Defend the Indefensible: "Reality Bites"

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reality bites is another reason why all white people must be killed, immediately

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:06 (twenty-two years ago)

o why can't i get just one screw

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

OK. Have any of the people ripping on this movie seen S.F.W.? Show of hands.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

this is gonna be like when professor frink asked if anyone had seen tron

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Ben Stiller really needed to have his head caved in by a crowbar midway through that movie for all of his supposed generation-defining inanities. I've held a grudge against him ever since that came out.

It might be the movie that made me hate him, because I remember watching the Ben Stiller Show. I've never watched Dead Poets Society the same way since, either, cause when Ethan Hawke shows up being all blinky and timid, I just think, "Yeah, you know, maybe the whole 'teachers feel feelings' thing doesn't work and Robin Williams SHOULD be fired, because you grow up to be a fuck."

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't, Anthony, but you're not making me want to. Besides, I've seen New Rose Hotel, which is worse; that doesn't make Reality Bites any better.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

OK. Have any of the people ripping on this movie seen S.F.W.? Show of hands.

"Guys? Guys? If you think this shit on a platter smells bad, you obviously haven't left it out in in your living room for a few days!"

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm just saying that after S.F.W. this film seems completely benign. If overambitious and absurd.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"hey you think dogshit tastes bad, try eating this panhandler's corpse"

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

ohhh new rose hotel omg omg

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:14 (twenty-two years ago)

these metaphors should stick within the world of prepared meals (which are what films are). It's more like "you think Ethan Hawke's overbaked pizza is bad, check out Stephen Dorff's sometime."

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:15 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell is SFW? I kept reading this as "SWF" as in "Single White Female" which is inarguably worse than Reality Bites.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

ohhh new rose hotel omg omg

Man, I'm sorry, I was hoping that was a private pain.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony, Anthony, there is no way that the sheer awfulness of Reality Bites can even come close to being compared with food, but if you really must, and to keep in the same mode as the movie itself, watching Reality Bites is like drinking a Big Gulp container filled with warm piss. Maybe for SFW the pisser ate asparagus the night before, but I still don't want to drink the piss.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

YER ALL INNOCENT CHILDREN WITH NO CLUE OF WHAT HORRORS AWAIT THEE IN THE VIDEO STORE! NO CLUE WHATSOEVER!

peace out.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Just to toss in a couple of things for a non-existent Defend the Indefensible: New Rose Hotel thread...

- a decent ability to suggest a futuristic industrial landscape via only a few murky city shots
- Asia Argento topless

that's all I got, really.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i can get topless asia argento on the internet tho. for free.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:22 (twenty-two years ago)

in fact, i think i will right now.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:22 (twenty-two years ago)

See, and that suggests the future, too! We don't need you, New Rose Hotel!

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

No one's saying there are not worse films than Reality Bites of course, just that none of the worse films feature Ethan Hawke as a musician asshole with a goatee.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

except gattica

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

no goatee there.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Ethan Hawke as asshole identity assuming janitor

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

checking it on allmovie i'm surprised at how late NRH came out. 99!

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm trying to think of movies that would be improved by EHAAMAWAG, and they're all dinosaur movies, and they all involve the dinosaurs eating/stomping on/crapping on EHAAMAWAG.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

hopefully EHAAMAWAG would be the noise he made

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm actually picturing the dinosaurs from Land Before Time 4, 5, 6, whatever (or We're Back) doing this, and am kind of happy about it.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Ethan Hawke is going to be in a remake of Assault On Precinct 13! geeyargh

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

who's directing it?

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

jan de bont

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Jean-François Richet

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

(The dinosaurs are actually Jesus)

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

anyone else see Ethan Hawke as an asshole filmmaker Hamlet in that remake from a few years back? it wasn't too bad.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus should definitely get locked in a tower and break out by dislocating his shoulder so he can escape and eat Ethan Hawke.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus needs to floss afterwards too.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Or EHAAMAWAG, anyway. I don't hate Ethan Hawke in everything. (Training Day was cool.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

The best parts of Training Day involved either Peter Greene or Scott Glenn, who just ain't in enough movies.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i saw this at the height of my ryder obsession and i STILL thought it was the worst movie ever. even poor janeane is kind of annoying in it.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony, you stupid fucking taco.

that line cracks me up every time. The only good thing about SFW.

― Carey (Carey), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The best parts of Training Day involved either Peter Greene or Scott Glenn, who just ain't in enough movies.

He made one too many Backdrafts and one too many Edie and Pens, I think, but yeah, he stole some scenes in TD.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:42 (twenty-two years ago)

that asia argento thing is fucking terrifying

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Holy crap, "you stupid fucking taco" is a great line.

On the bad movie thing, since I'm soooo doped up and can't keep track or be bothered to find a different thread, I saw Le Divorce this weekend and I think I hate Kate Hudson, Naomi Watts, blondes, women, and the French as a result.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

yoo are sahch a poozy strong-o

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

surely it didnt take you this long to hate kate hudson

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

At the end of the tunnel, disappointment turned to hate.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Troy Dyer was hot. *ducks*

― Carey (Carey), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm gonna throw a squirrel tail at you, Carey.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

kate hudson may be the only woman i've ever had a violent reaction to onscreen

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Carey wants to ride Troy's melt.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 289 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

lol otm re sweater folding

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 05:41 (eight years ago)

Reality Bites vs. Singles, fite!

― nickn, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 07:00 (eight years ago)

y not both <3

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 07:49 (eight years ago)

four months pass...

Bring on another raking over the coals!

https://longreads.com/2018/03/27/youve-reached-the-winter-of-our-discontent/

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 13:15 (eight years ago)

2300 words is a "long read?"

― Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 13:16 (eight years ago)

You millennials with your 280 characters and your etc

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 13:26 (eight years ago)

I just read this entire thread again. I like how someone mentions David Spade as being in the movie.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:10 (eight years ago)

I obviously have always had problems with how bad Ethan Hawke looks while kissing on screen.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:11 (eight years ago)

I obviously have always had problems with how bad Ethan Hawke looks ~~while kissing~~ on screen.

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:14 (eight years ago)

Ha, I said he looks like he smells like a hairless cat on the Before Sunrise thread last week.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:16 (eight years ago)

"you got time to lean, you got time to clean" - David Spade in Reality Bites may be my favorite thing he's ever done.

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 19:49 (eight years ago)

lotta dudes roll up itt to continually complain/whine/disparage Ethan and methinks the lads doth protest too much

Ethan is dreamy the end

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 19:51 (eight years ago)

So many problems with this movie but I still will watch it anytime it is on. I am only a tad bit embarrassed that I called Troy Dyer hot over a decade ago above.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 19:53 (eight years ago)

Had a similar moment listening to the Spin Doctors in the car recently tbf

― well bissogled trotters (Michael B), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 19:58 (eight years ago)

one year passes...

Generation X was a terrible mistake.

― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Thursday, 28 March 2019 04:41 (seven years ago)

saw thread, came here to post this, but of course it was already covered 15 years ago:

Winona Ryder

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, April 5, 2004 8:37 PM

― flappy bird, Thursday, 28 March 2019 04:58 (seven years ago)

five years pass...

I guess the owners didn't want any sweet Gen X Airbnb bux

https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston-texas/trending/article/reality-bites-home-houston-demolition-permit-19385708.php

A demolition permit was taken out on the Houston fourplex at 409 W. Clay Street in the Montrose neighborhood, the city’s permitting center confirmed.
Each unit of the property has one bedroom, one bathroom, a living and dining room plus hardwood floors, according to Apartments.com.
A YouTube video of a walkthrough of the building on Thursday, showed the home in disarray with trash and debris scattered in multiple rooms, doors off their hinges, displaced furniture and even a cat tower left behind from the previous occupants. It's unclear when the residence will be demolished.

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 6 April 2024 01:00 (two years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qp9riQGrRI

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 6 April 2024 01:12 (two years ago)

Would watch a split screen shot by shot reshoot of slacker then and now

― calstars, Saturday, 6 April 2024 02:10 (two years ago)

There was a multi-director Slacker remake in 2011, and IIRC, they tried to match the locations.

A good chunk of the movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aRmEhJZhjI

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 6 April 2024 03:16 (two years ago)

Thanks for that

― calstars, Saturday, 6 April 2024 13:43 (two years ago)

True story (or so I've been told): Winona Ryder's character, Lelaina, was named after the future wife of a former ILX'or.

― clemenza, Saturday, 6 April 2024 17:53 (two years ago)

...and it's gone: https://www.reddit.com/r/houston/s/lqRzzW3MEB

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 9 April 2024 23:15 (two years ago)

Our long national nightmare is over.

― birdistheword, Wednesday, 10 April 2024 00:28 (two years ago)

It's totally Ethan Hawke's fault.

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 10 April 2024 00:32 (two years ago)

I'd rather blame Stiller.

― birdistheword, Wednesday, 10 April 2024 00:37 (two years ago)

For the movie that is.

― birdistheword, Wednesday, 10 April 2024 00:37 (two years ago)

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