Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

cuz i don't.

otm, 'family-friendly' usually means 'no nudity or swearing or centre-left ideology or gaying'

It also means, in a restaurant setting, really dismal food and cartoon characters...

oh god it does too (it's been a while)

If your shit stinks you should not be allowed to use a public toilet. The asphyxiation risk is so severe I'm having to go out hunting along the street.

People who use too many words and/or acronyms in place of simple English. Just saw this headline:

What was MIA from the big iPad announcements today?

MISSING, the word is MISSING

Funny that they saved 4 characters with "MIA" and over-spent them on "announcements" -- surely there's a shorter way to say that?

People on Facebook. Who use periods. Like this.

People on Facebook.

I know 'facebook status updates that make you IA' could be its own thread but anyway:
PPl who (only) post Facebook updates about their work and all the normal things they have to do that have for some reason strike them as uber-geeky or technical and start passively showing off about it, i.e. "Need to get this gantt chart finished!!!" or ANYTHING relating to basic HTML or SQL or Excel commands "Paste+transpose, where have you been all my life?!"

N**** F**** Oh no it's Monday!!!!
N**** F**** can't believe it's only Tuesday!!!
N**** F**** is so glad it's Wednesday!!!!
N**** F**** is so glad it's Thursday!!!!
N**** F**** Thank god it's Friday!!!!
N**** F**** Oh no it's Monday!!!
N**** F**** can't believe it's only Tuesday!!!!!

etc etc

THAT is one of the 2389748942 key reasons I don't do farcebook anymore.

I must have decent friends cos I dont get that kind of shit.

what do you expect when you friend Nigel Fucko

xps always reminds me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UTQGqeX-go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guv5LUT1AFw

My annoyance doesn't quite get to the level of "irrationally angry," but I really don't like when people say "I'm just saying" or "I'm not saying, I'm just saying." Actually, I am getting kind of angry just thinking about it.

Extend that to when politicians (especially PMs) say 'can I just say this'. Um HELLO you do rule the whole country.

Today, my cubemates all determined the following:

1. Gwyneth Paltrow's version of "Fuck You" is superior to Cee-Lo's.
2. They don't like pickles on burgers.
3. One expressed praise for Full House.
4. Glee is the best show on TV

I would never buy a beer for any of these herbs, or even let them ride in my car.

pickles on burgers are brilliant. they probably eat their burgers with shredded, rancid iceberg lettuce; limp, out-of-season tomatoes; and like a gallon of mayo.

overheard in my office tonight, whispered in a hushed, reverent tone: "i sooo want to go to pf chang's."

the man that gives away the free newspaper at the underground station that has no conception of if a person looks like they want to take a newspaper from him. those newspaper people are all very annoying but i particularly dislike this one, everything about him. he doesn't even stand on one place he's like a goalkeeper moving left and right across the whole of the entrance to intercept each person entering the station. And if i'm going to be reading on the tube then I haven't got my headphones on which means i also have to hear his voice and his voice is really annoying in a way i can't quite define.

Also, the use of the word "admits" in articles, for something that isn't an admission. "after collecting the trophy, sanchez admitted he was a worthy winner"

i've been told that a journalist should use "said" every time someone has "said" something, despite any urges the author might have to break up the repetition with "laughed," "admitted," etc. "said" strips the sentence of any editorializing/misperception and gets to the point.

i like "said" i've always admitted i'd prefer this

I understand 'said' for news coverage - and agree - but for big interviews or features (which is what I do - I'm not reviewing or news reporting) I do like to convey the nuance of a subject's responses so do not limit the words I have at my disposal to put the subject's disposition and reactions across (which still includes plain old 'said' when necessary).

Don't actually have a problem with most of those words - its really just 'admits' and 'concedes'. Got to the point now where even in contexts where the terms are actually appropriate to use I feel a flash of annoyance

despite his usual non-confrontational persona, cherry blossom admits that he sometimes feels irrationally angry

i really dislike "offered" as a synonym for "said" as well

Postman disappearing when I went out on Monday. Post van was there, i looked around to check if postman anywhere near. had been expecting one item for seemingly too long so wanted to make sure it wasn't with him.
Couldn't see him, went into town came back couple hours later & yes first item is in hallway but I have a green form instead of 2nd package. system with undelivery now is that they've centralised the phone system, so you're ringing somebody on the other side of the country instead of local sorting office. Subsequently they're not redelivering undelivered mail as easily & you have to trek out to sorting office which is now way out of town, seems like about a mile from closest bus stop.
trying to avoid missing delivery on items has tended to mean me sitting around at home waiting, or not taking showers at times I think postman might appear.

Further problem not hearing the doorbell. or alternatively thinking that I have heard the doorbell several times thanks to chimes in music being played, therefore checking door repeatedly but not at the time doorbell actually went off. This thanks to amount of times of crying wolf.
Must be a simple way around both problems here.

& hoping that downstairs door being shut in future doesn't actually exacerbate this further. I live alone up 4 flights of stairs, there is a street door to a place where bins are and people keep dumping things there. It has been suggested that that door be locked and a letterbox be situated at that level. So I'm really looking forward to not hearing postman even more so when they try to deliver oversize packages.

Journalists using ever-more fancy words to avoid "said" always reminds me of the randomly generated newspaper front pages from SimCity 2000, which would churn out articles featuring frequent use of "the mayor averred..." and "a citizen opined..."

(in news articles, I mean - absolutely makes sense in interviews, though even then there are some words which you only ever see in local newspaper articles or which just scream "8 year old writes story for school, has been told by teacher not to use 'said'")

substitutes for "said" that i enjoy:

- spluttered
- exclaimed
- mumbled
- whispered
- whined

I almost never use 'exclaimed' because there's punctuation for that, but I haven't done my job unless I whack in a 'chortled'.

i guess it's true about "exclaimed" being redundant. hee hee yes to "chortled"! --- also:

- cackled
- spat
- sneered

Useful for interviews with laconic Southerners: 'drawled'.

"'Oh!'" he ejaculated."

Ejaculations into ears = why hello, Jane Austen, I didn't know you were that sort of girl...

You can't use most of the above in news.

Said, added, continued, went on, or nothing at all for a par in between, is my formula.

Maybe "joked" or "laughed" if it's an entertainment story.

Most hideous: 'smiled'. Usually found only in the lower rent kinds of fanfic, thank heavens.

I know someone who mistakenly used 'queefed' instead of 'quipped'....

I had "who kisses johnny depp's character in the flick" in a story today before noticing how lol it sounded...

There's a tabloid celeb reporter that always use "s/he shrilled!". Urgggh.

that's just wrong, shrill isn't a verb. "trilled" maybe, but that would make my skin crawl.

in news writing "said" is the only acceptable way imo

- cackled
- spat
- sneered

Keep all three on hand for stories on Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld et al.

Is " '[X],' he eviled" proper construction?

xpost - my error, it is 'trilled' he uses.

i saw some more oyster rubbers today, utterly failing to make the barriers work the first time

"i don't understand, my rubbing technique is impeccable!"

tbh sometimes I have to do the rubbing to make it work - my usual Oyster action is to tap, but sometimes I get the Seek Assistance problem, and in that instance, rubbing seems to help.

probably a bad idea to gis 'oyster rubbing'

don't tap, just hold it there! though i know it feels less purposeful and dynamic...

Two interviews last month - one, a venerable old film director with weapons-grade twinkly-uncle schtick and a hellraiser past; the other a young French product designer who's very boisterous and mobile. In each case, just like always, I really want to convey the nuances of their conversation and how they behave while being questioned since all those little tells add up to an assessment of disposition and help to draw a portrait. Again, I do not work in news but where my work intersects with current events via a newsworthy subject, I like knowing that I'm not limited to 'said' or reactive descriptions only.