NAMING RIGHTS THREAD: Liverpool really won't win the Premiership 2010-2011

FFS HUTTON

1629: Wayne Rooney finds himself in space on the right, but can only drag a hopeless, aimless ball across the front of Heurhelho Gomes' goal. Oh dear, oh dear. Watching that back on the replay, you have to think his whole family must be crying with rage at his performance as they watch this, quietly wishing to themselves that he had been killed when he was a younger man.

nice from dean, reminding us which team is the big club here

FFS EKOTTO

every time one of the hapless duo do something a professional defender would never consider, i feel i should do this.

good save gomes

1637: ROONEY STARE! MAN UNITED Wayne Rooney looks at a section of Tottenham supporters and his face instantly causes several thousand people to melt, killing them instantly. This is one of the worst disasters ever to happen at a football game. Try telling that to Alex Ferguson though! He will be absolutely delighted.

it's the kind of thing, that when one of your boys does it it's genius brian

I hope he gets away with it.

lol

A+++ LG
xp

wish crouch would count his legs before getting the ball ffs

Typical Germans harassing the ref

we'll see gnevver yet

whic isnt a good thing, at least foreign rafael can be booked by an fa employee

rafael's number is falling off. you'd think nike could instill some sort of production quality into their sweatshop made clothes

1638: Things getting a little feisty here, as Patrice Evra and Raefael surround Aaron Lennon and beat him into a coma with Luka Modric's left shin. I should point out that Modric's leg had already been severed during an earlier clash with Michael Carrick. Mike Dean facing a job to keep a lid on things at the moment - still goalless at White Hart Lane.

When was Carrick last any good? 2007?

1643: Noel Gallagher appears to be in the stands. However it's not a happy day for the former Oasis man, as he appears to have soaked himself in urine and is ranting delusionally about a noise nobody else can hear. Try telling thtat to Alex Ferguson though! The Man United boss will be delighted.

six months before leaving us, maybe, then once against roma

1645: A fire engulfs most of the away fans end and a tannoy announcement urges fans to head towards the exit. Try telling that to Alex Ferguson though! The Man United boss is hard of hearing.

mike dean books the stadium announcer for clear attempt to gain advantage by preventing mass slaughter

Ekotto diving in like a madman on the wing

also books palacios for being in a utd player's way while on a run

exactly like a madman

that was a shocking booking

ok genuinely how is that not a foul on vdv ffs

refs/fa so fucking shameless, we need a thread.

fa quickly add 'cunting sandwich' to the legal challenges section of the rulebook to account for that vdv cunting.

vidic would be some man for the gaa i reckon

Ekotto never sprints back into position, he always jogs.

where a lot of his tackles wouldn't even need a pathetic ref to make them ok!

1651: The game's gone off the boil a bit in the last ten minutes, but there's plenty of entertainment off the field, as fighting breaks out between separate factions of heavily armed ultras near the commentary booth. A stray grenade lands next to TV commentator Martin Tyler's foot, and unfortunately for him - it's liiiiiive. Tyler explodes in a shower of bone and gore, drawing ironic cheers from both sets of supporters. A terrible tragedy for Tyler and his family, but I have to say the look on Andy Gray's face is priceless.

lol

haha

a THUDD-esque ping to that long Dawson pass.

haha

thread has been great this weekend

1658: The game becomes scrappy, prompting a discussion in the office about which biscuit we ate most of in 1997. Custard creams are my vote. Try telling that to Man United boss Alex Ferguson though. You can bet there won't be any biscuits featuring in his halftime teamtalk!

come the end of the game someone's gotta remember to preserve all of the live updating in footcelsior for posterity.

^ reminiscent of the 1994 wc spain-korea 'grandmother's cat' conversation xp

I'm enjoying it, and I'm so tone-deaf to the jokes that it took me a few repeats to realize which ones WERE jokes.

what was that one? x-post to dmac

well tbh there's subtlety to a lot of them for the first line or two, i'm left wondering myself sometimes

giggs fitness!

1659: Half-time Tottenham 0-0 Manchester United
BBC Sport's Phil McNulty at White Hart Lane: "Spurs just shading it but as tight as it gets. Harry Redknapp and Sir Alex Ferguson will demand greater quality in attacking positions after the break."

it was one of the 2.30 ko games, it ended up a crackin 3-2 game with the korean fans going crazy

nm visitors relate later

hm, McNulty must know what you're up to and is now aiming for 'so mundane as to be unparodyable'.

"Spurs may be the home team but a word for Manchester United who have gallantly agreed to play away from Old Trafford. Harry Redknapp and Sir Alex Ferguson will have been thinking of the half-time team talks, but ultimately on a cold day in North London it's all about Wayne Rooney's continued reluctance to assume the mantle of United Legend that his talent deserves. Whether it's a dignified refusal to take centre stage or his bashfulness in scoring the goals he is certainly capable of, we can be sure that the second half will bring further intrigue".

i have actually checked the bbc liveblog to check whether some of these are real, which just makes them 10 times better

17:14 David Beckham looking on to see his team needing a creative spark. It is that vision that should hopefully convince Mr. Capello to cast aside his foreign ways and let him get the caps he needs to make England great again.

ok maybe dmac has a point abt this ref