Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

Soy lattes would be worse than vomit.

Distressing zing from a fellow Melburnian.

Haha

:D

Add to that list militant atheists who brazenly go hard at religious people just for being religious

^Especially when these types of atheists have succumbed to the blind faith in No God that they detest in the religious. Funny buying into one sort of dogma while ridiculing someone for following another sort of dogma.

uh oh

Its a good point tbh.

I've come to the conclusion that declaring one's atheism is currently less a philosophical outlook and more a hip fashion statement

moving on

i like calling my cats 'broheems' and 'homeslice' but never refer to other humans by those terms

Best way to avoid IA outbursts

^Especially when these types of atheists have succumbed to the blind faith in No God that they detest in the religious.

yeah but the 'No God' is real

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/fallout-shelter-5.jpg

here's one: I can't stand people reading something I've written down out loud. Especially if they read it incorrectly, or include typographical or grammatical errors. It's a bit like having your own words repeated back at you, and I can't help feeling people are reading these things in a mocking tone. I find myself bristling and wanting to shout "READ IT IN YOUR HEAD DUMMY!".

Typical example of this is if I send an email and someone on my team says "What's this?" and then starts reading it out loud, as if they can't understand it or don't know how to read quietly.

This is completely innocuous, I know, because sometimes it's necessary to read stuff out loud. I just can't stand it.

^ magnify humiliation by 200 when it's a birthday card

'red states'=republicans=right, and 'blue states'=democrats=left, when every other country in the world uses the colours the other way around. red is the long term signifier for communism ffs! the red menace! reds under the bed!

how do you include typographical errors if you are reading something aloud

Meet my coworker, who reads 80% of her email out loud and reads out every typo as spelt and then spends the next 2 minutes pointing it out to us: "'Bob raised the quesiton' - they wrote 'quesiton', do you see, does anyone know what a 'quesiton' is? maybe we should ask Bob since he is so good at raising them! do you think maybe they meant 'question', ho ho, anyway, 'Bob raised the quesiton of the timescale for..."

(I have done this occasionally for typos I've found funny, admittedly; I just hope my standards for typo funniness are a little higher than hers)

what a moron. If I were that woman's boss, I would fire the fuck out of her for that kind of shit.

in context, I parsed that as the reader inserting typographical errors while reading out loud

xp What kind of bizarre aspie television-character co-worker DOES that??? You people's offices are WEIRD.

I agree with d.l. and would even go further that I can't stand hearing ANYTHING read aloud, especially in the office. I should keep track of all the times my blood pressure has gone up, listening to one of our senior editors read fucking Onion stories out loud to the entire office. Ugh.

Listen, I know I sound crazy, but this even includes things on television: Newscasts, Oval Office speeches, Daily Show correspondents, when SNL performers read cue cards, etc. I know it's mental. Perhaps even irrational. But for me, it's the aural equivalent of having scotch tape to my fingernails. (I hate that too.)

I was in a band once with this guy who wrote out this huge bio for our MySpace page. After practice, I sat on his bench to smoke a cigarette and he comes out with his paper. I say, oh cool, let me read that, and he says no, I'll read it for you.

He got halfway through it before I finally put my smoke out and abruptly announced like an asshole, Look, I can't sit here and listen to this.

Wow, that kinda rules out a lot of things on tv when you think about it.

I snapped at my friend a couple weeks ago because he started reading the wikipedia article on beauty apropos of nothing. I hate the "reading voice".

Canadian TV ads with acoustic indie songs as background.

It's not natural. It's not what people sound like.

I worked at a radio station for 11 years and all that time, we had temporary producers who'd go "Why do you have to sound like that? Why can't commercials have regular dudes just talking?" And I'd pooh-pooh them for their ignorance.

But now, I guess it's wore me down. Sunny gave me a ride back to work the other day and one of her books-on-tape was playing on the iPod. I can't tell you why it bothers me (it doesn't anger me, so I guess this is off-topic.)

x-p

I really don't like people that fail to use turn signals when they drive. Multiply this dislike by 2 for when they are on a highway or busy road and changing lanes.

That's not innocuous, that's plain dangerous.

re: verbs - "guitaring"

no, it's guitar playing

re: adjectives - "depressive"

no, it's depressing

very

word itch.

iTunes. iTunes, iTunes, iTunes.

- When I click 'check for app updates' and you show them to me, don't IMMEDIATELY say 'oh, the list that I loaded ONE SECOND AGO is already out of date, you has to do it again'
- When I DO download updates, don't give me 'accessing iTunes store...' in the main window and AGAIN in a whole new separate window in the middle of the screen

- just all of iTunes really

Genius playlists are okay

Hate how iTunes automatically goes to the first thing in your library. I mean, I love ABBA, but I'd like to see something else.

... you'd rather it just jump to random locations in your library?

rather the last thing I played

itunes sucks

Adding DEAD FLIES THAT SPILL MAGGOTS EVERYWHERE to this list.

not so much innocuous as AGGGH THAT IS SO GROSS

Fair point.

This is why I can never bring myself to flyspray a blowie.

The only thing I have against maggots is that they're all new flies. I don't want to kill one fly and find it has been replaced by 30 more Twilight Zone-style.

The only thing I have against maggots is that they are gross. So, everything.

When I was a kid we had a dead mouse in our ceiling right over the exhaust fan for the bathroom, and the only way we found out was bc of walking into the bathroom one morning and the floor was covered in maggots. GAAHHHHHHHHH. So gross.

But without the maggots you wouldn't have known about the dead mouse so

itunes sucks

(don't think for a second that I am defending maggots btw)

MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!

xposts Maggots really not the ideal way to find out about anything imo, and LOL U ARE A MAGGOT LOVER