The dying days of the Fourth Reich: it's the 2007 AUSTRALIAN FEDERAL ELECTION

Another News Ltd gimp: "swan will you kill the economy by removing workchoices?"

Swan:
"costello is a lying poo" <-- worm flatlines
"we want fairness & balance, this is not inflationary" <-- worm bored

Costello:
"our IR laws are PERFECT" <-- worm dropped so hard it fell off the screen. THIS WILL BE NEWS
"cannot roll back changes, risk risk omg" <-- worm says no
"deregulated market, full employment, pressure on inflation" <-- worm slightly negative

Karen Middleton, SBS: "would you reconsider tax cuts?"

Swan:
"no but we are balanced" <-- worm bouncing up & down
"we have a health & hospital plan, education revolution etc" <-- worm gleeful

Costello:
"our tax plan is for da future" <-- worm grouchy
"labor voted to do bad shit in 1993" <-- worm flatlines, probably bored

Costello is getting positive worms omg

This is spectacular, especially out of context =)

Also:

Costello:
"our IR laws are PERFECT" <-- worm dropped so hard it fell off the screen. THIS WILL BE NEWS

Are you serious, did it really!?

Tim Colebatch, The Age: "foreign debt is a concern?"

Costello:
makes gag <-- worm unhappy
"commonwealth govt has no net debt, therefore no issue shut up" <-- worm unhappy
"o'seas borrowing is because of investment surge" <-- flatline
"we = teh saving" <-- slight positive

Swan:
"i am concerned with foreign debt" <-- worm very happy
"declining productivity growth"
"need to lift export performance inc. services, therefore reduce foreign debt"
"superannuation is good" <-- happy

(xpost - yep)

Sue Dunleavy, Daily Nazigraph: "as PM, what will separate you from howard (three differences please); if no differences, why change ffs"

Costello:
a joke about rudd, loads of smirking <-- bad worm
"TEEEEEEEEEAM" <-- bad worm
"tax reform, IR reform, super reform, docks reform" <-- evidently no worm reform
"we don't always agree" <-- cue odd couple music
"continuity of policy"
"rudd is all me-too" <-- flatline
(note the lack of three differences here)

Swan:
"costello would make workchoices worse" <-- worm is ON HELIUM

Phil Coorey, SMH: "fed govt has money, states don't, so give some back you fuck"

Swan:
"no"
"hospitals, blame game" <-- worm floating
"work WITH states ffs" <-- worm floating

Costello:
"all gst goes to states" <-- flat
"labor is bad for some reason" <-- flat
something I didn't understand <-- worm goes up
"labor state govts are shit" <-- worm dips
"labor = mismanagement" <-- WHAT THE FUCK

u have finally found perfect vocation: pro liveblogger

Karen Middleton, SBS

I believe i once shared a uni student office with her, she was a very smart woman.

As an aside to the John Laws rekkid further upthread, I once had in my possession a red coloured 7" of his with the tale of "The Bradford Fairy Godmother", which was a five minute advert for Bradford Insulation. There were a couple of poems on the other side. I gave it to a friend ages ago who probably didn't even have a record player. :(

BTW Almy, I speak for us all I am sure when I say you are entertaining us magnificently today.

Shane Wright, Westralian: "defend your tax cuts in the face of inflation pls, coz nz did same thing and the whole country sank into the ocean"

Costello:
"full employment > mass unemployment" <-- flat
"low unemployment is still a problem" <-- flat, also WHAT THE FUCK
"our tax plan = teh rox0r" <-- worm happy
"building capacity, take pressure out of system" <-- worm happy
"budget in surplus"

Swan:
"labor shortages" <-- worm has orgasm

xpost hurrah! I probably would lose mooentum if nobody were reading this

Someone from Dow Jones: "how to make rba board appointments transparent"

Swan:
nice things <-- worm happy
"open + transparent" <-- worm happy

Costello:
"labor = disingenuous" <-- worm happy

Some guy who wasn't introduced properly: "spend on health + education > tax cuts?"

Swan:
"people want both" <-- worm spunks again

oops

Costello:
"people want tax relief" <-- worm wants costello relief
"prices are going up" <-- worm agrees
"state govts = evil" <-- worm dips
"people want help" <-- worm happy

Clinton Porteous (yes that's his real name), Courier Mail: "liberal polling is shit, interest rates have risen despite your LIES, why should anyone trust costello ffs"

Swan:
"I have more experience now than costello did when he became treasurer" <-- worm v happy
"we don't take polls for granted" <-- worm happy

Costello:
"i am prepared for unforeseen events" <-- worm slightly negative
"fuck experience, it's all about policy" <-- flat
"can't turn our backs on IR policy" <-- flat
"i am made entirely of play-doh" <-- flat

The antics of the worm are quite seriously the single most exciting thing about this never-ending, Godless campaign.

Vote Worm [1]

someone from 7 network: "aistralians have never been better off my arse, also what about me-tooism"

Costello:
blathering about stuff <-- worm gone to sleep
"look after pensioners" <-- worm dreaming of eating chocolate in chocolate land

Swan:
"howard = teh liar" <-- worm goes to jupiter
"housing affordability crisis is REAL" <-- worm happy
"we are in touch with working families" <-- worm happy

Costello hasn't landed a single punch on Swan yet.

Michelle "HOT CHICK" Grattan, The Age: "costello must keep howard's promises or die"

Costello:
"yes ffs" <-- flat
"we deliver, we are DHL" <-- flat
"we invest in schools and shit" <-- worm wakes up
"stronger economy" <-- worm goes back to sleep

notably costello is fumbling at this point

Swan:
"libs broke promise about keeping interest rates at record lows" <-- worm ejaculates

Closing statement happy fun time

Costello:
"we are funky, we are tssssssssssssss hot, we eat sex for breakfast"
"we take action on climate change"
"we build schools, no really"
"small business = engine room of aus economy"
"economy = enabling mechanism"
"economy = better std of living"
"i am passionate" <-- ew
"ambitions omg"

worm moderately positive for most of this

Michelle "HOT CHICK" Grattan

Swan:
"stronger economy"
"end blame game"
"support those who can't afford to support themselves"
"don't re-elect stale govt which will do anything to get re-elected"
"increase skills etc"
"i won't blame someone else like HE does"
"working families"

worm fucking effusive nearly the whole time

worm results released on a current affair tonight. fuck that shit.

What happens to the worm now? does it take a holiday or is it killed and eaten?

Worm is put into battery in anticipation of the next debate between foreign ministers Alexander Downer and Robert McClelland.

Worm is put into battery in anticipation of the next debate between foreign ministers Alexander Downer and Robert McClelland.

DAT'S GOOD EATIN'

That's great that Swan did well. (even though he's a little bit of a knobhead)
Thanx for the sweet sweet liveblog action Almy!

It kept my mind off the physical pain for a couple of hours :)

Swan didn't flub once in the whole 90 minutes, and Costello didn't land a punch on him in the whole 90 minutes.

The explicit reason Costello wanted this debate was to show up who he perceived to be a weak shadow treasurer. It didn't work.

Thanks, dear Autumn - that was fab
Also, did anyone see Howard on 7:30 Report last night. He seemed particularly feeble. A shame it wasn't on commercial TV so all the knobs who vote for him could have seen him coming apart at the seams.

It's not big or clever, but I had fun doing it...

http://home.iprimus.com.au/jrsmorrison/Images/PoliticalWit.gif

Please feel free to email that on to like-minded Howard-hating persons, by the way.

Are you the trumpet player from Hey Hey It's Saturday?

No. Weirdly enough, you are not the first person to ask.

Howard on last night's 7.30 Report was pointless. He started with "let's talk about the future" and went on about the past for THE WHOLE INTERVIEW. Kerry even tried to pull him back by saying "you're talking about the past again". Made no difference.

JM that gif amused me greatly. But as moley will tell you, i have an odd sense of dad-humour.

Adam, yer cracking me the hell up here. Good to have you back on deck.

I must tell Nick off for blanking you the other day btw ;P

You're so kind. Don't worry about Nick, I only really met him twonce.

xxxxxxxxxxxxpost That gif is fantastic.

Wow, Rudd was a bit crap on 7.30 Report tonight.

I just realised there isn't a single Liberal Party poster anywhere in my suburb. I love living in a suburb full of university-educated trendy lefties and lesbians.

dear adam: I love your worms

dear everyone: thank you for this thread while I am not around to see the carnage myself

Hell I am around and I'm not paying attention.

Trayce, the typical Australian voter haw haw haw.

When Turnbull falls out of line, Howard puts him in a box. When Costello falls out of line, Howard capitulates to divert attention. Yet despite the mess that today was, Abbott is still doing media, still putting his foot in his mouth (view tonight's Lateline for more) and looking worse by the minute. I suspect Howard's routine punishment for Abbott is to pull his ears every time he does something stupid.

My older brother went to the same school as Abbot (a few years after though, he didn't know Abbot). Run by a cabal of ultra rightwing strap-wielding sadistic Jesuit priests. The sort of Catholic schoold where boys were made to kneel down and pray for victory before rugby matches. According to my brother, either you rebel, or...

...take it up the arse?

That too, probably.

Seriously, of the people in my brother's year, half of them turned out like Abbott, and the other half are former drug addicts or dead. (I'm exaggerating, but it's a bit like that.)

Tony Abbot = LOLERS

Just saw this comment in response to George Megalogenis's column in (shudder) The Australian:

It simply isn’t possible that the Coalition has no influence or control of inflation and the ALP does. Either both parties have some control of inflation, in which case Howard has to take some responsibility for tomorrow’s likely 6th rate rise in 3 years - or neither party is responsible for inflation, in which case the ALP poses no risk to interest rates. Howard can’t have it both ways.

Most sensible thing I've heard in weeks, and eminently digestible. Rudd could use exactly this paragraph to gain enormous purchase.

His backflip yesterday was staggering. Suddenly worsening inflation is beyond his control. Um, sorry?? So downward pressure is all your doing but upward pressure is out of your hands? Yet upward pressure under the ALP represents bad management? Idiot.