostly it depended on their core personality before the onset.

So, I can't say there really is a particular aspect of aging that is worst, because it is so individual a process. All you can do is attempt to age with whatever grace you can muster. The other aspects are beyond your choosing.

i'm *eep* 26. i realized the other day that i've now been on ILX for almost 1/5 of my life.

woah - ok - i'm 33 and only just getting gloomy about the prospects of having kids. how come you're feeling this way at twenty-fucking-six?!

tbf people waiting to have kids til their 30s and 40s is a fairly recent (and predominately western) phenomenon

Dementia may be the most dismaying to contemplate, but even there the emotional response to it varied among the victims, from eruptive anger to a sort of serene resignation. Surprisingly, I've known more who took it well than those who did not. Mostly it depended on their core personality before the onset.

Most interesting, and noted.

I'm not afraid of death, but only that it'll be a long time coming.

The funny part is that I've always had a disproportionate fear of physical injury, but in the last year since actually breaking bones I keep feeling more adventurous as it wasn't all that horrible.

Yeah I dont understand being afraid of death. I understand it enough I guess. It seems like the worst situation is a black nothingness which sounds kind of appealing to me tbh. Now any pain before that actual moment of death ME NO WANT

Pain is a great teacher. The problem is that it never knows when to stop because you've learned the lesson.

thermo thinwall, remember that i'm a flaming homosexual, and the whole complication that adds to having kids.

ah. i'm terrible at remembering details/usernames/band/cheese-preferences of posters here.

I am reminded, of all things, of a Tom Petty lyric. "I don't mind working but/I'm scared to suffer."

thermo thinwall, remember that i'm a flaming homosexual, and the whole complication that adds to having kids.

you can probably buy a chinese baby if you're really desperate/rich

oh no... maybe my memory *is* finally going!

xposts lol

i have broken rather a lot of bones and my family doesnt get at all why i continue to do things that involve a risk of more of them. all i can think is that they're not so bad as to merit not doing fun shit.

mom (81) just recounted a visit in the past couple of weeks by some of my folks dearest and longest standing friends. the wife has advancing dementia. she spent most of the time with my mom saying "i remember _YOU_, there was a time xxxx." one of these was "i remember you were pregnant, and you have a little boy." me, obv. but her memory is episodic and features big lapses. once, she didn't recognize her husband. trying to be creative, he called my mom and gave the phone to his wife, who did recognize my mom's voice. "there's a strange man in my house-- and i can't get him to leave.!"

so, yeah, my mom said it was the worst weekend she's had.

In so many ways, it's tougher on the caregiver(s).

most definitely.

shakey, i will probably never be rich enough to buy/adopt/artificially inseminate a surrogate/etc. i think the only option is finding an awesome lady (a good friend, most likely) who would be down to do articificial insemination and then raise the baby in some weirdo queer joint custody sitch. i know two writers who did this, and their kid just graduated from high school, and he is awesome.

Myonga: many thanks. I pray you haven't got the earliest Nerve stuff, though.

guys fyi getting old is kinda awesome in my experience

Ah shut up and comb your ears.

for me the worst part is that my issues/problems are essentially the same at nearly 40 as they were in my early 20s. i have made no progress and in some ways have regressed, making much of my life seem wasted.

ear hair is pretty wtf tho

I haven't read the whole thread. Was anyone able to explain that ish? Baffling imo.

The Straight Dope weighed in back in 1997:

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/835/why-do-older-men-have-hair-growing-in-their-noses-and-ears

your nose and your ears are two of the few body parts that continue to grow and develop as you age

so, probably related would be my guess

I think that both my nose and ears are too small for my head so I am excited by this news which I think I already knew but had somehow forgotten. You may be onto something re the hair there too but idk.

i'm fucked, then.

No wonder my ear merkin business hasn't taken off.

lol

ahahaa.

"mearkin"

speaking of which, my friend legitimately thought that Helen Mirren's name was Helen Merkin, which had me in conniptions a few weeks ago.

Until like two years ago I totally thought that "conniptions" was "connipshits". I'd never seen it written down!

got one of these geezer shavers for my birthday a couple years back: "you need this"

http://blogs.smarter.com/blogs/nose%20n%20hair%20trimmer%20brookstone.jpg

I have some kickass one that has these weird attachments in case you want to trim your eyebrows (?)
it's true though, some old dudes have crazy eyebrows

(not that old yet)

http://images.amazon.com/images/G/01/hpc/detail-page/B000W405SG-3.jpg

oh, i got one of those nostrims too.

i knew a guy who, in his early 20's, used to keep a nosehair trimmer in his glovebox so he could take care of that while he was stuck in traffic. (he was an astonishing combination of weird and vain that you don't see every day)

lol at the marketing materials using young guys instead of, y'know:

http://www.waycooldogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/old-man.jpg

My grandmother is 95 and pretty senile - she lives in one giant present and barely remembers what she did the day before. She still knows who I am, though and is always happy to see me. I ask her how she's doing and she tells me she always has fun. I don't know if that's because she doesn't remember not having fun or to humor me or simply because she's having fun being w/me when she answers. If that's as bad as it gets, I could bear it. I do hope her body gives out before her mind does entirely, though.

Like having young women advertising slippers, etc..

There's nothing wrong w/a little manscaping, Thermo. I usually do it the same day I'm trimming my nails or some other only occasional bit of upkeep.

Meanwhile, it's those old guys used for finding college scholarships online, etc.

i do a little too. something about doing it in traffic with that thing tho, was a touch only he could put on it.

xpost

Yeah, I hear you. It sounds as neurotic as it is vain, though, like he was trying to maximize his productivity during those fallow moments of his life that circumstances were stealing from him. Hope he never got rear-ended...

Considering the chunks I've taken out of my legs in shaving attempts over the years, the thought of shoving miniature whirling electric razorblades up my nostrils and into my ear canals is just fucking terrifying, really