Worst TV adverts of the moment

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at least it's not a case of product placement in the show itself

― $V£N! (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

The orange ads are fantastic, particularly the one where they give Spike Lee a baseball cap to wear.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

No, no, Vanish feature those horrible pushy ladies in pink shellsuits assaulting people with dirt and I don't like it.

Cillit bang adverts show DEFACEMENT OF THE COIN OF THE REALM!!! and therefore is subversivly cool.

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

something else about ads during CSI: they frequently advertise Canesten anti-thrush treatments halfway through. Target audience: yeasty ladies, ta very much.

The worst time to watch TV, advert-wise, is Channel 4 in the afternoons, around Countdown. Nothing but adverts for loan consolidation companies, ambulance-chasing solicitors, or devices to help you get out of the bath easier.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

some of the orange ads are funny (and i still laugh at the 'bob's your uncle' bit the american guy doesn't get), but the one with daryl hannah is just SO BAD and NOT FUNNY AT ALL.

perhaps because she's a crap actress, dunno.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

The Phones 4U adverts with the American guy are without doubt the worst television adverts I have ever seen, what exactly are they trying to do with these adverts? Everyone involved, from the people who commissioned them, to the people who made them, to the people who appear them should be fired - from a howitzer.

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Kill, kill, go out and kill, do it for Charlie

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

the one with the squeaky voiced chick ringtone thing. even worse than Crazy Frog.

― $V£N! (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

DON'T DISRESPECT THE FROG!

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

No. Kill him instead.

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

At least they blackbarred out his wee willie.

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I may be small,
I may be sweet,
But baby - I know how to move my feet.

Every time I hear the beat,
I just have to move my feet,
And it makes me wanna tweet,
TWEET-TWEET TWEET TWEET-TWEET-TWEET!

(or something)

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it wrong to say that I think Canesten would do a lot better if their slogan was "Itchy twat? - Try that!"

― Alix with an I ? (alix), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

They need a new name that, like Anusol, describes the area of application. "Vageze", maybe. "Cervicon" (too like a Dr Who enemy?).

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"No need to scratch your snatch with...."

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it's all about your daily digestive transit, and filling up your handbag with food, and then emptying it (which = VOMIT) at the end of the day.

or have we done that one?

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I especially like when they show that handbag one during "You Are What You Eat"!

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I love these too, especially the one with the megaphones.

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

You are (an) alien

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

The perfect advert would bring Michael Winner (and his mouse) into the Phones 4 U megaphone conversation which is interrupted by his Tweety the Chick ringtone.

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Work that horrible More Than dog, Lucky, in there, and you got a winner.

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

the wire shd put crazxy frog on the cover

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

With blacked-out winky or in full glory?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Wire wold do something clever and graphical to the winky not merely black it out - there'd be stroppy letters to the editor otherwise

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, but you're missing the best of all. 6Music now publicise themselves with an advert of Lammo. Lammo walks into 6Music with his record box. Lammo goes into the studio, puts a CD in the player (TKO by Le Tigre, I think), then sits grimly nodding along to it ENTIRELY ON HIS OWN. The advert closes with a shot of Lammo nodding along, entirely out of time, on his own, not smiling, and makes me realise that my teenage years really were a bit of a waste of time.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god, that ad genuinely terrified me the other night - Lamacq shuffles through shot not showing his face, shuffles about a bit more. Shot of record box. Shot of TERRIFYING DESSICATED STEVE REARING UP LIKE A HORSE'S SKELETON AND OH GOD WHAT IS HE SMILING? Eurgh, *shudder*. Give that man a pie.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

His voice makes me ill

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That Levi Shakespeare ad is not only annoying, but I think it totally misreads S as well. Isn't it from Midsummer Night's Dream where the dialog's taken from? With the girl being Titania and the bloke with the jeans being Bottom? In which case, are they saying that you'd only wear these jeans if you've had an evil spell cast on you, and ladies, only witchcraft will stop you finding people wearing these jeans repulsive?

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:42 (twenty-one years ago)

It's telling you your Bottom will look good in these jeans

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate that McDonalds one on at the moment with somebody talking about some special offer on in an 'amusing' 'foreign' accent, before eventually and inevitably finishing up "ba-da-ba-bah, I'm lovin' it". What the fuck kind of accent is it supposed to be? It seems to travel through Eastern Europe, up to Scandinavia, before alarmingly settling on Martin McGuiness.

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to think I'm partially responsible for the blacked out schlong in the Crazy Frog advert. Being the Old (before my time) man that I am, I complained to the Advertising Standards Agency. I was trying to get the ad banned cos, to be honest, it's the ring tone that pisses me off, not the winkie (though it was the last thing I wanted to see on a sunday morning with a hangover. The ASA told me 60 people complained, but it had not been upheld. Then, the ad appeared with the blacked out winkie! So I'm taking it as a victory. Go on, complain, the system works!

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate the ringtone, but to be honest the blacked-out-crazed-frog penis just adds insult to injury. Not that I have a strong desire to see animated frog genitalia, but it seems to be saying TEH MAN has deigned to spare us from offence by blacking out the previously unnoticed amphibian cock when all along it was the fucking noise that was driving everyone mad.

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I know. It was pretty disappointing. When I saw that blacked out cock I thought "That's probably just going to make it even more cool and popular." Urgh. But the cock wasn't unnoticed, it bothered the hell out of me. But I still have to change the channel when the advert comes on, so it didn't really help anything. :(

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

> The worst time to watch TV, advert-wise, is Channel 4 in the afternoons

five's afternoon films are, if anything, worse. they are all sponsored by Sterident and feature those annoying bookend ads with a cheetah who sounds like terry thomas making various teeth related jokes.

― koogs (koogs), Friday, 8 April 2005 07:12 (twenty-one years ago)

AAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

I have just remembered which advert provokes the SCREAMING RAGE THROWING THINGS AT THE TELEVISION RAGE:

"Hello Auntie!
"Kim Catrall!" (if it's really her niece is she really going to greet her by full name?)
"Why can't I find a decent MANG!?!?!?" (is this supposed to be lampooning Kim or her character?)
"Here, practise on this tea" (GARG GARG KILL KILL!!!) "Don't do that, Kim" (Didn't she just tell her to practise on the tea?!?!?

Words cannot describe how much I hate this advert.

― Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Monday, 11 April 2005 08:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, come on, Kim Catrall tossing off a packet of tea is the best thing ever.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 11 April 2005 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm amazed they didn't think of that in Police Academy.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 11 April 2005 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

interesting that lager companies and lad mag publishers go for exactly the same type. Affluent, but still ordinary blokes
Don't they go for £50 man? The Observer had an article last year or something about £50 man. He is the guy who always buys £50 worth of CDs when he goes into town. I think it's the same guy.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 11 April 2005 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

There are some CableVision (local cable Tv supplier) ads running here in Jersey City that set my teeth on edge. Each spot is a mock music video - complete with song title and credits - featuring some embarrasing performances by what I hope are Cablevision employees. There's the emo-singer songwriter sensitive dude, the jazz chanteuse, the chanteuse surrounded by some retarded "vocalese" guys, the works. These ads are wretched.

Then there's the car ad where the chubby test driver gets so excited driving he starts screaming with joy. Except his screams of joy are more like the screeches of a lust-crazed gibbon.

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Monday, 11 April 2005 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...

Two at the moment:
"Love the platforms, Bertie"
and
"Should have to Specsavers"

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate all Sonic ads.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

the new honda adverts - 'it's crazy wise. it's doolally obvious.' stop that. and focusing on the minute percentage of your cars / plants that don't pollute / are recycled is fooling nobody.

the other one, the one with the babies 'why can't technology be as simple as the box it comes in?', 'why can't phones last a month, i want to talk to all the girls'. ick.

the wax virgin adverts. odd that they have to add a hint of machismo into something so feminine.

― koogs (koogs), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The blacked out frog ones... Now it looks like he has an YNORMUS one!

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Stephen Fry has been whoring himself a bit too much lately. Orange and now Twinings tea where he seems to think we will believe the self styled cleverest man in Britain that he does not know how or when to drink Earl Grey Tea!

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever the bloody car one that's for people who are "still a bit rebellious". Look, you're buying a fucking 'nice little run around' you are not, nor ever have been, rebellious. Get. The. Fuck. Over. It.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:14 (twenty-one years ago)

nobby's nuts

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

The Volvic one with the stone age man who invents the wheel, the axle and, hence, the pole-dancing platform. Or maybe it's a subtle commentary on men with Stone Age attitudes to gender roles. Oh, hang on...it's not.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

It is! You sexist.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the Nobby's Nuts ad - anything that has Noddy Holder shouting at people is okay with me.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Michael Winner in drag.

And that damn ringtone ad that incessantly plays on ITV.

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Monday, 16 May 2005 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

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