NAMING RIGHTS THREAD: Liverpool really won't win the Premiership 2010-2011

He certainly has potential but from an objective pov he dearly needs a stronger hand than Pardew to sort his fucking head out. I guess Newcastle can pray that Capello takes an interest.

Intriguing developments at Newcastle. Manager Alan Pardew was due to hold his pre-match press conference ahead of Wednesday's trip to Fulham at the club's training headquarters at 1400 GMT. This has now been put back to 1530 GMT and will take place at St James' Park. Make of that what you will.

Assume this is just so he can be about for Ireland's medical/signing?

Ireland is so obviously one of those players who was always going to end up at Newcastle, I can't believe I hadn't spotted this before

What idiot schedules a managerial press conference for transfer deadline day?

Manager Alan Pardew

haha

How come the fees being quoted have suddenly got so high in this transfer window? £50m for Torres and £24m for Suarez are understandable; but £24m for Bent, £18m for Young, certainly £30m for Carroll when he's a risk for all sorts of reasons, all seem vastly beyond the trends of the past couple of seasons.

Transfer Deadline day (and... Darren Bent) in general bring out the crazy.

It hasn't done recently though, has it? The last few have been really boring iirc

Also the fact that the league is so compressed means that managers and chairmen are either panicking (Villa, Chelsea) or seeing opportunities to rampage quickly up the league (Liverpool, Spurs) if they just get that one elusive last-piece-of-the-jigsaw. Of course it never actually works like that.

Are you happy with the way Spurs seem so eager to spend, Matt? I couldn't believe it when I saw you're making bids in the £30+m bracket now.

Oba Martins back in the Premiership! Wooo! Since Kanu and Yakubu left, Mikel couldn't hold the 'lol he is 20 years older than his passport age' life on his own.

Dunno, I have a lot of (possibly misplaced) faith in Daniel Levy not to overspend and leave us in a financial hole, although I have zero faith in Redknapp not to do the same. I suspect any big signings we make will be followed by a massive sale of players in the summer, especially if we don't qualify for the CL. There's a lot of dead wood out on loan now that could go for a decent fee if they perform.

But I dunno, I just can't see us getting fourth this season and am very nervous about spending a truckload to try and get there.

So, Torres goes if Liverpool can get a replacement, yes? if Carroll is off the market, they don't want Sturridge and Anelka isn't being thrown in... Kris Boyd?

Torres goes full stop, I'm assuming. Lack of firepower isn't the worst problem imo, and Suarez should be fine himself 'til the end of the season if it comes to that. Slightly worried that no defenders bar Warnock get mentioned. As far as forwards go, I was musing that a Beardsley type is what they could really do with, but there aren't many of those about - Spurs did very well getting van der Vaart in August.

I can't work out even a first thought about Carroll - that bid is completely unexpected.

Oh come a couple hours and its all "oh sorry nando, maybe if you told us sooner. still, play well between now and may and you'll get yourself a big money move"

Is Warnock that much better than Konchesky?

Liverpool boy whose mum is less likely to call out car stereo thieves.

No idea tbh. I've tried to look him up, pay attention etc. since he was named in the world cup squad, but nothing sticks. I've even seen pictures of him and still couldn't tell you what he looks like.

A question whose answer is unlikely to matter, but humour me:

What happens re: CL qualification if Spurs win the Champions League but finish outside the top four?

We all LOL our tits off

I would guess the same thing that happened to Liverpool in 2005?

Steven Warnock was the special guest at my Duke of Edinburgh's Award ceremony many years ago.

Gareth Bale is coming to Total Network Solutions - Champions League 2011-2012

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_rv4L4DN6GRI/TOLcd6nz3VI/AAAAAAAAACs/ocq699VTn50/s1600/Pink+Floyd+-+Animals.jpg

What was Warnocky(?) like, Chris? And what grade was your award?

I would guess the same thing that happened to Liverpool in 2005?

But that was a special favour, the rules said Liverpool shouldn't have qualified, and initially they said that if Liverpool were allowed in then Everton wouldn't be. Did they actually sort out the rules after that fiasco?

Apparently Torres has left Melwood in a helicopter.

did he mack on yr sister?

If Spurs win the Champions League and Chelsea finish fourth I can see UEFA revoking Chelsea's place just to spit them.

Judge Lord Neuberger ruled in favour of the man, known only as JIH.

He said JIH had been had been in a long-term relationship with someone known only as XX.

http://www.motherlovemusic.be/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/the-xx.jpg

o_O

If Spurs win the Champions League I will dance naked down Seven Sisters Road.

I don't think they would spit Chelsea.

Chelsea must make mad deniro for UEFA though. More people must tune in to see what hilarious cocked-up way they leave the comp than actually watch the final

Spurs go into Ch Lge and the team in fourth don't iirc

http://www.xs4all.nl/~kassiesa/bert/uefa/

The table here reckons the winners qualify for the group stage. The rest seems to be coeeficients-based-only, suggesting England would get five places. I think this is just some guy's website though, so have no idea of its accuracy.

coefficients

coëfficients

If Spurs win the CL before Arsenal I think I may actually jump off a building, fyi.

I'd make sure Jermaine Jenas: Champions League Winner was directly below me.

you'd be impaled on his world player of the year crown

I think this is just some guy's website though, so have no idea of its accuracy.

Well, sports press have turned to that website for up-to-date info on this, he is seen as some sort of authority, as he's been doing this religiously for years and years.

they'd give that to him the day after they win it in may? blimey messi would be pissed for the rest of the year

sports press have turned to that website for up-to-date info on this

so not accurate at all then, glad we got that sorted.

What was Warnocky(?) like, Chris? And what grade was your award?

Well, he was only presenting the Gold awards, and I was a Bronze, so I didn't get to meet him on stage. But I went over to him afterwards and shook his hand and he was great, really nice guy. He signed my certificate!

Was Paul Konchesky presenting the bronzes?

Hm, yes xp, I was maybe a bit unfair there - have used him myself for various stats in the past. I was really just trying to avoid liability in case Mr Levy does decide to put all his eggs in the CL basket.

I can't remember why now, but I was meaning to start a sightings thread for footballers out-of-habitat a while back and forgot. It seemed really important at the time. I may use the Warnock one to kick it off if you don't mind, he sounds quite charming.

In other news, former England international Gareth Southgate has been confirmed as the FA's new Head of Elite Development. He will start right away.

good signing imo.

xp Yeah go for it, I've got a more few good ones!

When Giants Walked The Earth: out-of-habitat footballer sightings thread