Chicago: Become Familiar with its Distinctive Neighborhoods

jesse, that sounds totally messed up! are your bosses doing anything to shield you from their insanity?

Not really since I'm directly in the line of fire, answering phones and at the front desk.

but can't they just say "the carpet expert said it wasn't damaged, get over yourselves and let our wonderful assistant get back to work!"?

That is lame! I feel for you, Jesse!

Also, I blogged about my own troubles.
Also, I ended up eating TWO Clementines. That's the kind of badass I am today.

They've still got to clean it, which we're liable for. Plus they're insisting that the ceilings be cleaned as well (they're made of hardwood!) It's running about $1500.

that is batshit insane

sarah, you are punk rock.

jesse, as long as you're paying to get it all cleaned, i suggest that every time you need to use the bathroom today, you piss on the floor.

Can I come piss on the floor too? I still have some angst left.

Sorry, that was gross.

Sarah is esp. punk after that statement.

Ok. I take back the gross statement then.

I don't think the boss lady is mad at me, but she's very stressed out and not her usual self, and I don't deal well with even perceived anger/annoyance.

I'm hungry. And sleepy.

Fry up that plant.

I'm gonna piss in the plant.

Ok, but you really should just do one or the other.

yeah, i guess all of this is really the plant's fault, after all.

Yep. Shoulda been born a cactus.

take a picture of the plant

I like to keep the plant on my desk super thirsty. You know, you've got to keep them wanting more.
Honestly, I'm just a really bad plant mom.

I left one of my houseplants out on the back porch for a couple weeks too long and it got frostbitten. Now it's all black. I've been watering it, but I think it's a goner. :-(

Meowy Christmas

terrifying

umad

some of those meows are only made by asshole cats or cats in cars

i just ate my third burger of the week

A lesson in wastefulness:
One of my coworkers just threw away a huge container of cookies, all of which I LOOOVE, because, "We really shouldn't be eating this crap."

Will power, woman! It's called, WILL POWER!

I would have totally eaten some tomorrow.

I figured they were mostly keyboard cats.

My freshman year in college, I developed quite the crazy cat lady reputation when I blasted my Jingle Cats tape all December long. The tape finally broke a few years later. I fixed it with tape, which worked for a while. Then it broke again.

Who is she to decide what you (plural) should be eating?

Sarah, it's been said before and it will be said again, but your coworkers sound like they rank amongst the worst people in Chicago.

That happens every year. It's not just her. Usually the boss man does it because he's a closet treats eater. A couple years ago I watched in horror as he tossed about 25 full size candy bars in the kitchen garbage.

I'm sorry I'm bitching so much about them today, you guys.

I wasn't complaining about your bitching, I was only restating the obvious. I don't know how you put up with it!

xpost Oh no! I didn't think you meant it that way. I'm just sayin'.

Ooh ooh just one more.
One coworker at lunch was complaining that she'd probably never be able to afford the 1.5 mil house she wants and will have to "settle" for one @$800k instead. This is just for herself!

Now I will bitch.

I delivered some stuff to the lawyer who manages the unit downstairs. The owner of the unit (a known a-hole from way back) gave me a tour of the damage. They pulled all the carpet out of two large offices!

Turns out that when the plumber's burst pipe 3 years it was his space that got flooded.

sarah, your office sounds messed up! can't you tell people to give you the food, rather than throw it away? tell them you'll hide it from them if they're that sad...

What are you bitching about there? xp

My coworkers already see me as being this needy person... Nick suggested I go take the box of cookies out of the trash. I mean, they are in the box. I'm kind of worried someone might see me doing that though.

Maybe he's bitching because the one plant thing opened this whole other can of worms.

Which, from the sounds of it, he'll have to handle.

Dunno.

Was that not bitchy enough? I guess the spark's gone out of it....

I just didn't understand. I r slo.

This fucking guy. He kept saying "there's no way this was from watering plants! Not unless you were using a garden hose!" And when I tried to tell my side of it, he interrupted me and said (in a really annoying, ingratiating "friendly" tone), "It really doesn't matter, as long as we get it fixed. I'm not angry you know." Then he would say more shit about the sheer quantity of the deluge.

IT WAS LESS THAN A GALLON OF FUCKING WATER.

That's better, Jesse. USE THOSE CAPITAL LETTERS!

You should have said "it was about this much water" and then dumped that amount on him.

I reached down to pick something up off the floor, got too close to a timber and jammed a splinter deep, deep into my fingernail. More than 1/4 of the way! Wah.

i would take the candy out of the garbage

http://copyranter.blogspot.com/2007/12/taint-another-american-apparel-ad-is-it.html

American Appparel ad, so possibly NSFyourW.