Does this mean Mordy's future kid is gonna be a lil girl? awwwwwwwwwww
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:41 (thirteen years ago) link
Yeah, when my girl was two months old my wife all casually texted me to say that she was at the mall and going to drop by the piercing pagoda to poke holes into my baby! I threw a fucking fit.
― Catsupppppp Grind (kkvgz), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:42 (thirteen years ago) link
xp lol yes
― Mordy, Friday, 4 February 2011 18:43 (thirteen years ago) link
idk this is just me farting out stupid thoughts but I think if I had a (parent) who was worried abt me playing w/princesses, etc., things that are girly signifiers* ESP to other little girls? you know? I would be worried said (parent) was nervous abt the fact that I was a girl, at all.
*may be misusing this word, kinda insecure abt this part of kollij
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:45 (thirteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Voxp3ckwJZ0
― Catsupppppp Grind (kkvgz), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:46 (thirteen years ago) link
Incidentally, I'm pretty sure that my girl is going to turn out to be a princess, but since my wife and I are raising her, she'll at least be a benevolent princess.
― Catsupppppp Grind (kkvgz), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:47 (thirteen years ago) link
Little girls caring about each others' appearance/"branding" (h8 this word) is kinda hard to handle, tho. Before I left the church at age 19 I was a Sunday school teacher for the four-year-old kids, six of whom were lil girls and one of whom was a lil boy who had kind of a bad rep but was actually awesome. The lil girls were all from wealthy households (compared to me) and the lil boy was from a v poor household (also compared to me). Those little girls were such shits already about clothing, appearance, etc! Criticizing each others' shoes, asking each other where they got their clothes from BUT they learned it from their moms or maybe more imptly from their older teenage sisters? I was never like that bcz I didn't have any examples to learn it from. I told them we weren't allowed to talk about where we bought clothes from, at church, anymore, bcz it hurt people's (the little boy's) feelings too much (also mine, lol).
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:49 (thirteen years ago) link
also lol am I the only woman on this thread?
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:50 (thirteen years ago) link
also LOL the only non-parent who is just a big fuxking know-it-all?
no offense to anyone but people who pierce baby ears are mentally ill imho
― Darin, Friday, February 4, 2011 1:40 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark
otm
― hercudeez and nuts affair (some dude), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:50 (thirteen years ago) link
You guys hate Hispanic ppl. </ethan>
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:52 (thirteen years ago) link
Joking joking!
Naw, Abbs, I'm right here with you on both counts.
― go peddle your bullshit somewhere else sister (Laurel), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:52 (thirteen years ago) link
high fives
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:53 (thirteen years ago) link
xp to abbott, orenstein discusses in her book whether disavowing princess stuff can lead to the daughter feeling like the parents are disavowing the gender, esp if she is still young enough that in her mind the stereotypes about the gender are closely linked to the indivisible gender itself.
― Mordy, Friday, 4 February 2011 18:53 (thirteen years ago) link
yo before you go calling people who pierce baby ears "mentally ill" (oops too late) there is a cultural factor here. pretty sure there are other countries where piercing baby ears is just what's done and has been done for a long time. my sister was born in india and they wanted to pierce her ears right in the hospital.
― congratulations (n/a), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:53 (thirteen years ago) link
like everything else in the book tho, she raises the question but doesn't really come down on either side. "something to keep in mind..." style of writing xp
her mom was 18 at the time, so
― bien-pensant vibe (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:53 (thirteen years ago) link
I was so hurt as a lil girl when my madre y padre wouldn't let me buy a NInja Turtles shirt because "they're not for little girls." But I would have been equally upset if they didn't let me play w/Barbies bcz that enforced some or another gender worry!
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:54 (thirteen years ago) link
my mother got my ears pierced when i was a baby, and after unsuccessfully trying to get two more piercings in each ear myselft many, many years, i am glad she did!
― just1n3, Friday, 4 February 2011 18:55 (thirteen years ago) link
best thing about the book is that orenstein is a big bettelheim fan and so she's constantly like, "Cinderella disney blows. go back to Grimm's and find the version where the sisters chop their feet up and birds peck out their eyes cause that'll help children develop better"
― Mordy, Friday, 4 February 2011 18:56 (thirteen years ago) link
Here's the thing is that my wife presented solid reasons for wanting to do it, but I just emotionally did not want her to do it.
― Catsupppppp Grind (kkvgz), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:56 (thirteen years ago) link
my son wanted to watch the princess and the frog and i sort of made a crack like "how about a hockey game instead"...then i realized i was acting like an idiot.
― Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice (chrisv2010), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:57 (thirteen years ago) link
ha I did like that Bettelheim book but he said something once that totally broke my <3 once, forget what it was. If my parents had tried to read me Women Who Run w/the Wolves or some shit it would have been zzzzz central tho.
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:58 (thirteen years ago) link
Also, no offense Darin, but fuck mental illness stigmas. Fuck them in the fucking ass.
― Catsupppppp Grind (kkvgz), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:58 (thirteen years ago) link
my parents gave me Bly's Iron John when i was 13 and it blew my mind xp
― Mordy, Friday, 4 February 2011 18:58 (thirteen years ago) link
the clothing thing is weird. before we had our baby i was pretty dead-set on gender-neutral clothing (ie nothing too pink and frilly) though we did end up with some girly clothes via gifts. now i actually dress her in the girlier clothes more often because it's genuinely annoying to me when people assume she's a boy. not because i think it's bad for people to think she's a boy per se but because i feel like i should correct them, and then i feel like i'm being a dick by correcting them, so i usually don't correct people who are just strangers who i'm never going to see again, because who cares, but then it's like this itch i didn't scratch by not correcting them. and i've had people who assume she's a boy even when she's wearing pink! my theory is that people assume that it's safer to guess that a baby is a boy, because if you call a girl a boy it's ok but if you call a boy a girl you're implying they're less masculine, even though they're just babies.
― congratulations (n/a), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:58 (thirteen years ago) link
Women Who Run blah blah is zzzzz central anyway. I vote for reading them the bloody versions of everything.
― go peddle your bullshit somewhere else sister (Laurel), Friday, 4 February 2011 18:59 (thirteen years ago) link
aw that last idea breaks my <3 too n/a (not you n/a, you seem like a p righteous dad)
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:00 (thirteen years ago) link
My wife brought my son home from grandmas in a tutu the other day. And he was wearing it in a mood of "hey, let's be silly" but I'm really glad they let him do that.
― Catsupppppp Grind (kkvgz), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:00 (thirteen years ago) link
ha - working in retail i have developed a shortcut to figuring out baby gender: immediately ask 'aww how old is your baby?' bc then you'll always get a 'he's [...] old' or 'she's [...] old'
― just1n3, Friday, 4 February 2011 19:01 (thirteen years ago) link
haha Laurel my mom-in-law had me read that book when she first me me and I think it broke her <3 that I didn't totally embrace it and say like "yes I am the proud ugly duckling thx for opening my inner woman."
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:01 (thirteen years ago) link
n/a, we tried to do the same gender-neutral clothing thing "what's all this pink shit? can't I find a girl's onsie in yellow or something?" but once she was born, we started dressing her in pink most of the time because we realized that she is inherently a princess and we were totally cool with that.
― Catsupppppp Grind (kkvgz), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:02 (thirteen years ago) link
Wld you like me to knit future Lil Girl Mordy a nice gender-neutral baby hat, Mordy? I am itching to make a baby hat!
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:03 (thirteen years ago) link
ALternately I could make a ridic Victorian lace bonnet, the choice is yours.
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:04 (thirteen years ago) link
Def! That sounds awesome
― Mordy, Friday, 4 February 2011 19:04 (thirteen years ago) link
Hmm prob the first one...
my son does love to wear costumes, he wore a tigger costume for two days once. fantastic.
― Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice (chrisv2010), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:04 (thirteen years ago) link
hey I want a victorian lace bonnet too!
― bien-pensant vibe (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:05 (thirteen years ago) link
Send me an email abt yr choice of baby colors...idk if that's a thing. I just imagine ppl who have a baby picking out paint chips like "these are the ones for lil zygote here."
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:05 (thirteen years ago) link
Ha Shakey I cld if you want! I just have a cool vintage pattern I want to make but no one I know likes fancy stuff for babies!
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2136/2089488834_fef8be6375_z.jpg
― totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:06 (thirteen years ago) link
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5054/5416672554_1d0c7f6e14.jpg
― Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice (chrisv2010), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:09 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah i mean i know what you mean, the idea of gender policing children is horrible and gross to me but as a parent idk the idea of like gender neutral clothing and neutrally coded toys is really great and righ-on and everything but in the end these kids are gonna end up in some school w/ kids w/ shitty douchebags for parents and i can imagine all yr idealism is gonna get crushed just by the fact that you cant completely fabricate this righteous context for them at all times and the world is terrible and awful.
― plax (ico), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:11 (thirteen years ago) link
Abbotsville, that bonnet is heirloom material!! Anyone should be amazed and grateful to have it made for their bebe.
― go peddle your bullshit somewhere else sister (Laurel), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:13 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah thats beautiful. you should sell them.
― Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice (chrisv2010), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:14 (thirteen years ago) link
Chrisv: when the "Halloween Store" opens every year, we always end up buying our guy two or three costumes, because he'll totally play with them for dress-up during the rest of the year.
― Catsupppppp Grind (kkvgz), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:15 (thirteen years ago) link
Abbott current kid too old for a bonnet, but will get to work on making a new one so that I can ask you for one lol
― bien-pensant vibe (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:17 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah he was Buzz Lightyear for Halloween this year, that costume has got a ton of use. His favorite christmas present this year was Woody pajamas that resemble woodys outfit. We have to wash them daily so he can wear them daily.
― Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice (chrisv2010), Friday, 4 February 2011 19:42 (thirteen years ago) link
― Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice (chrisv2010), Friday, February 4, 2011 2:04 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark
haha that's great. i should put the picture of my son in a giraffe costume last halloween on the 77 parenthood thread
― hercudeez and nuts affair (some dude), Friday, 4 February 2011 20:01 (thirteen years ago) link
Well, I was thinking of some friends of mine irl who pierced their baby's ears, posted the photos on Facebook with the mom in the background laughing. I wasn't really thinking about other cultures - just personal exp w/friends & relatives.
― Darin, Friday, 4 February 2011 20:44 (thirteen years ago) link