Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

This suggestive selling is about to completely chase me away from Caribou Coffee. They just added breakfast sandwiches and have been really adamant about the hard sell. My conversation this morning after ordering my coffee:

Barista: Would you like a breakfast sandwich too?
Me: No thanks, just the coffee.
B: Are you sure? They're really good.
M: I'm sure they are, but no thanks.
B: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! You should get one.
M: Nope, it's okay. (in my head: SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T WANT A DAMN BREAKFAST SANDWICH)

That's over the line. And you would thnk they'd know better than to push coffee customers in the morning, lol

I had a clerk at JC Penny's try to upsell me their company's credit card. "You'll save five dollars today!"

I said no, I didn't need another credit card and her haughty reply was "If you apply for one, I GET A BONUS."

"I'm sorry that they tie your bonus to the credit card but I need more debt like I need a hole in the head so go peddle your bullshit somewhere else sister"

^ woman after my own heart

My supervisor at Best Buy told me he didn't mind us throwing gaming accessories in peoples carts. I mean not sneaking them in there, but discreetly putting it in while telling them why they needed it for "optimal gaming experience".

They also had different store types, used by a codename. Iirc if you were a "Ray" store, you focused more attention and tave preferential service to those o the more wealthy side...there was another type for "soccer moms", etc. My store naturally catered to people with money. They essentially wanted us to profile customers.

That and the idiotic ad campaign they ran where they had a white dude on one cutout, black dude on the other, both with genres of music stereotypical to their race written on their faces convinced me I worked for a shit company.

target is famous for this one...would you like to open a red card and save 5% on your shopping. Yes why not, i just bought a 12 pack of soda for $3.99 i would love to save 5%. FUCK OFF.

When I work on a farmer's market vegetable stall my up-sell is not annoying but I stick to things like the garlic bulbs and herbs they might have forgotten. Also, we know our customers well enough to stash things for them lest we run out before they arrive.

Back in MN I noticed Caribou Coffee breakfast sandwiches are made with turkey bacon and turkey sausage and that's a deal-breaker/excuse to make the person stop suggesting breakfast right there. #vom

I love that FYE tries to sell repacement plans on cds...like if scratched within two years.

Yes let me pay two extra dollars for this already overpriced cd to insure my valuable cd that I can't possibly know how to take care of

Approximately a quarter of the pistachios in this eight ounce bag are unopened or have a slight millimeter mocking gape along the side. To be thwarted by a nut.

Gnggghhh I hate that.

2) iphone autocorrecting apple's fucking 'i' words so you always look like some pedantic fanboy writing iPhone, iPod, iPad, etc.

THIS. I'm surprised it doesn't remove the word 'the' in front of those devices tbh.

I just listened to a call where the caller said "I don't want to ask your advice or nothin', but isn't the option I chose the best one for me since I'm single?"

Priceline near work, EVERY time I bought something, even a $2 packet of mints, would do this:

'Do you have a Priceline card?'
'No'
'Do you want one?'
'No'

They know now and they don't ask me anymore, which is good because I was about an inch away from stabby when they stopped.

Re the point y'all're making about corporate upselling: the receipt always passively-aggressively says 'YOU COULD HAVE EARNT 3 PRICELINE POINTS'

Oh have I done loyalty cards in this thread?

DO IT

LOYALTY CARDS

lol

The reason that stuff makes me angry is partly that I start to think about the economics of it and I think about how they could probably give slightly lower prices to everyone instead, but I'm being forced to make this choice of either mildly degrading myself for savings or paying a higher price than the people who have the cards.

Mandatory pitches (loyalty cards, store credit cards, double meat on your sandwich, etc.) are basically a way of keeping the masses against each other imo.

Also about carting a million of these bastards everywhere with you. If it's the local barista and you go there three times a day, fine, but if it's some sandwich shop that you visit once a month it's ridiculous.

That reminds me -- every website now having a "registration" with a login and password. How the fuck am I supposed to remember my login and password for a concert ticket vendor or some random foreign newspaper?

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh and when some twat on radio/the telly says 'for more information log on to the web site' EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NO ACTUAL LOGGING IN. FUCK FUCK FUCK GWAGWHAHAHHAHHH

omg I hate that

Do think that's at least partly from when people had dial-up and had to "log on" to being connected to the internet at all? I wonder that sometimes.

I think it's just dense people trying to sound knowledgeable, like when they 'download' a document to the printer.

(yes I'm being harsh but waaambulance)

Saw the most IA thing last night at OSH (hardware store)

A display of paint chips for one brand or another...one set of colors grouped under the heading "OPULANCE"

Seriously?

have had at least 10 friends of mine in the last 15 years think "Bobert" is a hilarious nickname for me........and all of em think they're the first who's ever done it :/

Penny for your thoughts...Miss Moneypenny...uh huh its more hilarious after the millionth time

i've ended up as jimbo eventually at every workplace.. i don't even register it anymore

Moneypenny is a million times better than shags/shagga/shaggy though so I shouldn't complain

one kid gave me the nickname Marvin in middle school because for whatever reason he thought that was my name for two weeks.

I hate being put on hold waiting for tech support when my internet connection is down, and the hold music is regularly interrupted by a pre-recorded suggestion that most of my questions can be answered on the website.

Oh, also! Once I called the same line (AT&T) and was put on hold for so long I tried to find an alternate line while I waited. Which I successfully did. An actual person on the second line answered after a few rings and sounded really helpful. Then they asked where I was calling from and they told me I had to call my local toll free number. I did and was put on hold for 30+ minutes again. So I called back that second line on my cell, got a person quickly once again, but when they tried to pawn me off to another number I actually pleaded (as in "please! PLEASE!") with them to just connect me to a human being. And they did! So at least there was a happy ending.

^ made at&t's 'irrationally helpful' thread

and the hold music is regularly interrupted by a pre-recorded suggestion that most of my questions can be answered on the website.

I can get that being annoying, but you'd be suprised how many ppl ring up - and tie up the line so you're waiting on hold forever - because they need help with totally dumb shit like how to attach files to email in outlook express, or how to get to google.

And those same people would honestly know how to figure that out from a website? It's amazing that some people can find the help line number.

oh hai Facebook. thank u for ur advertisement, I am more than excited to havet he opportunity to meet "Black Metal chicks" online. only prob is...black metal chicks don't look anything like the two chix u posted. i'd wank to them.

problem is most black metal chicks wear black lipstick, weigh 93 pounds, enjoy conversations with Odin, and don't bathe. much like their black metal dude brethren. so...PASS.

I feel like I've missed some acute sociogical observations by having my status always listed as "married" during the Facebook era.

agreed!

one kid gave me the nickname Marvin in middle school because for whatever reason he thought that was my name for two weeks.

― i love tampon spaceship (San Te), Saturday, 22 January 2011 13:21 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_lLsdaCVk3Kk/SCOoVlxPzxI/AAAAAAAASVU/dEHzFbCnMaM/s320/TheOffice_Andy.png

local Lenscrafters always wants to stop you and ask "how may we help you", even if you're clearly headed back to the doctor's office. kinda like "ey I know the way there, been here several times before, in a hurry, so don't make me stop and talk to you too!"

I feel like I've missed some acute sociogical observations by having my status always listed as "married" during the Facebook era.

― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 23 January 2011 02:52 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Friend of mine changed hers from 'married' to 'it's complicated' for a lark, and loads of people were all 'omg are you all right?? what happened???' etc.

She changed it back to 'married' to shut people up, but a new lot started with the 'oh you're married??? congratulations!!!!' She gave up at that point.

haha that's why you should just hide teh status. I did for a while.

I had a small bit of trauma to my ribs recently and finally saw a doctor about it yesterday.

He gave a prescription for some stronger-than-the-otc version of Alleve and I picked it up, paying my $10 co-pay.

And when I got home, Sunny reminded me that I could have just as easily bought a regular bottle of Alleve and taken double the dosage.

Here's why I don't like doctors. It's not like we're talking whiskey proofs here or anything.

Chinese restaurant lazy susan etiquette. People who put the tea pot back on it such that the handle sticks out over the edge, so that the next time someone turns it it collides with water glasses, etc on the table. Same thing with the serving spoon over the edge. And people who spin it too fast causing things to tip over or fly off (don't know if I've actually seen this but it's been close). And people who always leave a little bit on a nearly empty serving plate; just take all the rest and free up some space!

btw waiters the time not to put in a hiatus in visiting the table is when I'm ready to pay the check

(I was a mediocre waiter in that sometimes I half-assed it but I always got this part right!)

leaf blowers
leaf blowers
leaf blowers

YES

FUCK YOUR STUPID LEAVES