in every old movie ever

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Ice skating or synchronized swimming interlude.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 16 December 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

Harry: Johnny! Good to see you!
Johnny O'Connor: Hello, Harry, how's tricks?

Harry: not bad for an old dog! [ both men laugh ] Have a seat. [ Johnny sits ] How's the film going?

Johnny O'Connor: Well, I just shot the last scene. [ re-enacts that last scene for Harry ] There I was in the cockpit, surrounded by zeroes, enemy aircraft carrier in my sight! My machine guns were empty! I had one bullet left! [ screams ] Aaaagggghhhhhhh!!!!

Harry: [ jumps up ] Alright, snap out of it!

Johnny O'Connor: You snap out of it!

Harry: You snap out of it! [ slaps Jonnhy's face ]

Johnny O'Connor: Sorry, Harry. I think I got a little lost in this role.

Harry: Yeah, I guess you did.

Johnny O'Connor: Anyway, I'm sure "Yankee Kamikazee" is going to be a real winner.

Harry: Well, I hope you're right..

Johnny O'Connor: [ reflecting ] Maybe I've made too many of these war movies. Maybe I should take a rest, huh, Harry?

Harry: Well, I'm glad you brought that up, Johnny.. I was thinking you should take a rest, too. A permanent one.

Johnny O'Connor: [ confused ] What do you mean?

Harry: I'm letting you go.

Johnny O'Connor: You mean..?

Harry: Yes. Your contract isn't being renewed.

Johnny O'Connor: But, Harry, I..

Harry: You're finished, Johnny!

Johnny O'Connor: Don't mince words!

Harry: I think you stink!

Johnny O'Connor: Listen, Harry, if you're unhappy with my work, tell me now!

Harry: You're through, do you hear me, through! You'll never work in this town again!

Johnny O'Connor:Don't leave me hanging by a thread! Let me know how I stand!

Harry: I think you're the worst actor I've ever seen, and I get five hundred letters a day telling me the same!

Johnny O'Connor: What's the word on the street?

Harry: [ angry ] Now, you listen to me, Johnny O'Connor: you've been flying in that airplane too long, and it's time you were grounded!

Johnny O'Connor: Nobody shoots down Johnny O'Connor.. You're forgetting something, Harry! I'm a hero! I've made twelve war movies for you, Harry, and they've all made gold! I've knocked more Mitsubishis out of the sky than any man alive!

Harry: Look, Johnny.. Johnny, you're forgetting something: the Japanese are our allies now. The war is over, Johnny. So are you.

Johnny O'Connor: [ persistent ] Is it the booze, Harry? The dames? I'll cut back!

Harry: No, no, Johnny..

Johnny O'Connor: Is it the pills?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: The sheep?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: The ducks?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: Your wife?

Harry: No, not.. what?!

Johnny O'Connor: What?!

Harry: What?! Oh! Get off!

Johnny O'Connor: [ near tears ] I'm sorry if I let you down, Harry. You've always been like a father to me..

Harry: [ reconsidering ] Oh, Johnny.. Johnny.. Alright. I'm going to give you one more chance..

Johnny O'Connor: [ excited ] Do you mean it, Harry?

Harry: Yes, I'm afraid I do.. Now, listen - I'm doing a new picture: "Reptilla". A lizard gets mutated by an atomic blast, see? It swells up, twenty stories high! And there's a fire-breathing tango all over Tokyo!

Johnny O'Connor: [ thinking ] Yeah.. yeah.. I think I can play a giant reptile..

Harry: Don't be ridiculous! Reptilla will be played by a man in a rubber suit.

Johnny O'Connor: Oh.. I don't want my face covered.

Harry: Of course not. Now, the part I have in mind for you is this one.. [ flips through script ] You're Man #3.

Johnny O'Connor: Man #3.

Harry: You're on an elevated train. You slip off, and get squished by Reptilla's toe. Here, read this line.

Johnny O'Connor: [ looks at the line and recites it dramatically ] Aaaagggghhhhhh!!

Harry: Good! You can start packing, we sail a week from Tuesday.

Johnny O'Connor: Thanks, Harry, you won't regret it! [ walks away from Harry ]

Harry: Hey, don't forget your script!

Johnny O'Connor: [ returns, grabs script ] Yes! Science fiction! The wave of the future!

― gear (gear), Friday, 16 December 2005 04:05 (twenty years ago)

"Now why would you go and do a thing like that?"

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:34 (twenty years ago)

high speed chase, one car cuts off fruit truck, fruit truck runs up sidewalk narrowly missing milk truck, fruit truck overturns, fruit goes everywhere

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:47 (twenty years ago)

"I didn't have the heart ..."

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:52 (twenty years ago)

30's: Antagonist drinking whiskey while getting bullet removed from arm.
40's: "Shouldn't you be fighting for our country, Mr. Spaid? Oh, yeah, that's right. FLAT FEET."
50's: "Telephone call for Miss Milo!" "Why thank you." [hands over casino chip as tip.]AMERICAN
60's: "And coming back around the track, lapping his opponents for the second time, IS THE GHOST OF THE GROOVY _BAM!_ "VOICE OF THE PEOPLE" AMERICAN DREAM!!!!"
70's: "Aw, fucking niggers taking over everything now, just about as bad as the wops."
80's: "Tell Thad and Todd that Bikini Mini-Golf ain't closing anytime, I don't care who's got the deed."
90's: Antagonist drinking whiskey while getting bullet removed from arm. {Anything by Firefall on the soundtrack.)
00's: "I love looking at the skyline of New York, even though there's this huge uncomfortable feeling I have about it that I'm not going to mention here."

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 07:44 (twenty years ago)

00s: a woman smiles and winks at the camera.
10s: seven characters stand very close together like they're sharing an elevator, making occasional movements that suggest they are underwater. an intertitle reminds us that we are watching the climax of an exciting action movie.
20s: our fearless hero, with a curiously starched-looking face, is chased around the block by an angry cop (pausing to look back to see if he's still there, then flailing his arms madly and running off again) and falls into an open manhole. he gazes sadly at the camera and snaps his fingers.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

Now look here, see.

― Der, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

Tapping the phone bar and shouting "Hello! Hello! Operator! Operator!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

"Daddy, why did Mommy die?"
"Well, you see Timmy, sometimes when God likes someone an awful awful lot..."

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

"Daddy, is Mommy in heaven now?"
"Yes, Timmy, she's there, looking down on you and smiling and waiting for the time when she can see us all again"
"Oh Daddy Daddy, when can we visit Mommy in heaven?"
"Oh Timmy" *breaks down*

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 11:01 (twenty years ago)

"Daddy, is Mommy awful sick?"
"Yes Timmy, she is, so we have to be really strong for her"
"Daddy... will Mommy die?"
"Oh Timmy" *breaks down*

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

Cheerfully orchestrated montage with town gossips talking on the phone, presumably to each other.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

"Well, I declare!"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

A row of phone cubicals with a journalist of a different nationality in each one.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

"Mesdames et messieurs, les jeux sont faits!"

― Redd Harvest (Ken L), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

I just watched Sea Wolf, and the dame in it kept saying "Listen a minute, will ya?"

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

"Hit it, boys!"

― Redd Harvest (Ken L), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

Great movie, btw!

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

"Can't a girl get a word in edgewise around here?"

― Redd Harvest (Ken L), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

"Mesdames et messieurs, ladies and gentleman, damen und herren, damas y caballeros, ce soir je vous présente un homme extraordinaire..."

― Redd Harvest (Ken L), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

Wide-eyed man on balcony/ship-mast/roof of building rants against society, jumps.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, 28 December 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

"Against them big cattle ranchers, us small homesteaders don't stand a chance."

― Redd Harvest (Ken L), Thursday, 9 February 2006 04:47 (twenty years ago)

"That (name)y (name) is really something else!"

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 9 February 2006 06:37 (twenty years ago)

"Wha yessuh Mistuh Jensen, Ah did see a man fit dat d'scrip'n -- came roun' heah askin' bout a briefcase"

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 9 February 2006 06:45 (twenty years ago)

"i just have to get a patent for this flibbertijibbet and then i'll be known throughout the land!"

― having fun with stockholm cindy on stage (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 9 February 2006 06:49 (twenty years ago)

God forbid it should fall into the wrong hands, Jody.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 9 February 2006 06:57 (twenty years ago)

"i'm a woman of virtue, not some loose two-bit floozy!"

― having fun with stockholm cindy on stage (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 9 February 2006 07:02 (twenty years ago)

"it's like the girls at smith used to say..."

― having fun with stockholm cindy on stage (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 9 February 2006 07:05 (twenty years ago)

"it's like the boys in new haven used to say..."

― having fun with stockholm cindy on stage (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 9 February 2006 07:06 (twenty years ago)

Ha, for some reason that reminded me of the Dorothy Parker line: "If all the girls at Vassar were layed end to end, I wouldn't be surprised."

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 9 February 2006 07:26 (twenty years ago)

haha i've heard that one before...

― having fun with stockholm cindy on stage (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 9 February 2006 07:27 (twenty years ago)

"I tried to warn them - but they just wouldn't listen, the fools"

― Snowy Mann (rdmanston), Thursday, 9 February 2006 18:06 (twenty years ago)

"But children, don't you see? True happiness can only come from the love of a mother and father."

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 9 February 2006 18:23 (twenty years ago)

"Oh boy, a whole nickel! I'm gonna get me a big bag of gumdrops!"

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 9 February 2006 18:24 (twenty years ago)

"electronic... brain? you've GOT to be kidding."

― having fun with stockholm cindy on stage (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 9 February 2006 18:28 (twenty years ago)

"What is the meaning of this?"

― Pangolino 2, Friday, 10 February 2006 04:00 (twenty years ago)

"all right, all right, break it up!"

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 10 February 2006 04:56 (twenty years ago)

"There. You're the sheriff now."

― weather1ngda1eson (Brian), Friday, 10 February 2006 10:23 (twenty years ago)

"Thank you kindly, ma'am, but I guess I just ain't the settlin' kind"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 February 2006 10:52 (twenty years ago)

"Awwwwwwwww, I never did go in much fer kissin' an' stuff, ma'am... shoot!"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 10 February 2006 11:09 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

Authoritarian penny-pinching old spinster aunt/stepmother/harpy stands at top of spiraling staircase (candelabra and thunderstorm optional), gets into argument/shouting match, and ends up lying in a chalkmark on checkerboard floor far below.

― The Day The World Turned Dayglo Redd (Ken L), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 11:54 (twenty years ago)

Or:

"Why you ungrateful little wretch! I brought you into this house to bring you up properly. You never wanted for anything and all you do is behave like that father of yours. As for this little creature, he doesn't belong in here"

"No, you won't hit my pet rabbit, Fluffy!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

― The Day The World Turned Dayglo Redd (Ken L), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 11:57 (twenty years ago)

"Darling, I can't wait for this terrible war to be over so I can hold you in my arms once again."

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 13:10 (twenty years ago)

"Oh, it's WONderful, I mean it's just WONderful! Don't you just LOVE it? Couldn't you just DIE?"
"Glad you like it, toots."

― Dave AKA Dave (dave225.3), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 13:16 (twenty years ago)

"Gee, that Mary really is a swell kid. Maybe I should ask her out for a soda."

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 13:30 (twenty years ago)

"Siddown! You too, sister!"

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 13:55 (twenty years ago)

"Who's the skirt?"

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 13:56 (twenty years ago)

"Whoahhhhhh Doc, slow down...speak English will ya?"

― latebloomer: band to the planet mars (latebloomer), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 14:04 (twenty years ago)

"It's ok boss, this guy ain't packin'."

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 14:22 (twenty years ago)

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