As my granny used to say.....

I call 'em swimmers.

to confuse matters further, i'm gonna drop a pikelet into the mix. pikelet = drop scone, yes?

also my mum (from cumbria) has always called a swimming costume a "cossie", and never set foot in nz/aus or had any relatives living there etc...

And beak for nose? Or neb?

Other things I've found myself saying today that I thought might fit in here: having a fly pint in the pub (as in a wee sneaky extra one that I won't admit to) - also various words that I don't think I have seen on this thread, glaikit (gormless - specifically used to describe Barry Ferguson this evening), wabbit (used to describe me after four nights of chronic insomnia), mawkit (used to describe about three-quarters of the Rangers team). Also ya fud = best childish insult ever, again aimed at Barry Ferguson (fud = fanny). Also fair scunnered\ = pissed off.

I'm a skyscraper wean; I live on the nineteenth flair;
But I'm no' gaun oot tae play ony mair,
'Cause since we moved tae Castlemilk, I'm wastin' away
'Cause I'm gettin' wan meal less every day.

Refrain:
Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty storey flat,
Seven hundred hungry weans'll testify, to that.
If it's butter, cheese or jeely, if the breid is plain or pan,
The odds against it reaching earth are ninety-nine tae wan.

On the first day ma maw flung oot a daud o' Hovis broon;
It came skytin' oot the windae and went up insteid o' doon.
Noo every twenty-seven hoors it comes back intae sight
'Cause ma piece went intae orbit and became a satellite.

On the second day ma maw flung me a piece oot wance again.
It went and hut the pilot in a fast low-flying plane.
He scraped it aff his goggles, shouting through the intercom,
'The Clydeside Reds huv giat me wi' a breid-an-jeely bomb'.

On the third day ma maw thought she would try another throw.
The Salvation Army band was staundin' doon below.
'Onward, Christian Soldiers' was the piece they should've played,
But the oompah man was playing a piece an' marmalade.

We're wrote away to Oxfam to try an' get some aid,
An' a' the weans in Castlemilk have formed a 'piece brigade'.
We're gonnae march to George's Square demanding civil rights
Like nae mair hooses over piece-flinging height

Which reminded me that skyting (which I would have spelt "skiting") is another excellent word. As I've said already, I use so many of these things in my everyday speech, I forget they aren't in common usage elsewhere.

(stripes of shit on your drawers)

Drawers meaning pants obviously...

I thought drouth was a thirst for a drink.

'Uh've an awfy drouth this mornin' ah'm goin' oot fur a wee curer'

i love this thread.

Drouth \Drouth\, n.
Same as Drought. --Sandys.

Another ill accident is drouth at the spindling of
corn. --Bacon.

One whose drouth [thirst], Yet scarce allayed, still
eyes the current stream. --Milton.

In the dust and drouth of London life. --Tennyson.

What about drawers? (normally pronounced 'drars')

a 'piece brigade'.

lol!

Dad, who grew up in a village in Northamptonshire, taught me his favourite childhood rhyme: "Ma's out, Pa's out, let's talk rude: pee po belly bum drawers!" Things that were rude in the early fifties, oh dear me.

My dear departed Granny used to tell me that I had 'Hauns like fireman's shovels'

Whenever he would hear the time being read out on the telly or radio, my Grandpa would repeat the time to himself by saying something like

'Three O'Clock and all's well, an Irishman drowned in the Clyde'

I've no idea where that came from (apart from being a bit racist of course) especially considering the not insubstantial irish blood in my family. I think it's a Paisley thing.

Baffies/Baffys are uber classic! My favourite ever expression.

'Yir ontae plums there!' - on a hiding to nothing, plums as in the lowest paid denominator of a fruit machine.

'Wur tea's oot!' - we are in trouble of some description, equivalent to leaving your XXXXX out in the wind I'm guessing.

'Staunin' up someone's arse' - being in their personal space, hurrying them up, etc.

Also ya fud = best childish insult ever

pish, ya dobber.

It's not racist, it's sectarian.

Aw, this is a steam train reference. My grandad was a fireman, before he became a driver.

Indeed, that was apparently a big problem in Paisley in days of yore, Proddy Irish fighting Fenian Irish and vice versa

Brass neck?

mate (sheepishly explaining some faux pas): "but I thought..."
granny "Thought?! You know what thought done? Thought ran efter a bin motor an' thought it wis a weddin'!"

A riddie perhaps?

Best I ever heard was a ned reffering to his nose as his Mozam - as in Mozambique....geddit?

Which meaning do you use?