Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

xxxp tbf the guy operating the toll booth was probably like "shouldn't you be back underneath the bridge?"

"a White Company button". Other batshit columnist-trolls just don't have that attn to detail.

If only ghouls could pay tolls with White Company buttons, the world would be a safer place

I head up the hill towards Clifton, the leafy part of the city. It’s quieter now, and darker. I find Tesco, and go in. I almost buy that upmarket pizza; the choice tells me Jo wanted a lovely life, something above the ordinary.

But anyone who buys from the Tesco Value range deserves to be shot like a rabid dog, obviously.

I love the flatness of her moral and mental universe, like there's an unordered list of Bad Things in her head that includes:

- ponies getting ill
- not having cash when you need it
- girls brutally murdered, body dumped in woods
- men leaving underwear on floor when they live in your house/in washbasket when they don't

At what point does the article go "shit, this thing's still on!"

dunno why you guys bother with this bollocks tbqh

Because it's funny?

I'm not, I'm just reading this thread.

They might be making it all up as far as I know...

well then keep on delivering enough page hits to keep paul dacre supplied with filipino comfort women for the rest of his natural life

I'm reading it via a blog to avoid exactly that but I think it's a weak argument anyway. I don't think the liberal-outrage vote is that significant a proportion of the Mail's 40m page views a month.

well it must supply some proportion eh

liz jones is batshit insane, which is why her presence is nowhere near as offensive as, say, littlejohn. or for that matter almost every other mail piece where their warped morality is inserted into both news and features as a matter of course - was gonna say insidiously but it's far too bludgeoning for that.

That Daily Mash parody is great

I don't have £5 and try tossing a Kraft cheese single and a Michael Bublé CD into the toll booth. It doesn't work.

The lane is narrow. I can’t see how a car stopped here and a man struggled with a body without being beeped at and
told to get out the way, as I was.

The line before this one is vital to our understanding of Liz...

I’d have expected the cars to slow down here to show respect but they sped past, carrying people on their way home from work.

People don't even rubberneck anymore, what the fuck is wrong with people?

http://newsthump.com/2011/01/17/liz-jones-urged-to-recreate-last-24-years-of-elizabeth-fritzls-captivity/

The Mash one is terrific.

I got the feeling the world is starting to forget Liz, that she'll become just another thumbnail on the Daily Mail website, along with Peter Hitchens, Jan Moir and that fucking lunatic Melanie Phillips.

I essentially think the Daily Mash sucks and is not funny but they have improved over time to the extent that they will occasionally hit a treble 20 and that was one of those moments

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1348207/Gay-couple-win-1-800-Christian-hotel-owners-refused-double-room.html

Mrs Pilkington, a devout Christian who says she ‘understands the issues’ because her son is gay, has treated around ten patients using the controversial Sexual Orientation Change Efforts programme over the past decade. She said she wanted to help ­others who were in a ‘similar place’ to her 29-year-old son who, she insisted, was ‘heterosexual. He just has a homosexual problem’.

lol crazy pants

heterocide imo

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5121/5369140647_4a7109696f_z.jpg

look closely at the tattoo on the right forearm of the guy on the left in the mail's cartoon about the gay couple who got turned away from a b&b. because obviously *they're* the real nazis.

i can only see squiggles but lol at how the rights depiction of homosexuals has gone from dandys to biker thugs. where did that come from?

oh wait i see it now. looooool wtf daily mail

thought the old dear at reception was a bloke for a minute, which made the whole thing even more wtf

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Jan/Week3/15899706.jpg

Imagining this girl crawling into playgroup wearing a top hat and toting a cigarillo and calling her playmates 'old chum'.

'What ho, school master! Is it time for elevenses?'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1348564/British-mothers-toddlers-banned-council-funded-playgroup-immigrants.html

What girl? (Page has obviously updated)

It hasn't. On the right.

Couldn't bring myself to read that thing all the way through, but surely the point is that the nursery is specifically funded to help immigrants. WTF is their problem with that?

The answer to your question (as with most questions in this thread) is IT'S THE DAILY MAIL

^ truthbomb

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1349489/The-Christian-hotelier-guilty-gay-bias-looks-set-lose-home-asks-So-whos-really-persecuted.html

They won't "lose" their "home". They might go out of business and have to sell their *hotel*, which they own and is probably worth at least a million.

As usual, the wrong answer gets upvoted and the right answer gets downvoted.

RED ARROW 1486:
The hoteliers are conducting a commerical business and must abide by the laws of the land regarding discrimination. The correct decision was made.

GREEN ARROW 997:
I hope that Mrs Bull appeals to the Euro court. This is an outrageous affront to their civil right to self determination. What ever happened to a shopkeeper's right to "refuse service to any one"? Every business has rules about who can and cannot be served, and in this case, I believe she was well within her rights, given her religious beliefs, to refuse service.

I'm sure the money that the hotel owners got from the DM for their story covers the £3600 fine.

I'mma start a hotel and refuse any godbotherers in. I'll have Anton La Vey bibles and a deck of thoth tarot in every bedside drawer.

The comments (and the distribution of green and red arrows) make me want to hurt people.

xpost, what Stan said

GREEN ARROW 997:
I hope that Mrs Bull appeals to the Euro court.

hahaha @ the daily-mailers suddenly loving the idea of the european court of human rights to dictate british law when it suits their purpose.

I liked the green arrow one about "does this mean I'm allowed to order a steak in a vegetarian restaurant now?". YES THAT'S EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

oh I just can't wait for the Liz Jones article where she goes and stays there... /sarcasm

and tries to pay with buttons

"This was the lovely room in which those heathen sodomites wished to carry out their heinous ungodly activities"

"Chymorvah is a small, loss-making hotel, which charges £43 per person per night. Yet the Bulls did not go into this business to make a fortune, but to offer Christian hospitality."

If you sell your product/service at less than cost, you are going to go out of business. The 1800 fine is not the point w/r/t this, i feel.

http://www.chymorvah.co.uk/index.html

Don't see any mention of their Christian beliefs and policy being a selling point. Which you would expect if they are imposing their Christianity on guests, no?

Yet the Bulls did not go into this business to make a fortune, but to offer Christian hospitality.

!!!

I'm sure the money that the hotel owners got from the DM for their story covers the £3600 fine.

any idea how much they would have received? what's the going rate for a hateful daily mailbomb?