Poll: what's the worst part of getting old?

http://i52.tinypic.com/309hshj.jpg

if aging gracefully means turning into Maxine, then I don't think I'm really cut out for this aging thing.

think i mite go vampire or somethin when i turn 30 or make sum kinda infernal bargain idk ill find a way out

I'm going the cryogenically-frozen-severed-head route myself. You know, like Walt Disney, or Hitler.

Serious answer, though- definitely the missed opportunities/things not done part. I still can't walk by colleges without dying a little bit.

absolutely clean glasses is otm though: I can more or less deal with failing body parts or at least take the sting off physical decline by telling myself that I was never much of athlete or hottie to begin with). but when I start losing my memory and losing my very sense of self, that's when I'll start getting really depressed about it all. being able to live a rich Walter Mitty-ish inner life is one of the great luxuries afforded to us at even the worst of times, and when that's taken away, there's nothing left to look forward to, really.

"Memory problems" is the one that concerns me the most.

― I'm at the combination pizza butt and taco hell (absolutely clean glasses), Tuesday, May 10, 2011 12:54 PM (18 minutes ago)

otm

physical decline doesn't faze me all that much. I've never been a fine physical specimen, so run of the mill wear-and-tear (moles, wrinkles) isn't going to spoil anything worth holding on to. decreased mobility is somewhat more alarming, but even then I can just say fuck off to the real world and lead an exciting Snoopy Dog existence in my imagination. but when my memory starts to fail and I start losing my very sense of self, that's when I'll have nothing to look forward to or escape to, and life isn't really worth living at that point.

Lack of respect / people treating you like a child or fool / shitty pension after life of work.

I'd like to second absolutely clean glasses (multiple xposts) w/r/t memory (but really just cognitive functions in general). I've already kind of accepted the prospect of my body falling to pieces, and every new wrinkle and mole will just be a reminder of a physical fragility that I've almost always been able to shrug off. even chronic illnesses and reduced energy/endurance can be somewhat bearable when you have a sharp mind. sore? grumpy? bedridden? just start daydreaming that you're a World War I flying ace or a world-famous heart surgeon, and right away you feel a little better. but when dementia hits you and you're no longer able to retreat to a fantasy life or at least fall back on a lifetime of memories, that's when loses its luster completely. my mind is very sharp now and I'm hoping it'll hold out for at least another 50 years. I mean how will I contribute to ilx, for instance, if I just keep making the same post over and over without even realizing it? a scary thought, indeed!

I thought about asking if you meant to do that.

"Memory problems" is the one that concerns me the most.

^this

I'm just imagining the effect memory loss would have on something as trivial as my ilx posting. making the same posts over and over with slightly different wording each time until people start tactfully OTMing you but eventually killfiling you because you're stuck in a boring rambling loop and you have nothing to contribute to the conversation. what a terrifying thought! and of course the consequences will be 1000X worse in real life.

voted "Memory problems". I'll explain later.

Not to derail but I think the whole "women and their bodies" and the valuation of youth thing is at work in my ideas about aging, as much as I would love to reject that BS. I feel like my younger physical self was better than I am now, the bloom not yet off the rose, fewer scars, no stretch marks, that youthful flush...the kinda shit that shouldn't be important except that if a woman isn't nubile and indistinguishable from an especially sexy teenager, she's out of "the game."

I should be happy to be out of the game, I know. If I was ever IN it! Just have this fucked-up feeling that with each year, the outside self I have to offer is less and less desirable.

well I already have mild memory problems, as aficionados of my posts have unfailingly noted.

x-post - Laurel I honestly think every woman worries about that. When I do I just remind myself that some of the sexiest women in the world are those in their 40s. I mean it's totally BS but it's what we're fed to believe and it's one of the many reasons I think aging is harder on women than it is on men. Teenagers don't know shit about shit and in the end, that's not very sexy at all no matter how taut their asses might be. You're not out of the game girl. Not at all.

voted "memory problems" before even reading the rest of the thread. sometimes when i'm speaking i'm looking for a particular word and I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER IT. i'm so ashamed of myself (i'm good with words! i read a lot!). i think it's a medication side effect, but it's a small taste of what alzheimer's might be like.

i've always had memory problems so w/e

remembering things is dumb anyway!!!

I'm in my mid 20s and I was having breakfast recently with some older people (40-late 70s), who didn't really give off an olds vibe to me, and we were discussing Harry Nilsson. At one point, I was like "He actually died when he was pretty old" and one of them was like "Oh I thought he was pretty young when it happened." At that point I started sweating internally, and was like oh fuck I should just not talk about death around people who are aging I guess, because I knew whatever response I gave would sound pretty stupid.

he was in his early 50s I think

I have freakishly good memory for a lot of things. It'll really bothering me if/when I start losing that.

I later amended it to "pretty old for a guy who spent most of his life all fucked up" but I guess they had also spent most of their lives all fucked up so that didn't help

lol

Yeah, I think that's less "50 is old to me" and more "50 is (relatively) old for a hard-living rock star to die."

There's "memory problems" and then there's the horror of Alzheimer's or other medical dementia conditions, which we lost my grandfather to in 2003 and which we are watching my grandmother go through right now. Building a lifetime of memories and then watching them, one by one, disappear, along with your cognitive functions and your ability to retain a consistent sense of who you are, where you are, what time it is, who other people are, etc, is the ultimate proof to me that there either isn't a god or that it is so indifferent to human suffering that it doesn't matter.

My family takes shifts staying with my grandmother 24/7. My wife and I took a three hour shift last Saturday. When we picked her up, I buckled her in the passenger seat of the car while my wife folded her walker and put it in the trunk. The first thing grandma said? "I could've sworn I brought my walker with me today." That's not memory problems, it's horror.

:(

Was reading somwhere that what you might call uptake/ability to learn does decline in older people but other kinds of thought actually get more acute? And the value of contemplative time goes way up, as yr brain makes more connections with the info that's already THERE instead of acquiring new info quite so feverishly. Stuff like that.

xxxp oh lord Phil

I have A freakishly good memory for a lot of things. It'll really START bothering me if/when I start losing that.

― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, May 10, 2011 2:03 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

Apparently one of the things I don't have a freakishly good memory for is how to write in my native language.

Probable worst thing about getting old: Realizing all those things about old people I've laughed about are not funny at all.
Probably best thing about getting old: Finding new things funny.

Just have this fucked-up feeling that with each year, the outside self I have to offer is less and less desirable.

This is true for everyone though--it's just part of aging. Unless you date some Dorian Gray type, which could be problematic in its own way. Maybe the trick is to identity less with notions of "outside self" and "desirability"?

Also, how many times do I have to tell you that you are beautiful? *smack*

At that point I started sweating internally, and was like oh fuck I should just not talk about death around people who are aging I guess, because I knew whatever response I gave would sound pretty stupid.

Pretty sure I've told this story before, but at a family reunion a couple of years ago we were talking about my grandmother, and I said I really wouldn't want to live past 100. "Just give me 80 good years, let me lay down for a nap and not wake up." One of my aunts got kinda mad at that -- "I'm 80 years old, do you think I should go lay down and die today?"

i think longevity is overrated (although i hate it when my heroes die too young). we're living longer than our ancestors ever did -- the paleos, those exemplars of perfect health, still died by age 40 or w/e. old age and its attendant problems are putting a strain on society, including doctors, social services, affordable housing needs. not that the aging should all just put guns to their heads, not at all, i just wish health gurus would stop touting "longevity" as this thing that we should all aspire to unquestioningly.

one of the major societal elephants in the room right now is that the baby boomers (i.e. humongous population spike post wwII) are in their 60s now and it's the younger generations' responsibility to manage that.

not that the aging should all just put guns to their heads, not at all, i just wish health gurus would stop touting "longevity" as this thing that we should all aspire to unquestioningly.

otm. Edward G. Robinson's death in Soylent Green seemed like such a nice way to go.

Worst thing is probably losing the habit of enthusiasm or wonder. Look at the kids on the subway who are so excited to just be looking out the window, and are fully present.

Or age spots, those are pretty stupid too.

― Virginia Plain, Tuesday, May 10, 2011 11:43 AM Bookmark

This especially. Think about how intense childhood memories are because it's the first time that you experienced anything. I remember going to see movies at the old Breckenridge Theatre, and being dazzled just by the little lights going down into the dark on either side of the aisle. Now, I'd be all w/e, just lights leading the way to the fire exit.

I don't think there's much you can do to recapture any of that wonder. I recently saw a YouTube video taken from the International Space Station, and about halfway through it, realized, boy, I'd get really fucking bored of that shit after a week.

Those of you concerned about memory loss, what sort of memory do you have in mind? Like, where did I put my keys, or the loss of old cherished memories, or what? I guess I'm in denial because that's not really a concern of mine. I'm not much of a pictures/nostalgia guy though so that may be part of it.

I think the worst thing would be having a small moment of forgetfulness and thinking "is this the first step on the way to years of drooling screaming dementia?"

haha PP otm

i think i've been maxine since like fourth grade

My grandmother also, more often than not, thinks that my uncle -- her 69-year-old son -- is my late grandfather. As a result, she also can't understand why he lives in a different house with a different woman, and often refers to her as "that whore of your grandfather's."

lol maxine

My grandmother slightly lost her mind towards the end of her life, thinking Mexicans down the street were cutting her phone lines and electrocuting her cat through the floorboards. It really upset my dad to see it all slowly unfold.

But now, when he sends me screencaptures of "Lost" and asks in amazement if this really came from the Air France crash, I wonder to myself, when do I grab the reins away from this guy?

Hopefully, my kids will be out of grade school by the time they have to pull power of attorney on me.

I think the worst thing would be having a small moment of forgetfulness and thinking "is this the first step on the way to years of drooling screaming dementia?"

^^^this

my mom got rid of all her aluminum cookware because of ^^^that. That was 15-20 years ago. She is nowhere near drooling screaming dementia.

increased sense of perspective that leads to an understanding that everything valued throughout youth is merely a series of distractions from a short and insignificant existence

I do sort of like the increasing disinterest in owning physical objects.

No "Not being able to take care of oneself," no credibility.

The real worst part of getting old: Getting old alone.

― Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), dinsdag 10 mei 2011 17:44 (56 seconds ago) Bookmark

Among my many reasons for trying to save as much money as I can for retirement: In my dotage I hope to marry some old indie rocker who spent his prime earning years garnering more rave reviews than dollars, and regards my assets as outclassing other women's beauty and charm.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_XdhjVARVFqI/SpN1MDEpDNI/AAAAAAAAACI/DO2rg-Hjync/S240/harold-and-maude.jpg

I dunno I'm 31 next month and people still usually think I'm 19-23. Just not aging much! Out of all the stuff on that list I'd think hemorrhoids would be the most annoying so I voted that.

Hemorrhoids aren't so bad because, hey, at least it's not colorectal cancer.

I voted eyesight, as i'm hoping photography will keep me sane when i retire.

I'm not thinking about the rest of it yet.

I keep seeing this thread title and singing:

The worst part of getting old

Is dentures in your cup

I do sort of like the increasing disinterest in owning physical objects.

Hahahahaha as if. Grandma is OBSESSED with knowing where all her shit is at all times. Of late, she's convinced that someone is trying to steal her milk glass collection. She told my aunt that a girl broke into the house the other day to take some and she had to rip it out of her hands.