Best snippet of overheard conversation

trayce i really want to know the story behind your story.

Me too! It bugged me all the rest of the day. Who was that strange top hat and tails man? What WAS he waiting for? Why have the jewish families in my street taken it upon themselves to play vigilante all of a sudden (ok maybe this one is something they're careful about anyway).

A mystery indeed.

"THE GANG BANG WAS GREAT!"

Then they piled into a beat up Crown Victoria and sped away.

A couple weeks ago some girl was talking on the phone and suddenly asked whoever was on the line, "So, have you ever asked your mom if she's had anal sex?"

For all you New Order fans out there:
New Order fan (at Reading '98) to unconverted friend: "New Order? They're like...GODS!"

-- DG (rgreenfiel...), September 4th, 2001.

DG, the originator of I Love Everything, might well be interested to know that Hiro, a not-actually-as-swank-as-it-seems club situated inside the Maritime Hotel, which itself is on the Chelsea-side outskirts of the suddenly ultra-riche meatpacking district in New York City, was host last Thursday to a NEW ORDER DJ SET (i.e. Peter Hook playing records). ILX regular Dan Selzer was on just after him, my ex-roommate was working behind the bar, and maura and her lovely boyfriend joe were my companions - so it was a very fun night indeed - until afterwards, which i may get into on some other thread where the subject is more explicitly about the police.

in any case, very early in the evening, when it was still possible to overhear things, these two fake-tanned Club Bitches approach the bar and as they pass me i hear, in the most clichéd "lieeeke, ohmiGOD" voices i could have possibly imagined: "I got in SO much trouble for NOT licking her pussy!"

er...

in my living room, roomie's sister talking to other roomie:

SIS: "well, our pastor hates the word 'modern', so our sunday evening service is more like, i guess, a post-modern service."

SOMEONE ELSE: "(inaudible)"

SIS: "yeah, the problem is, he's good at guitar but he doesn't have any rhythm and our usual drummer lives like an hour and a half from las vegas."

Girl1: "I can't believe she didn't know Paul O'Grady was gay!"
Girl2: "Some people are just like that though.... My nan's a real homosexual."
Girl1: "Homophobic. Homosexual means you is gay innit."

"The only thing with Klingon is, there's no verb 'to be'..."

the person he was talking to looked slightly dumbfounded "a kitten?" - as I did until I realized what he was trying to say.

"Raja, I think you mean 'pussy'."

"Yes, yes, a pussy, you are being a pussy!"

I walked away.

Idiot!

?? This makes perfect sense. It means "I know you haven't been here for a long time, and you might think that I would have been here since, but actually I haven't". Like if a friend from out of town turns up and says "let's go to that bar we went to last time", then when you get there you might say this.

Tuomas, it's 2005 and you live in Finland for god's sake - mobile phones have been able to play mp3s for years!!

Dude 2: Hey, did you know milk cures PMS?
Dude 1: Yeah?
Dude 2: Yeah. (pause) I bought my wife a cow. (Chuckles to himself).

FIN

"This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. I told you not to process that check until the 18th, and you did it anyway. I specifically said....."

(pause, pacing briefly)

"No, bullshit. Listen to what I'm saying, Mom."

"Man, you got me...the ovaries?"

It went something like this, “ I couldn’t believe it he came in shouting, banging doors and then went into the bathroom and puked up loudly in the sink, dirty bastard. He didn’t even use the toilet. Then he starts talking to himself like a fucking mental case and groaning til about 4 this morning.” when I’d finished my rant, I walked past his door and noticed that he hadn’t left like I thought, he was in his room awake and well within hearing range. Doh!

J: "Yeah! But we have to be careful that it doesn't become raver energy, or too-happy energy, or the gym energy..."

D: "Of course...."

J: "It has to be Andrew W.K. slash E.L.O. energy, we have to style it out, or else..."

"If you fuck it, they will come"

Naked man #1 : So, how are you coming along with the smoking?
Naked man #2 : Well, I don't smoke.
Naked man #1 : Still keeping it up, then!
Naked man #2 : No, actually I've never smoked.
Naked man #1 : Good for you. GOOD FOR YOU.

She: This is rather nice.
He: ...
You could do that, couldn't you Michael?
He: mmm