NAMING RIGHTS THREAD: Liverpool really won't win the Premiership 2010-2011

It also feels like every time Berba gets a hat trick the discussion goes thusly - Berbatov was great today obviously but lets talk about Rooney.

and really, I don't think there has ever been a Golden Age of UK punditry to which we can fondly look back. The cliche and parochialism is as ever-present as it is in every other manifestation of the national psyche.

Yes - I proposed Savage/Shearer as the ideal pairing a while back to no enthusiasm. Delighted to have one convert.

O'Neill / Shearer / Robbie Williams?

can't decide if that's the best or worst production of The Caretaker ever

MotD: West Ham's booked striker was booked again for big celebration, sent off, EFC equalized.

Shearer fumed that it was 'ridiculous' etc.

funny thing is, though Shearer sounds passionately opinionated in a way, I don't think he really is - I think he decides he'd better take an opinion, and then gets as worked up as he can about it

I think he's wrong. Everyone knows that provocative celebration etc (eg taking off shirt, which the player didn't do) gets a booking. The player had been booked. He should have obeyed that rule that you see managers trying to enforce from the touchline at these moments when teams get a late goal: keep your head, get back, let's protect this now, etc. Instead he wanted to jump around flamboyantly. He should have known he'd get booked.

I think you're slightly missing the point. Shearer was fuming that the rule itself is ridiculous. Obviously the referee was technically correct to give the player another booking, he was just following the rules, but this rule is stupid. Why shouldn't he run to his fans to celebrate the goal (which seemed to be a late winner away from home for a team staring relegation in the face)? Why should that be considered 'provocative'? It's hardly the equivalent of Adebayor running the entire length of Eastlands to celebrate in front of the Arsenal fans when he scored for City last season. He didn't go to the Everton fans, he didn't speak to the Everton fans, he didn't gesture to the Everton fans. If they're going to be provoked by him celebrating the goal with the West Ham fans, they're just as likely to be provoked by him celebrating the goal on the pitch with his team mates. In fact, they're rather more likely to be upset about the goal itself than the celebration, so maybe away teams should be banned from scoring.

There definitely seems to have been an effort by Keys/Gray/Sky to reassert the English game as being the pinnacle of world football since the World Cup; the number of times they've talked about 4-4-2, kind of trying to convince themselves that it's the only way to play, Gray talking about how much he likes it during the Spurs-Utd game last week because it allows teams to go out there and give it a go or something. Keys: "Is that a victory for 4-42?" etc.

It's pretty rare for anyone to criticise a rule xp rather than fetishise its application. I mean, I basically agree with him for once, I just wish they would do the same for other rules instead of just parroting 'if he raised his hands he's got to go' for some innocuous incident.

Anyway, in the circumstances Piquionne's idiocy is totally the point - it's not like the rule is remotely obscure, everyone knows that's a booking.

Yes, they should know that they'll get booked for taking their shirt off or for hugging the fans, but... I've never scored a goal in front of 40,000 people, but I'm guessing it feels pretty amazing, and that the last thing on your mind is going to be "Shit, better not over-do cos I'll get booked". On the two occasions I scored for my Sunday league team, both gorgeous strikes from outside the box by the way, my mind went blank. I got such a buzz it was incredible. So goodness knows what it's like to score in that kind of environment!

How ironic that Keys' first word just now was "Unsackable".

Obviously the production staff must think as much of Gray and Keys as most of us do, for the tape to be passed onto the media. This isn't the first time either, is it?

On the two occasions I scored for my Sunday league team, both gorgeous strikes from outside the box by the way

Are you Raul Meireles?

lol, more of a Didi Hamann.

Keys on Theo:
http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/820887-richard-keys-mocks-theo-walcott-live-on-sky-after-thinking-his-mic-was-off

There is this classic Keys moment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7gCYAtmYSI
He does seem like a deeply unpleasant man

Thought I'd finally be able to watch a Blackburn game without having to put up with Allardyce's stupid gurning visage. Lo and behold Sky have him in the studio. Fuckers.

Have I ever told ILE my Richard Keys story? It is incredible.

do it now

Waiting expectantly.

Btw didn't Mark Clattenburg have a bald spot a couple of years ago? He now seems to have a full head of hair. Very mysterious.

A female friend of mine got chatted up in Manchester by Richard Keys and Geoff Shreeves, the night before some game at Old Trafford. Keys was putting in most of the work, asking her if she had a boyfriend whether she loved him, etc. When she replied yes, he asked her who he supported, and she said it was Everton. Keys rolled his eyes and went "oh god, a Scouser. I bet he's called Dave. Dave the Thief."

She then asked them what time they needed to be at Old Trafford for the game the next day. Keys responded "wake me up at 8am and we should be alright". He then started going off on a long rant about lesbians, including the line "why do lesbians use strap-ons? I mean, what's the point?"

Possibly sensing this wasn't going well, Keys then started haranguing Geoff Shreeves to call Jamie Redknapp and get him down from his hotel room, going "you'll talk to us if Jamie's here, won't you?" They invited her to dinner with them and she replied that she already had a reservation at a restaurant over the road. Richard Keys responded "I bet you just love meat". At which point she choked on her drink and Geoff Shreeves chipped in with "choking eh? I've got some cream for that".

And loads of other filth I've forgotten.

It is wholly satisfying to have ones low opinion of someone so completely vindicated.

dave the thief.

That's almost ... beautiful, in its way. I wonder how 'Jamie' feels about playing wingman?

"choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that". "choking eh? I've got some cream for that".

Clattenburg you muppet.

haha aye, who takes wba penalties btw? i've a fiver on odemwingie to score any time. so if it's him fffffuuuu clattenburg.

also, brunt is a POS, haven't seen him do anything all game except stray passes and getting caught in possession.

So Matt, did she shag them in the end?

and if so, was it right out of the top drawer?

and did they take a bow son?

i wonder if being really gross and disrespectful via horrific innuendos qualifies as 'negging'.

dunno if we've covered this itt but currently 6 glaswegian epl managers :)

repping the g-town

If anything my feeling is there used to be more than that

Permission to post that story on another forum please, Matt?

Go for it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/thingummy99/Picture2-5.png

And doesn't he just look it?

Thanks Matt. Let's know if you remember that filth!

dunno if we've covered this itt but currently 6 glaswegian epl managers :)

Owen Coyle's from Paisley. Also Alex McLeish is from Barrhead which isn't technically Glasgow either. But six from Glasgow & surrounding is OK, I suppose.

Keane from cumbernauld too I suppose.

Richard Keys

His job is to sit around watching football, he's got the hairiest hands in television and he plays air guitar. While interviewing Richard Keys and his wife Julia, Small Talk ends up in his lap to stop him being caught by the fuzz

................

What about books?
[Laughs heartily, Small Talk is not sure why] I'm not big on books. My wife bought me a book for my birthday the other day. I'll call you back in a few years and tell you what it was about. [More laughing, Small Talk is still nonplussed] What was it, Julia? What? It's called Where the Soldiers Come From. It's got Mel Gibson in it. The film, that is, not the book. It's about Vietnam.

Julia Keys, pretty blonde wife of Sky TV's Mr Soccer Richard Keys, says she is not the "other woman" in Gill Faldo's sad little suburban tennis love triangle.

am starting to wonder if he really was inspirational to the creation of Alan Partridge. "Dave the Thief" is a total Partridgism.

I hope Julia isn't reading this thread

it's best she knows

couldnt be less interested in how badly behaved richard keys is in nightclubs tbph

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Sky-Sports-Presenters-Richard-Keys-And-Andy-Gray-Criticise-Female-Referees-Off-Air/Article/201101415908957?lpos=UK_News_First_Home_Article_Teaser_Region_1&lid=ARTICLE_15908957_Sky_Sports_Presenters_Richard_Keys_And_Andy_Gray_Criticise_Female_Referees_Off-Air

Sky Sports "apology" for sexism comes with huge "IS FOOTBALL A MAN'S GAME?" poll.

NOT THAT KIND OF SEXIST

MORE LIKE SEXIEST, AMIRITE?

from young guns, which tbh is the website with the most accurate transfer rumours i know of*:

Arsène Wenger opened talks with Southampton on Sunday afternoon, but contrary to reports in a selection of English newspapers, both clubs are yet to formally agree on anything. However, Oxlade-Chamberlain has privately told friends and family he is only interested in moving to North London. His proud Dad agrees with that choice.

“Arsenal, with the manager there, the way they play and how they develop players, I think they are the ideal choice.”

Arsenal are happy to match the South Coast clubs £10 million valuation, but they are still negotiating over the up front price and how much will follow in installments. Wenger confirmed nothing had been agreed, but remains hopeful.

“We need an agreement with Southampton and we need an agreement with the player. We are not the only ones on his case, but we try as hard as we can.”

*of course it helps when you mostly only write about 16 year olds Arsenal have on trial.