TS: SHOWGIRLS vs. ROAD HOUSE

Road House probably just for the line: "I used to fuck guys like you in prison." Both these movies are pretty unwatchable sober.

Showgirls is on now.

hooray

Always a cause for celebration.

I am going to Las Vegas this summer and have already srsly started planning my trip around this film, more or less. I mean as it stands, my impression of Las Vegas comes directly from this film.

Also how the fuck do you chip your tooth on a Quaalude?

― mother cabrini maxwell (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 02:10 (6 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I read this the EXACT SECOND the dialogue was spoken!

I used to work backstage with a dance troupe.

About 95% of this film does not apply, but what's left, um, reminds me.

"How did you meet your man?"
"He was my OB/GYN; I punctured my cervix inserting a tampon"

Actually that is totally crass enough to have been actual dialogue from the film.

Also, a "response" of sorts from the dancers of Jubilee! at Bally's, which is apparently the last "Goddess"-type show left in LV :( File this under "Fucking DUH" or "Missing the goddamn point"

12 Inaccuracies in the Movie Showgirls

By the showgirls in Jubilee!
1. Nomi Malone wouldn’t be in a Las Vegas production because she
can’t sing (or act).
2. Showgirls do not live in trailers.
3. Showgirls aren’t discovered in strip bars.
4. Showgirls do not pimp themselves at conventions or trade shows.
5. Hotel owners do not throw lavish cast parties.
6. A lead dancer does not become a celebrity.
7. No one learns a show in a day.
8. Pushing someone down the stairs doesn’t get you a lead role—it
gets you fired.
9. Ice is used backstage to treat injuries, not to erect nipples.
10. Leaving rehearsal to go to Spago to drink champagne is generally
frowned upon.
11. Showgirls are not coke-sniffing, champagne-drinking lesbians.
12. Anyway, showgirls do not drink champagne backstage—we prefer
Jack Daniel’s!

I would also like to take this time to point out that there are no battles taking place in space and animals cannot talk.

Thank for you letting me know that showgirls do not live in trailers, do not become celebrities on the scale of Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson, and cannot learn an entire show in one day. Here, this whole time I thought this movie was funny because of the silly costumes!

I'd like to know how they can be so absolutely sure about the last two points.

Number seven: We used to learn/teach shows in a day. OK, they were mimed, and the dances were'nt exactly hi-energy, but still.

i guess it's a good thing Jubilee! wasn't the basis for Showgirls, woulda been sorta boring

Man! This film's longer than Citizen Kane!

Oh, and the 'moment' with KMc in't pool is very have you shagged ariane yet?

Number 8: I think this film just jumped the shark!

Yeah, sacking this now.

Don't you dare.

I'm off. nightnight

^^^Cannot believe this guy

So has anyone braved Showgirls 2 yet?

http://www.amazon.com/Showgirls-Exposed-Marc-Vorlander/dp/B004KKYA7A/

This trailer is like a synaesthesia of the shittest chillwave:

http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/showgirls-2/red-band-trailer-b

I never want to see this.

I don't think that has anything to do with the first one at ALL, not even loosely?

Doesn't look like it.

''In Paul Verhoeven's movie, the character Nomi spelled her name with an i at the end,'' says German director Marc Vorlander. ''In my movie, Nomy has a y at the end.''

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20402041,00.html

Showgirls 2: The Nomy Song

She came from outer space
Had guys come on her face

"Smithers, get me Verhoeven--or at least his German non-union equivalent!"

I would also like to take this time to point out that there are no battles taking place in space and animals cannot talk.

THAT WE KNOW OF

Hi.

Yeah, this jumped the shark just after Kyle Mac said "Let's take a gamble", up to then it had been fine.

I watched past that point, and maybe because I knew what was going to happen having read upthread, but all the particular story elements looked like they were being racked up ready, and also the whole "You're a star" biz was overfanciful.

The 12 'inaccuracies' are funny, they are trying to generalise, whereas who can say that there are no showgirls living in trailers, or are lesbs, or like coke, or champg. And "she'd never get into a show she can't act or sing" had me, yeah, showgirls have never bitched about someone else's lack of talent right? really? no?

aaaaaaaaaaaanyway:

Convince me that the last 30 mins had something vital I missed. (It was 01:25 by then, and the film finished at 1:50)

did you make it to the hospital scene with gina gershon, i.e. one of the creepiest, weirdest scenes ever committed to film?

cannot imagine skipping the end of this movie fwiw

No, the exact moment was when "Rock star" walked into the party, Nomi was "ooh, nice to meet you" and he says something, her face falls, and yeah.... I can guess how it plays from here.

well if you knew what was coming i don't blame you for missing the deeply, deeply unpleasant scene that follows

I suppose the scene was meant as a "hey, this is not a "Fabulous" world here" reality check/slap.

Particularly after the two from the strip-club had popped in to see her, and you see they're not bad people really..

"Even the biggest guy in the world can smash his knee and drop like a stone."

"How do ya' like havin' 'em?"

RIP Brad Wesley

http://i.imgur.com/oQvTG.jpg

http://gawker.com/5901364/so-weird-its-weird-showgirls-2-doesnt-suck

"I used to fuck guys like you in prison"

"You want to fight, dickless?" "Well, I sure ain't gonna show you my dick"

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/07/18/gina-gershon-on-killer-joe-tom-cruise-showgirls-bound.html

Gershon doesn’t talk much about her film career in her book, but in person, she dished about all her movies. She said she auditioned for Showgirls—which she thought would be more serious, like director Paul Verhoeven’s Dutch films, a modern-day retelling of All About Eve set in Las Vegas—for three months straight. She wore extra makeup in all of her meetings and lied that she was older to convince the studio she could handle the part of a weathered, diva bitch. When she got to the set, she realized she was making a different movie from the serious drama she had imagined. “I was hanging up by a rope looking down, going, Oh, my God, I’ve studied the classics. I want to do Greek theater. I want to do Chekov. What the fuck am I doing here?!”

She loves merkins so much that she even wrote a song about them that she hopes to one day perform for a Funny or Die music video.

This is an exceptionally sad sentence.

I think the more telling quote about Showgirls is: “I just thought, I’m going to camp it up and have a good time and still be good.”

I've given up on trying to convince people that Showgirls is awesome. They can keep Magic Mike.

I'll take both. The rest of the world can have Boogie Nights.

It'd be disingenuous to say Showgirls isn't "entertaining," but it's all downhill after "It must be weird not having anybody come on you." Also the Nicest Girl Gets Raped axiom is nauseating.

They really needed a George Sanders character too.

That would have been pretty cool, I agree. (And agreed on said axiom.)

but it's NOT a rich dissection of the Dream Factory; fuck, writers really push it sometimes.

I mostly felt sorry for Berkley and her, uh, naked performance, but Gina Gershon did a smooth Raquel Welch channelling Anne Baxter thing.

Damn if you're not right about Raquel, how did I miss that!