Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

having seen the birds in Tight Fit, that is correct

Time to end the TV tax. Even the BBC news 'service' has become second rate compared with the internet which is free mostly. We get very little for the 3 billion pounds which is extorted from us under threat of imprisonment. Once a national institution to be proud of, it has now become grubby and corrupt. I have paid my license fee for the last time.

- rick, france, 14/12/2010 0:19

Are you going to tell him or should I?

Toto Coelo are fucking mingers btw, while I'm on

Once a national institution to be proud of, it has now become grubby and corrupt.

yeah, all that "SmileTV" and "TelevisionX" oh wait...

Marilyn was beautiful and didn't need to get her kit off iirc

She did anyway.

There were further complaints that boyband member Harry Styles was seen mouthing an obscene quip at winner Matt Cardle after Sunday night’s result was revealed.

FFS...

xp can you sign my copy of 'Sixteen Stone' please Gavin

This "One Direction" group look to me to be the real atrocity here.

Harry Styles is not second left in that picture, btw. They probably don't care because he doesn't have tits though.

Wait until his 'fat Robbie' phase.

Thank you very much for contacting us with your complaint about the article in the Daily Mail about Jody McIntyre. We have received numerous complaints about the coverage.

In response to the concerns raised, we sought to contact Mr McIntyre to see whether he wished to make a complaint to the PCC. We have now received a formal complaint from Mr McIntyre, and we will take forward the complaint with him directly.

We will seek to inform you of the outcome of the matter in due course. Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention.

Best wishes

Simon Yip

Administrator

Press Complaints Commission

w00t

write back and ask him if he's looking forward to seeing his dad David at Christmas

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Dec/Week4/15873926.jpg

lol scare quotes

Classic "aren't you outraged at this/everybody panic" stories on the front page there. Added bonus of the ever so subtle "gays / swine" subtext as well.

Oh, hooray, more Liz Jones insanity:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1345402/LIZ-JONES-Since-did-TV-soap-turn-deranged-baby-snatchers.html#ixzz1AYRFDkSd

Or the ludicrousness of Carol – the mother of Billie, who asphyxiated on his own drinkfuelled vomit – who is now sleeping with one of his friends, who happens to be black, and who happens to spend most of the time with his shirt off.
I asked a black female friend whether she found the portrayal of this character racist.
‘He keeps taking his shirt off,’ I told her.

Racist? Why?

Also, nice sexist assumption on the Joanna Yeates case:

But we need to address the issue of why men commit these crimes, not ban episodes of Wallander or Miss Marple

especially when the TV issue sparking the article is a crime committed by a fictional woman.

miss marple SOLVES crimes ailsa

So does Wallander. Meant why MEN commit these crimes.

like, she's saying that crime's a man thing (because we all know men are bad in Jonesworld), but she's failing to notice that the fictional crime wasn't committed by a fictional man.

wait is miss marple a documentary

Wait? Liz Jones has a black friend?

Or, more appropriately: Liz Jones has friends?

That DM article makes practically no sense from one sentence to the next.

Well, aye, it's written by Liz Jones.

Jones is criticising the BBC for cancelling the baby kidnap storyline. If the BBC hadn't, she (or some other DM writer) would be criticising them for not cancelling it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1345413/Gabrielle-Giffords-shot-Jared-Loughner-left-6-dead-Gwyneth-Paltrows-cousin.html

This is some real journalism.

Gabrielle Giffords shot Jared Loughner?? Holy shit!

DM readers can't be expected to care about anything unless a celebrity they've heard of is somehow connected, no matter how tangentially. See also 'Liam from One Direction's sister's boyfriend dies in a fight'.

Hooray, another week, another classic moment of self-awareness-bypass from Liz Jones. On being dealt with by shop assistants:

I was quite often made to feel stupid, old and poor

They must read your column then, eh?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1346991/Fed-surly-shop-assistants-care-Youre-We-unleashed-LIZ-JONES-investigate-just-Britains-served.html

I need to stop reading this, but it's so addictively bad. Nearly as good as her diary, wherein she is recreating a bad chicklit romance with a fake Jim Kerr.

btw, who the fuck thinks of asking staff in H&M if they'll specially tailor trousers for them?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1347334/Wolves-ready-snap-Lens-midfielder-Sidi-Keita.html

http://www.rclensois.fr/images/players/sidikeita.jpg

all black ppl look the same to the daily mail i guess (assuming they haven't edited it by the time u read this)

Yesterday the Herald's "famous people's birthdays" bit had "Emily Watson (pictured), 44" accompanied by a picture of Emma Watson.

More muslim hate. Comments are sickening.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1347335/Asian-sex-gang-Victim-tells-harrowing-story.html

Jack Straw can't help himself eh?

"rape rover"

Hey Daily Mail, this here iPhone user does not want to download your app. Sod off.

New meaning to the term 'shawcrossed'

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/01/16/article-1347610-0C7CB912000005DC-37_196x166.jpg

Either this one is Gob out of Arrested Development or Harry Hill, can't decide.

the self-styled ‘posh’ stand-up comic

REALLY CAN'T WAIT TO CHECK THIS GUY OUT I BET IT IS WHAT UK COMEDY HAS BEEN MISSING

"Loves football and drinking but is media savvy too"!!!!

http://www.harlequinproperty.co.uk/associates/images/patcash.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/3Gz4T.jpg

http://www.dirtyhoe-asheville.com/images/general-pics/hoes.jpg

As with all these DM articles, I'm torn between "don't react, that's what they want" and "KILL KILL KILL".

xp or http://www.mtv.com/shared/promoimages/bands/m/millionaires_the/a_z/281x211.jpg

Look around you. So many fields of public life are now dominated by those with, at the very least, a private education, in many cases wealth and in a few instances a title. In the arts, sport, television, fashion, music, nightlife and, of course, politics.

I guess in a way it stands as a tribute to the English language that the three-letter word 'now' can be so dishonest and fraudulent in that sentence

This is completely fucking batshit, even by her usual standards.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1347621/Is-lovely-Jo-just-thumbnail-police-website.html

So much wrong with that article, but I think the mangled syntax in this sentence shows Liz for the talent she is:

The lane is narrow. I can’t see how a car stopped here and a man struggled with a body without being beeped at and
told to get out the way, as I was.

Isn’t it interesting that you can snatch a young woman’s life away from her in the most violent, painful, frightening way possible, take away her future children, her future Christmases, take away everything she loves, and yet there are elaborate systems in place to ensure you do not cross a bridge for only 30 pence?

No, it isn't in the slightest bit interesting, you deranged ghoulish weirdo.

she could probably buy a nice cup of coffee from the pageview bonuses your links have accrued

which she'll probably end up throwing in someone's face in a tantrum

and she'll write a column about it

/repeat

idk how it works (maybe some sort of mirroring type thnigum) but there's some way of linking articles on sites which you deem ~unworthy of your patronage~ that means you don't click on the site itself (no, not 'cut and paste the text') - I'll try and find it now

yeah i was trying to think of that

could link to the googlecache but if it's new it probably hasn't been cached yet