this is the horny commiseration thread

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So did I make TEH ULTIMATE FUNNY thread, then? Bet I didn't. Sigh.

― what katie didn't do, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

You made the ILEpitaphs thread. Which is better anyway. More exclusive.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i might post oc's comment on it

― Senor Embargo (blueski), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I had use for the phrase "you just harshbuzzed my clit-on". Oh, if only I were female.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Or a hermaphrodite.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Where's the epitaphs thread? Is it worth another 50p to find out?

Gah, this is more addictive than peep shows. But cheaper, thankfully!

― what katie didn't do, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Back (on) Top! ha ha

I've had too much caffeine this morning and need some distracting sex talk.

That FHM model has a weird face.

The two guys kissing are cute, but the gun does nothing for me. I think he should be holding a flower instead.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I was going to say a cat, but I don't want people to think that... well... yeah... just something fuzzy and soft.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Revive! er... in more ways than one. Us horny people need to have a place to come together. Or at least be together.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

three days and counting

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

until...?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

About a month. Oh, joy.

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you guys have long-distance girlfriends? Or are you saving up for hookers?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:34 (twenty-one years ago)

no no these are 'since' times

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

ah so.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I do.

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:37 (twenty-one years ago)

what's it been now? a month, yes

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Wear a trucker hat and you're sorted.

― Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Eat a falafel, buy a vibrator.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew there was something I forgot to do today... eat a falafel!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Luna, I do not believe for a second that you purchased a viobrator today. I believe instead that you already own an assortment.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:59 (twenty-one years ago)

a veritable dollymixture of vibrations?

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I do already own an assortment, this is true - however, I did purchase a new one today.

I like variety. And it's hot pink.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Carnation pink is such a turnoff.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:11 (twenty-one years ago)

carnation pink vibrators could surely only be for nannas

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Well it's either that or I become a nun.

I took a chance.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Funnily enough, since I last posted here I've had sex with two different persons, which is highly unusual for me. But both of these affairs were kinda messy and didn't leave me any happier, and I've come to realize it's not really sex I'm missing, it's having sex with someone I'm in love with.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I miss being in love, too.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i haven't had sex for 5 months. this is a record for me, the longest since i have been sexually active (about 12 years). i'm not crawling the walls or anything yet though.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

aw. Tuomas, I hug you. Not that it's me you want a hug from, but still. I understand that a whole lot.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, Kenan, I appreciate your sympathy. Hugs to you too.

Gem, you've had regular sex ever since you were twelve? Of course there's nothing wrong with it, but that's kinda unusual. Or at least unusual compared to people like me who lost their virginity when they were 18.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not really sex I'm missing, it's having sex with someone I'm in love with.

Is it possible to be in love with someone and still have bad sex? Because I'm pretty sure I'm in love, but the sex is the worst I've ever had, and I'm including my early twenties. Could it be that I love her as a friend?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I ate falafel today

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Gem, you've had regular sex ever since you were twelve

errrr no, i've been sexually active for about 12 years (i'm 28).

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

It could be.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Could it be that I love her as a friend?

...or is that just a stupid thing to say? "I love you as a friend." Oh Jesus, someone please slap the shit out of me if I ever actually say that to a woman.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I worry sometimes that I will
(a) never have sex again;
(b) never be in love again; and
(c) both of the above.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"I love you as a friend."

someone said that to me once. it broke my heart.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:22 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost me too luna! i think about that quite a lot actually.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:22 (twenty-one years ago)

You're only worried about (a) because you care about (b).

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Which, BTW, is completely understandable, right, and noble.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:23 (twenty-one years ago)

errrr no, i've been sexually active for about 12 years (i'm 28).

Oh, sorry, I misread you post.

Kenan, how long have you been with her? Things might take time to develop, but usually the love part should help.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:25 (twenty-one years ago)

(b) breaks my heart. at least it would if I had one.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas -- At this date... three years and four months. Long enough for whatever was going to develop to develop. I'm just worried about hanging around so long that hatred and resentment develop.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, Luna, I'm sure it'll happen to you again.

My problem seems not to be that I don't fall in love, but that I fall in love with persons who only "love me as a friend".

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Luna, Jesus. Shut up. Weren't you just talking yesterday about having kids and loving them eternally? Yeah, you're so heartless. I could stand to borrow some of your heart.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay Kenan, now I see your point.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess I'm just being crabby. I'm sick and I'm tired and I'm lonely and I'm so sick and tired of being lonely. If Adolf Hitler can have a girlfriend, why can;t I find someone to love me?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Luna, Jesus. Shut up.

That was a bit abrasive, wasn't it?

Luna, you are not heartless. You are warm and understanding and forgiving and loving. I don't understand why you would ever think yourself heartless, but you have my email address if you ever want to expand on that in private.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it wasn't abrasive, you're right, I should shut up.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

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