Dear Abbott

ooohhhh <3 will webmail

what is an inversion?

A change in air density (?) causes the air to be all shitty and dusty and make you feel terrible, and it also makes everyone (incl. newspaper headlines, which aren't people) talk about the inversion. It usually happens in winter. Both SLC and Boise are in valleys, I always thought that was what caused it. Shitty smoggy car air getting trapped in a valley, maybe? I guess it has something to do with fronts and moisture? Also I have no idea why it is called an "inversion."

There are better sources than me.

I wish someone had asked about colligitave properties, those I can actually explain. (Please don't really ask about those?)

The cold air in the higher levels of the atmosphere becomes wet enough in these dry climates to come down to ground level (displacing the dry warm air, as gbx said, thus the 'inversion.' It's warmer in the higher altitudes than it is down here right now), and if your in an urban valley, this means that all the smog and pollution comes down and fucks you up.

So, like, everything you guys said.

It was an actual fog the other day, Silent Hill on low clipping distance kind of shit. It's causing me to have this awful sinus business which is making me all nauseated. Missing Portland a lot right now.

Dear Abbott,

have you ever given somebody, or had somebody give you, a "Harry Chapin"? what possessed you to read a book of Mr. Chapin's poetry, and how would you rate it?

yours truly,
u.r.

p.s. your Anosmics at Play sign made me lol just now, and I rarely lol

Dear Abbott,

I am very excited for my drawing to arrive. I am going to send you something in return. Let me ask you - how do you feel about bracelets in a bangle style? Pro? Con?

Love,

Erica

Dear unreg,

I had a high school creative writing teacher who was weirdly obsessed with Mr. Chapin, and constantly hogged the school's one turntable to play his songs for us. She also had a book of his poetry, most of which was totally unmemorable save for the poem "Baptism," which only stuck out because it was about a hot carl. I would rate this book of poems as a D at best. Total Rod McKean stuff, plus a bonus hot carl. It never inspired me to shit on anyone's chest, or to participate in any shit related activities, sexual or non. Thank you for your curiosity.

Shittily,

Abbott

Dear Aqua,

I am in favor of Bangles, the band and the bracelets. I am excited to send you your picture! I am redoing it because I have since acquired a higher caliber of pen, and I was somewhat sloppy with the first drawing. It also had a coffee stain on it.

Your classy friend,

Abbott

dear abbott and admirers of abbott,

here is a thread about your book:

infamous abbott: now you can OWN your very own abbott book of art

<3 feel more privileged than you'll ever know to have been able to publisher your stuff <3

just1n3

dear abbott - how do you feel about profiteers posting on your thread to hawk their wares?

^ punched him for that

getting in on this action as we speak.

wise

i'm obv biased, but i loooooooooooooooove this book.

daer abbott, would you ever live in a non-western-state place?

Dear ytth,

It makes me feel absolutely delicious. I was telling my bestie on the phone over the phone last night, "Hopefully they won't be in the red over this one." You guys know how to make me feel like a million dollar$ anyway.

Abbs!

Dear mookie,

Yes! I'd like to live in Canada some time, por ejemplo. Think it would be cool to live in most anywhere in the U.S. Except after growing up in Idaho and living in Arizona right now, I'd prefer a more 'blue' state. Also ideally no snow. TBH I want to end up in ABQ or Boise again, but I am open minded about where my future takes me!

Mountain time zonely,

Abbott

Lose money? Are you kidding us sans merci, mon petit cheri? This limited edition chapbook will sell out in less than 24 hours, I predict confidently.

dear abbott-

have you ate pizza at that new place on congress yet?

is it awesome or was i just wasted.

-gr80000

Dear Abbott, Do you have a near or distant relative from Texas who now docents (if that be a word) at a historical house museum in Michigan? If "No", then I can confidently inform you that you have a doppelganger. She was delightful, as I feel sure that all people who resemble you must be.

In painstakingly researched and period-appropriate fondness,
Laurel

Dear Laurel,

I can't believe I have a doppelganger, and that she is working at a historical house museum. That sounds like a fantastic job for a not-me to have. I am glad you enjoyed your time with her, you flatterer.

Abbott

dear abbott,

I think u r super awesome

Dear plax-ico,

Thanks for your message. I also find you awesome. Esp. that one thread that I changed all the images on for you, A+ stuff. Great for a Sunday morning. I am serious.

Abbott

so have you eaten at that pizza place or what

Dear gr8080,

I have not checked out that pizza place. Maybe that will be my January destination. Do you have any other pizza places to rec bcz yrs truly loves some pizza.

Yrs truly (see?),

Abbs

brooklyn pizza on 4th ave is kinda cool.

but usually i just get burritos when i'm in tucson.

Dear Abbott,

did you hear about your tattoo? :-(

http://www.boingboing.net/2011/01/24/comics-code-authorit.html

And Pellerito said that, if Archie comic ever skews to an older audience, the publisher will let the readers know.

Needles and pins here.

StanM,

That strikes me as really hilarious. The tattoo artist who gave it to me said he always thought the A in the symbol was for "Archie." It's not so bad as you think...I have a full back piece of the Hays Code, the CCA stamp is comparatively a fresh kill.

Censorshiply,

Abbott

Dear Abbott,

I saw this and thought you would like it, so I was going to email it to you, but then I thought that other people should see it too, so here is a gift from me to you and th world:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdGzT-N4qnk

Yours truliest,
one Stevie D

Dear Stevie,

14-year-old me wld have freaked out at that! I wrote a couple comics about Lee Press-on nails at that time. That is a cuets little cartoon.

Comic <3s,

Abbacabb

Stevie D on a 1991 liquid TV kick tonight.

Daerest Abbott,

Did your 4 flag come with a national anthem?

Dear Ned,

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e4/Foreigner_-_4.jpg/220px-Foreigner_-_4.jpg

Stevie D on a 1991 liquid TV kick tonight every minute of all the time ever.

― kate78, Friday, January 28, 2011 9:49 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

fixed

daer abbott,

how did you and the viceroy meet?

Dear, mookieproof,

We met in a totally silly way! I was reading the Boise Weekly and saw that the bands The Sh1tty 0sm0nds and Z0mbie S3x were playing, so I thought I should check it out! Z0mbie S3x was a black metal band without any chops whose set was ~8 mins long. I thought the keyboardist was v dashing. I had also seen him ~a year before in the audience of an Andrew W.K. show. I ran into him the next day on college campus and said hi. That is how we met! I met a guy because he played the synthesizer. It's so trashy, but it is true.

I met a guy because he played the synthesizer
I met a guy because he played the synthesizer
I met a guy because he played the synthesizer
I met a guy because he played the synthesizer
I met a guy because he played the synthesizer
I met a guy because he played the synthesizer
I met a guy because he played the synthesizer

that is like
a dream
come
true

Dear Abbott,

How were The Shitty 0sm0nds?

Curious About A Pretty Good Band Name,

Couples in rom-coms are always supposed to "meet cute". Meeting trashy seems like just an extension of meeting cute.

Also, what is your opinion of Boise compared to Salt Lake City?

Geographically Restless,

Matt,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnJuoSgjzpQ

The guys in the red & black shirt in this are two of my best pals.
Their shows were cute because they had this huge following with jr high and high school age kids.

I never really listen to them of my own volition but they were fun to see play.
BTW I am going to googleproof your post.

I always wanted them to make shirts but they never did! I think I liked their name better than their music.

Dear Matt P –

I loved Boise. It is a lot smaller of a city than SLC, but I think that made it easier to meet people. Pretty, mild winters, less crazy of alcohol laws than Utah. I would defs be happy to live their again someday. You do have to hear about college football constantly, though.

Actually it's less pretty than SLC. The area surrounding Boise is really scrubby high desert biome.

dear abbott
wtf is wrong with me lately? getting old and dying i think
forks

Dear forks,

You come across on ILX as being p dang robust and lifeful. FWIW you are not the only one here incontrovertibly moving towards death. Try not to die anytime soon, though, I think you are a super great person.

Maybe try getting some Sea Monkeys? When I had them, they frightened me terribly, and I dreamed about their creepy translucent forms every night, and frankly they soaked up all my worry huice.

Unhelpfully,

A butt

"huice"? I mean juice. ¡jajaja!

hm. i will consider. i think i may need more sleep or something.