NRO's The Corner: Rolling Bile, Spit, and Gnash Thread

. . . bet the farm that Charlie Daniels, who once published an open letter in defense of the invasion of Iraq, will never make the cut . . .

Maybe because he's uh not a rock and roll artist maybe?

m coleman otm, the 2nd page of that NRO rock & roll hall of fame piece is lol

Googled this guy. You know this novel is going to be something special:

Goldblatt’s first novel, Africa Speaks, was published by Permanent Press in 2002. It a satire of black urban culture told in the voice of a young black man named Africa Ali. In her blurb for Africa Speaks, Michelle Malkin stated, "With an uncanny knack for the hip-hop idiom, stiletto-sharp satire, unusual sensitivity, and unparalleled courage in tackling racial taboos, Mark Goldblatt has created a masterpiece.

"Unusual sensitivity"

good god

oh wow

he manages to be kind of otm

xp oh dear jesus i didn't know about that

1.0 out of 5 stars Remarkable ear for idiom?, October 29, 2002
By "paxpacka" (New York, NY United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Africa Speaks (Hardcover)
Goldblatt's book is certainly ambitious, but in the end, its satirical nature fails to fully materialize. Unfortunately, AFRICA SPEAKS rehashes the same things that cultural critics have been saying for years, putting forth very few new ideas. However, Goldblatt's characters are perfect in consistency and crafted with care. Still, anyone who feels that AFRICA SPEAKS displays a "remarkable ear for idiom" has lived a very insular life.

With an uncanny knack for hip-hop stereotypes, limp satire, and unparalleled pathology, Mark Goldblatt has created a masterpiece.

oh fuckin wow, the 5-star amazon reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars How long to the next stop?, May 31, 2005
By G. G. Farrell (Watertown, MA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
This review is from: Africa Speaks (Hardcover)
The highest compliment I can pay this book is to reveal that I stopped reading it for a few weeks. Why? Because Mark Goldblatt's uncanny ear for the speech patterns of the fictional (yet vividly and insufferably real) Africa Ali sent me searching -- so to speak -- for a quieter subway car. That's not to say that Africa and the sad segment of society he represents is irredeemable. It's merely to state that people like me -- successful white males with the ability to understand and perhaps even change society -- don't want to do the redeeming: Africa and his friends can either shut up and do their thing somewhere else or I can just move to the next subway car. In that sense, Mark Goldblatt gets us to see that we are all part of both a problem and a great societal failure: Africa and I may be drinking from the same water fountain nowadays, but that's where it ends.

the first chapter is quite something:

I waxed a chink once—I mean, you got to do one. Now, let me explain what it's like. Waxing a chink is like wearing butter underwear. Ain't nothing on God's green earth smoother than chink pussy. I think that's what heaven must be like, you know, smooth and snug. The best thing is, you don't even have to work the bitch. After she's twatted so many pencil dicks, it's like suddenly she's got hold of a damn black nightstick. So here's how you fuck a chink, You just lie on your back and let her do the fucking. Maybe you can catch a little tube, or maybe call out for pizza; it don't matter to her 'cause she's got a man inside her. You know what I'm saying? I spell M-A-N!

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/product.aspx?userid=54WCDTD44Z&ean=9781579620370&displayonly=CHP#CHP

boy "uncanny" is a motif

and you know what? That's exactly what fucking a chink is like.

what the shit

I would unretire the "Captain Butter Underpants" display name but... no

Maybe you can catch a little tube, or maybe call out for pizza; it don't matter to her 'cause she's got a man inside her.
Maybe you can catch a little tube, or maybe call out for pizza; it don't matter to her 'cause she's got a man inside her.
Maybe you can catch a little tube, or maybe call out for pizza; it don't matter to her 'cause she's got a man inside her.
Maybe you can catch a little tube, or maybe call out for pizza; it don't matter to her 'cause she's got a man inside her.
Maybe you can catch a little tube, or maybe call out for pizza; it don't matter to her 'cause she's got a man inside her.

yeah this guy is like the worst person ever

"If you dive head first into the cesspool of black urban culture, through the flotsam and jetsam of bling-bling jewelry, designer sneakers, and 'Free Mumia' T-shirts--through the Ebonic endearments of 'nigga' and 'ho' and 'dawg'--and if you struggle down past the snarling, muttering studio-menace of gangsta rappers and the haunch-spreading, butt-bouncing images of 'empowered' womanhood--and then if you plunge deeper, past conspiracy theories about the LAPD and O.J., about CIA agents and crack, and about Jewish scientists and AIDS--and if you descend deeper still, past the toxic notion of black authenticity as the absence of white virtue, you arrive at last at the thickest, rankest muck at the very bottom, the foulest exemplar of what's killing African Americans literally and symbolically--which is roughly where you encounter HBO's Def Poetry."

thread should maybe be tagged with a "we did it, this is now the thread that will piss you off for the rest of the day" warning

Mark Goldblatt is a real winner.

Is HBO's Def Poetry really that bad?

Goldblatt currently resides in midtown Manhattan, where he keeps a low profile and varies his route to work often.

don't know where i thought that paragraph was going but "hbo's def poetry" was not it

Yeah I wasn't really expecting that.

Later tonight I'm gonna squirt lube on my pizza.

http://www.greenpointpress.org/gb_book_sloth.html

his latest novel looks like some kind of satire of eco/calvino/borges type shit

john podhoretz liked it!

lolling at all the racists in MA coming out in support of this book

xp: oh my god, I'd better tell my brother that he is the nadir of black culture

our cube walls at work are super low so I can't full-on belly laugh like I want to, but suffice to say NO, HBO's Def Poetry is nothing like what this dude is describing

Does Holly actually exist, or is she a figment of the narrator's imagination? Does Zezel actually exist, or is he an alter-ego who takes over the narrator?s journal? Does the narrator have a name, or is he just an excuse to ask questions? (And who's writing this cover copy, come to think of it?) Nothing of the sort concerns Detective Lacuna.

detective lacuna

"If institutional racism is defined as a concerted effort to deprive African Americans of basic human and civil rights, it does not exist. Let me repeat that: Institutional racism does not exist. Let me italicize it: Institutional racism does not exist. Let me set it apart, a paragraph unto itself . . . Institutional racism does not exist."

welp

detective lacuna

― difficult listening hour, Monday, March 14, 2011 1:12 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

i know, right? i can just see this guy getting into a big argument in grad school with a very bright young woman who can't stand him, and it winds around to him screaming at her "FUCKING COSMICOMIX. I WIPE MY FUCKING ASS WITH COSMICOMIX. DO YOU HEAR ME."

he used "unto" in a sentence?

my father was threatening to write a satirical novel exposing the politics of state university English department after he retired (from, you guessed it, a state university English department)

ty NRO dude for living out my father's dream & for sparing me the embarrassment of him realizing it

ugh why

From John Podhoretz, editor of Commentary:
"Mark Goldblatt is one of America's most uncompromising literary iconoclasts."

basically all i need to hear

Theology

In a pair of essays for the British journal Philosophy Now, Goldblatt addressed the subject of rational language and the existence of God.
In "Did the World Have a Beginning?"[17] he argues that the temporal world cannot always have existed. An actual infinity is impossible, he reasons, because infinity is a potential value that cannot be reached. A line, for example, may be extended infinitely--that is, without a limit--but at no point will the actual measure of the line become infinite. Likewise, time itself, whether measured by minutes or millennia, cannot comprise an actual infinity. Therefore, the temporal world cannot have existed forever.
In a follow up article, "Talking About God", [18] Goldblatt teases out the ramifications of his conclusion about the impossibility of an actual infinity with respect to the concept of an infinite God. Since we know that the temporal world cannot have existed forever, it therefore must have come into existence "in the beginning". It cannot have come into existence without an efficient cause (since that would violate the law of causality, one of the basic laws of thought). That First Cause, Goldblatt states, following the Cosmological Argument of Thomas Aquinas, is what all men call God. But this realization leads to a paradox. On the one hand, it would seem God cannot be infinite either since an actual infinity is impossible. On the other hand, God cannot have come into existence since that would require a cause prior to the First Cause and lead to an infinite regress of causes . . . which, in turn, would comprise an actual infinity (which cannot be). Therefore, we must suppose an infinite God as the First Cause of the world--even though an actual infinity violates the laws of thought. But whatever violates the laws of thought cannot be subject to rational language; it cannot be said to exist any more than a sentient stone (i.e. a sentient non-sentient being) can be said to exist. (At the moment a stone becomes sentient, in other words, it ceases to be a stone.) Goldblatt concludes that two theological statements, which seem irreconcilable, are nevertheless necessarily true: 1) God created the world; 2) God does not exist.

he probably should have put detective lacuna on the case

Though often classified as a conservative or even a neocon, Goldblatt has on occasion veered from right of center positions. He has been a steadfast supporter of the war against totalitarian Islam [1][2][3][4][5] and a fierce critic of hip hop culture, [6][7][8] postmodernism[9] and multiculturalism, [10] but he has also argued in favor of legalizing of gay marriage [11] and upholding the Roe v. Wade decision[12] and has written sympathetically about Barack Obama. [13][14]

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/63822_680119138826_19506071_37476419_5237191_n.jpg

that cover is onion sunday supplement worthy

there is nobody who knows the hip-hop idiom as well as michelle malkin

Baudrillard's problem with reality!

From John Podhoretz, editor of Commentary:
"Mark Goldblatt is one of America's most uncompromising literary iconoclasts."

basically all i need to hear

someday I'm going to personally reward you for the many, many lols you have given me, and this will be one of them

http://www.philosophynow.org/images/covers/large/issue83.jpg

i like how 'now' is italicized

not always so, apparently.

funny thing about that for me is that in high school a friend and i made this movie (or rather started; never finished) where we played insufferable "hot young turks of philosophy" who'd co-written a book called philosophy... WOW and were discussing it on talk shows. then dostoevsky and camus (also played by us) came forward in time and got involved in a complicated love-quadrilateral kind of thing w/ the modern philosophers and a couple of girls, which is where the overlap here ends.

which one of you would play Mark Steyn now?

neither, but i had a couple stock players who might have been appropriate.

http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/262100/people-want-know-john-derbyshire

John Derbyshire commits politically incorrect crimethink, misinterpretation of Google results

"What’s the point even"

There are many points! If you proceed from the assumption that different groups have real, meaningful differences in IQ and behavior, that might well influence immigration policy.

"does America and do Americans, even red, white and blue conservative Americans, really want to be more like Japan, including aspects of Japanese culture that may run contrary to American values? How does America even go about becoming like Japan given that it’s full of Americans?"

I have no problem being more like Japan. But we're not doing that, because we're not bringing Japanese to America. I have big problems being like Africa and the Middle East. How does America go about being like Africa and the Middle East? By bringing lots of them here, which is exactly what we're doing.

The New Orleans/Japan analogy pivots upon race, but culture, and the ideology of culture plays a role as well. Hence, I believe that if Katrina had hit New Orleans in 1955 rather than in 2005 the aftermath would have been more like what we've seen in Japan. The reason for this is that prior to the cultural collapse of the late 60s, a Judeo-Christian/Greco-Roman/Anglo-Germanic culture was normative in America, even among blacks. This cultural umbrella served to checkmate the destructive tendencies inherent in sub-Saharan African culture.

what a bunch of fucking assholes