Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

'How many kids do you have? Oh, you don't have kids? Did you... was that...' <tail off into the interrogator trying to think of a nice way to say 'WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU'>

Usually at that point I jump in and explain that we don't want kids, and 99.94% of the time the response is 'ah, well, there's always time to change your mind'

SEE NOW I AM IRRATIO0NALLY ANGRY AGAIN

I mean srsly, if you're thoughtful enough to send us xmas cards why undo it by being a complete arsehole? Makes no sense.

On a tangentially related note, this reminds me that I wanted to stick an xmas card under my next-door neighbours' door but then I remembered that I can't spell her name and have completely forgotten his name (yes, I suck at the whole neighbourly thing, but they have been fielding my post and signing for it, so they are good people)

referring to you as Adam and Petula <> being a complete arsehole. those are your names (well, not petula's).

if shit like this makes you 'livid', it is indeed surprising that anyone bothers to send you xmas cards.

cf: thread title. "innocuous" and "irrational" are the key words here.

spacecadet: maybe you can address the Christmas card to "MY ESTEEMED NEIGHBORS" or "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN THAT LIVES NEXT DOOR TO ME"

"All at no. 36" had sprung to mind (they have some sprogs too whose names I have never been told, probably) but I feared its "shit, I don't know your weirdy foreign names"-ness was a little too transparent

perhaps a bottle of cheap wine and a knock on the door is easier

xxp Yeah what's with people repeatedly missing the point of this thread.

mkproof, they know her surname but they deliberately omit it because they disapprove of her decision to keep it. I hate everything about xmas cards btw.

spacecadet: INTERCEPT THEIR POST

that is a cunning idea, but I think our mailboxes are too robust, and also an Eastern European couple in the UK probably have 98% of their incoming mail wrongly addressed anyway, given that I have about 60% and have no particularly unusual letters in my name

I think delivering a bottle of plonk in person is a solid idea.

Do you need to borrow a cup of sugar? Because you could rock up to the door and say 'hi Brian, can I plz have one (1) cup of wait Brian is your name isn't it'

Logic being that getting his/her name wrong is probably more dignified than sending a xmas card to 'dearest neighbour'.

Ooh that's pretty sneaky. I like that.

Yeah, cunning wording should get you through that one. Don't address the card, and on the inside kick off with 'MERRY CHRISTMAS! I just wanted to thank you so much for blah blah blah...'

xpost x-many

Venting bc of bloody work: innocent email asking a single question, which you answer. 5 minutes later, an email asking for more data. Which you provide. Then person reveals reason for askign both questions which you could have answered at the beginning. On a daily basis. Actually their entire company does this, i think it's part of their training.

Instead of dashing off random thoughts on your blackberry, how about you actually take a moment, figure out what it is you REALLY need and ask for that instead of pussy footing around for an afternoon. Just for a laugh, let's pretend for a while that that emails pollute the environment & you need to conserve them.

RARRRR.

mkproof, they know her surname but they deliberately omit it because they disapprove of her decision to keep it.

Hang on hang on this doesnt make sense.

Are you saying the envelope says "Adam & Petula Surname"? Or the inside of the card says "dear Adam and Petula" because FFS, thats normal. Theyre not going to address you as "dear mr and mrs surname, have a great xmas!" on an xmas card.

petula surname is a great fiction name imo

I want to do a load of English language misuses but none of it is innocuous and all of it makes me rationally angry.

xp ahahaha yes

Are you saying the envelope says "Adam & Petula Surname"? Or the inside of the card says "dear Adam and Petula" because FFS, thats normal. Theyre not going to address you as "dear mr and mrs surname, have a great xmas!" on an xmas card.

― manic pixie dream girl phenomenon (Trayce), Friday, 10 December 2010 11:12 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

On the envelope, where you write the full name of the addressee, they write 'Adam & Petula'.

For about 15 yrs Telstra sent bills addressed to 'Mrs Adam Surname', I don't know which is worse.

We get letters from family members (xmas cards and such) addressed to 'Adam and Petula' because they refuse to acknowledge the fact that P kept her surname. Makes both of us livid.

Haha, today a wedding invite from John's stepbrother came in the mail, addressed to "John and Abb13 [his last name]." I thought: they don't really know or care about us at all. It's better than his stepbrother's mom, who not only calls me by my husband's surname, but still misspells my first name after ~5 years of me gently correcting her. She's a weirdo, though. She only calls John's mom "The Mother," like she's a character in The Wall or something.

Example sentence: "Tell The Mother that she needs to stop this codependent, toxic relationship." This woman makes me irrationally angry, actually.

wow. Passive aggressive much? She sounds like a treat.

My in-laws had a whole conversation in front of me about me changing my name, operating on the assumption that of course it wsa something I planned on doing. Eventually I just lost my temper and pointed out that I had no plans on doing any such thing. I'm right here. How about you ask ME?

Name-changing or not is such a non-issue in 99.5% of my life, it is maddening when it's an issue for such a small minority of people. GET OVER IT.

SOmehow it's okay with me when my mom and dad write letters addressed w/my first name and his last name, though. Like 'awwww, they are still too Mormon to recognize any other possibility.'

xxxp aaagh people who misspell people's names after five years of reinforcement get on my tits (again, rational anger therefore OT)

However, when my parents write checks with my first name & his last name like that...that gets tricky. I've been telling bankers "uh I just got married" every xmas and birthday for 2.5 years.

My inlaws did that when we first got married . Our stupid bank wouldn't accept the check and we had to get them to void it and rewrite the check.

Weird, appaz in Aus women can use either name (or both, hyphenated) without changing paperwork and legally it's fine.

I must admit I do get irrationally angry when someone I know gets married and immediately changes her email address to reflect her husband's name. I'm all 'aaargh why don't you just strap an ironing board to yoself aaaagh' (unless her née name is Cockpants or something in which case I completely get it).

(true story: a friend of ours got married and changed her name from something with 'cock' in it to the sexiest Scottish surname ever, so obv we were 100% supportive)

I must admit I do get irrationally angry when someone I know gets married and immediately changes her email address to reflect her husband's name

seriously innocuous

When we got married I was right in the middle of immigrating, since I came over on a Fiancee visa. And we'd opened bank accounts and social security cards and what have you all in my unmarried name...we sort of figured, eh, we'll change it when everything's done. It took about 5 years for the whole process to be over with and by then I felt like, I'd moved over here with nothing but a suitcase, and the only thing that I had left of 'me' as I knew myself was my family name. So I was glad I kept it.

Friends & family think that explanation is moronic but whatever. "It's just a name". Okay yeah but why are you so keen on me changing it if it's 'just a name'.

Exactly, 'just a name' is the perfect reason to stfu about it. God traditionalists give me the shits.

Initially P considered hyphenating, and I threatened to hyphenate too because I was buggered if I was going to let some musty patriarchal convention thrust a status shift athwart our relationship. A few hours later she became as irrationally angry as me and resolved to keep her name.

Mr Veg doesn't mind either way. Whichever is the least annoying and hassle-free.

I would've changed my name if I'd married N. I love his surname and mine sucks!

Maybe I should just marry him anyway, lol.

my wife didn't change her name (which i appreciate, actually). it's occasionally been a pain when i have to retrieve a towed car that's in her name, for instance, but whatever. several of my friends like to refer to me as mr (wife's surname).

sure it's this thread, but you (schlafsack) seem to be irrationally *very* angry about a great many innocuous things. calling ppl arseholes for sending you xmas cards? is it an insult that they failed to add yr university degrees to yr titles?

i don't know your family, but if it's really like that you should take this year's xmas cards to the Passive aggressive notes thread.

xp MAYBE

mine sucks!

― manic pixie dream girl phenomenon (Trayce), Friday, 10 December 2010 12:10 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

nah.

On the envelope, where you write the full name of the addressee, they write 'Adam & Petula'.

Eh? I still don't get what's wrong with this. I write this to all my friends who are couples but don't share the same name for whatever reason.

I changed my name when I married btw (inasmuch as you don't do anything other than call yourself by it), it was the most practical thing and I hate that people think I "mean" something by doing it. If mine had been the less-misspelled one we couldve easily both taken my name.

aaagh as I said upthread they put 'Adam & Petula' on the envelope BECAUSE they're pissed off that she didn't take my surname. Having to explain this is starting to make me irrationally angry btw.

(unless I was unclear in which case genuine apologies)

It's not a warm familial 'oh hai' type of thing, it's expressly disgruntledness that their nephew's wife didn't do what all good and faithful women should do and surrender her identity to her husband.

I still don't understand... what would be the right way for them to address the envelope? both of your full names??

Well yes, if you're following convention.

That would never occur to me as a thing to do if I'm mailing something to a couple.

don't make me explain this again

Well, it's the fact that they disapprove that you don't like, right? If a close friend did the same thing you wouldn't mind? I think that's what ppl are having trouble with. Anyway, if they really wanted to be p-a, they'd write "Mr Adam Surname Esq (and Petula)" or something :)

^ was just thinking that that's maybe how i'd do it, i dunno. it's best i dont write people i think