Craigslist hilarity

Also, Clipse have a song called "Grindin."

There, now I have explained the entire context of this joke. Are we happy now?

The hipster grifter is out of stir?

Yeah, I know "Grindin'", I even have that Clipse album. Apparently I didn't recognize them from the pic though, probably because the album sleeve only has cartoon pictures of them. Nor did I know they were "pfork music" - maybe I should read Pitchfork sometimes, I thought they were an indie rock site or something.

classic tuomas

SWAG - $25 (Downtown)

Date: 2011-02-17, 1:37AM EST
Reply to: sale-x7wkp-2218957✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧ [Errors when replying to ads?]

SWAG.

I got so much SWAG, i even have extra for sale! On Craigs List even.

This is an ad for SWAG consultation services.
If yr ready to step it up and quit being a super boring guy lyke everyone else I can help u out.
I can step into your zone (even UN-SWAGGIFIED, as to not scare people unaccustomed to hi LVLZ of SWAG) like a SWAG NINJA,
and assess your areas in urgent need of SWAGGIFICATION.

You can be assured of making more money, enjoying the company of more & better women, and catching more & bigger bass when u go fishing.

Can trade services for a MacBook Pro (unibody only) or sum good Car Stereo Speakers.

Location: Downtown
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/bar/2218957583.html

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/tfr/2296632021.html

Looking for Snail or Slug for documentary

I am a filmmaker doing a documentary about my dog's reaction to other animals. I am looking for a snail or a slug. I work all day and don't have time to try and find a slug in the woods. If you know where I could find a slug of snail it would be most appreciated. There will be no harm inflicted to animal I can assure you that. My dog is very timid and we are trying to study what characteristics of other animals make her that way.

thanks in advance!!!

http://i54.tinypic.com/1g632q.gif

http://i.imgur.com/QXJov.jpg

http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/roo/2325730956.html

http://i.imgur.com/yIxv3.png

omg that.

trying to sell a piece of furniture for $75 leads to people offering me $20, $30, itunes gift cards, asking me "where exactly do you live?" and nothing else, sending me their number and saying "call me to talk about item", quizzing me about if i could deliver it (ad says "pickup only"), offering a bookshelf for trade (i am selling a bookshelf), etc.

Weird. I have had all very good, easy, and quick transactions when I've sold on CL.

I've never heard the phrase "pussy holster" before.

creepy response: "where on (x) st do you live?"

(i did not mention that i lived on this street)

i've had a few responses to ads like yours, omar, but not a lot.

http://neversleep2.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/dntblv.jpg?w=575&h=306

Don't get it...?

1000 GB would be a terabyte of memory, which craigslist compaq computers are not going to have

and the context that the above is the entirety of the email i received in reply also makes it highly unlikely that this is what he is selling

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/dmg/2494580889.html

Take out Corn Rows in my Head (Brooklyn Bensonhurst)

Date: 2011-07-14, 6:11PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-bncm4-2494580✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧ [Errors when replying to ads?]
responsible, reliable person needed to take corn rows out of my head - willing to give you $30.00 come to my apt in bensonhurst. Respond with name and phone number. suzi

OK, it's not hilarious, just garbage, but wow

http://i.imgur.com/qjefN.png

seems very much like a closet case smoking gun

like, yeah, that's really macho to do "artistically" arranged decoupage

Ha! Didn't even think of that.

I gave some thought to trolling that guy, possibly in person.

just us guys having a collaging party with pics of pretty ladies, no homo bro

my friend does these with gay porn

its pretty fun actually

my roommate and I made one in college- it was her idea and it was pretty addictive- we covered a long rectangular coffee table with a psychedelic National Geographic cut-up collage and then my bf coated it in boat varnish so it's a slick enough surface to use- turned out pretty cool

My friends (in a mostly hardcore-feminist household) plastered the toilet walls in their sharehouse with hardcore porn mag pages. It was... disconcerting to go to the loo there.

Hmm. I'm not allowed to paint my apartment, but maybe I don't have to resign myself to plain white walls.

There is a short scene in the movie The Loss of Sexual Innocence where a character goes to a bathroom gas station that is filled with torn up porn. Nothing happens besides him seeing the porn and leaving, but it's creepy.

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/rew/2464265874.html

This offer is not for everyone. Those of you who have saved every penny for most of your life to afford a down payment and currently work around the clock to make mortgage payments, I commend you on your efforts, but this post is not for you.

Do you own more than one property? Do you have so many rental homes with no mortgage payments, yet you still feel unfulfilled? Tired of your illegal tenants whining that there are rats in the walls? Have you always wanted your own dinosaur? Now is your chance my friend.

In exchange for one of your properties, I will be your personal dinosaur for one year. I will be at your beck and call, 24 hours a day, wearing a dinosaur costume. The type of dinosaur is negotiable. I can babysit your children (references upon request), scare the mailman, wash dishes, entertain and impress your guests, and much more. (No sex stuff though, sorry.) I will make realistic dinosaur sounds, eat what the particular dinosaur eats and maybe even sit on a fake dinosaur egg, if you are so inclined. I am well educated, fluent in English and French (as well as dinosaur), can play several musical instruments and have no criminal record or outstanding warrants.

All this and more. This is the only way you will ever have your pet dinosaur, and the only way I will ever be able to acquire a house in Vancouver.
Serious offers only please.

Thank you.

if you'd be my dinosaur, I could be your long lost pal

I can call you Betty (Ruble)
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al(losaurus)

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/sha/2549849730.html

It's kind of the honey-badger of roommate postings.

my friend posted it on her fbook, and i was like, "huh, what a douche....but probably a douche i could live with?"

Strangely...yes.

yeah that dude seems like he wouldnt even be in the bottom half of craigslist roommates

nonetheless, i would strangle this man within hours.

When I read that it reminded me of someone I went out with a long time ago so I had this self loathing "what was I thinking?" moment.

i can't help but kind of like this guy

Post Tucker Max.

As long as he's not playing guitar when I'm trying to sleep, I would be cool with it.

Lol @ aol and Forbes, though

You guys are nuts, this person sounds totally unbearable.

He sounds like a desperate douche. All his claims are too good to be true. He'll probably jack your stereo and food processor within days and you'll never see him again.

he probably collects his cum in a box he keeps next to his mattress.

"Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT? Of course you are!"

Dealbreaker

as long as "WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT" can be "FUCKIN NEVER" deal's back on

lol i love how this guy just keeps getting posts about him. after reading it a second time, i was like, "okay, no fucking way, i hate this guy." but i still find his eagerness and some of his language choices to be hysterical.

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/fuo/2505248081.html

that's pretty amazing.

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/roo/2549326673.html