Dear Abbott

Dear Abbott-

I apologize for never returning your call on Saturday. I blame three factors:

1) I never saved your number in my phone when you first gave it to me.

2) I was already several drinks deep and iirc listening to the best man give a speech when you called

3) you share a name and an area code with someone who was trying to crash the wedding i was in town for and whom I and my friends were trying to avoid!! So even when I listened to your voicemail I was thinking it was someone else. For the last two days until I read this thread, I was wondering how non-ILX Tucson 4bby got my number!

I know this all sounds very phone-in-the-trunk but I swear it's the truth.

Sorry we didn't get to kick it, guess you have to come to Hawaii now.

Regretfully,

gr8080

:O

Death to false Abby-s!

I can't say 'death to false Tucson area codes,' that would just be silly.

I kind of feel bad for making the voicemail a topic of breakfast conversation:

"how did that crazy girl even get my number?!? 'what's the plan tonite, Grady?' Whatta psycho!!"

u_u

I should have used my full name, Abbiexandrietta.

I'm kind of incredulous about this other 'Abby,' tbh. How old is she? How is it I have never met another 'Abby' w/in ±15 years of my age, and there is one who is now apparently my arch-nemesis and a breakfast ruiner, living in my very town?

could you not hear that my name is spelled w/an 'ie?

Dear Abbott and my fellow gooner

What ever happened to the sloth and hedhehog tattoo? Did you get it done? Is there a photo?

Dear Abbott

I am thinking of getting a tattoo or three myself. One I have planned when I have some money is 'Freedom is a road seldom travelled by the multitude' looping around my right arm just below my elbow. Do you have any good ideas for something else I can get? I kinda want something minimal (black line only, no colouring in) and cartoony on my wobbly left bicep.

S

x

Dear Abbs,

Did you live in SLC for long? If so, did you experience one or more inversions? If so, what did you do to prevent yourself feeling like you were dying? Because I feel like I'm dying.

-Nick

Dear a hoy hoy,

I was requested to draw a sloth + hedgehog for someone else on ILX. I actually drew it, but never scanned it, and I waited long enough to do it that I forgot who it was supposed to be for. SO maybe, if you remember, and you still want that, I can help you out? I never got it.

As for your idea, you should get this:

http://intranet.dalton.org/faculty/BENDER/JJ.Abin.JPEG

Then when people want to talk to you about James Joyce, be like "Who? What? Huh?" I promise this will not make your life a nightmare.

Yours,

Abbott

Dear en,

I lived in SLC about eight months iirc? it was 2002, and Sean Paul's "Gimme the Light" pulled me through many an inversion. What I'm saying is, I did experience them. A humidifier seemed to help, but that could be some placebo shit, in which case, tricking my poor mind helped. They happened in Boise, too. No one ever seemed to have an explanation of why they happened. "It just means everything gets all, you know, inverted."

If I ever went to SLC, would you want to hang? My brother and his wife live there, I was thinking of doing a road trip there maybe.

Yours hangily but not invertedly,

Abbott

I believe that I was the one who requested the sloth/hedgehog drawing!!!

Ugh, I am totally considering wearing a dust mask outside, with, like, a circa spring 2009 design on it.

Of course I would hang! You could stop by the shop; my latte art is getting positively adequate.

inversions: cold wet air is denser than warm dry air. so a cold front moving across the lake will make an inversion iirc

Erica – I no longer have a scanner but I could mail the orig to you – just get me yr address, yay.

ooohhhh <3 will webmail

what is an inversion?

A change in air density (?) causes the air to be all shitty and dusty and make you feel terrible, and it also makes everyone (incl. newspaper headlines, which aren't people) talk about the inversion. It usually happens in winter. Both SLC and Boise are in valleys, I always thought that was what caused it. Shitty smoggy car air getting trapped in a valley, maybe? I guess it has something to do with fronts and moisture? Also I have no idea why it is called an "inversion."

There are better sources than me.

I wish someone had asked about colligitave properties, those I can actually explain. (Please don't really ask about those?)

The cold air in the higher levels of the atmosphere becomes wet enough in these dry climates to come down to ground level (displacing the dry warm air, as gbx said, thus the 'inversion.' It's warmer in the higher altitudes than it is down here right now), and if your in an urban valley, this means that all the smog and pollution comes down and fucks you up.

So, like, everything you guys said.

It was an actual fog the other day, Silent Hill on low clipping distance kind of shit. It's causing me to have this awful sinus business which is making me all nauseated. Missing Portland a lot right now.

Dear Abbott,

have you ever given somebody, or had somebody give you, a "Harry Chapin"? what possessed you to read a book of Mr. Chapin's poetry, and how would you rate it?

yours truly,
u.r.

p.s. your Anosmics at Play sign made me lol just now, and I rarely lol

Dear Abbott,

I am very excited for my drawing to arrive. I am going to send you something in return. Let me ask you - how do you feel about bracelets in a bangle style? Pro? Con?

Love,

Erica

Dear unreg,

I had a high school creative writing teacher who was weirdly obsessed with Mr. Chapin, and constantly hogged the school's one turntable to play his songs for us. She also had a book of his poetry, most of which was totally unmemorable save for the poem "Baptism," which only stuck out because it was about a hot carl. I would rate this book of poems as a D at best. Total Rod McKean stuff, plus a bonus hot carl. It never inspired me to shit on anyone's chest, or to participate in any shit related activities, sexual or non. Thank you for your curiosity.

Shittily,

Abbott

Dear Aqua,

I am in favor of Bangles, the band and the bracelets. I am excited to send you your picture! I am redoing it because I have since acquired a higher caliber of pen, and I was somewhat sloppy with the first drawing. It also had a coffee stain on it.

Your classy friend,

Abbott

dear abbott and admirers of abbott,

here is a thread about your book:

infamous abbott: now you can OWN your very own abbott book of art

<3 feel more privileged than you'll ever know to have been able to publisher your stuff <3

just1n3

dear abbott - how do you feel about profiteers posting on your thread to hawk their wares?

^ punched him for that

getting in on this action as we speak.

wise

i'm obv biased, but i loooooooooooooooove this book.

daer abbott, would you ever live in a non-western-state place?

Dear ytth,

It makes me feel absolutely delicious. I was telling my bestie on the phone over the phone last night, "Hopefully they won't be in the red over this one." You guys know how to make me feel like a million dollar$ anyway.

Abbs!

Dear mookie,

Yes! I'd like to live in Canada some time, por ejemplo. Think it would be cool to live in most anywhere in the U.S. Except after growing up in Idaho and living in Arizona right now, I'd prefer a more 'blue' state. Also ideally no snow. TBH I want to end up in ABQ or Boise again, but I am open minded about where my future takes me!

Mountain time zonely,

Abbott

Lose money? Are you kidding us sans merci, mon petit cheri? This limited edition chapbook will sell out in less than 24 hours, I predict confidently.

dear abbott-

have you ate pizza at that new place on congress yet?

is it awesome or was i just wasted.

-gr80000

Dear Abbott, Do you have a near or distant relative from Texas who now docents (if that be a word) at a historical house museum in Michigan? If "No", then I can confidently inform you that you have a doppelganger. She was delightful, as I feel sure that all people who resemble you must be.

In painstakingly researched and period-appropriate fondness,
Laurel

Dear Laurel,

I can't believe I have a doppelganger, and that she is working at a historical house museum. That sounds like a fantastic job for a not-me to have. I am glad you enjoyed your time with her, you flatterer.

Abbott

dear abbott,

I think u r super awesome

Dear plax-ico,

Thanks for your message. I also find you awesome. Esp. that one thread that I changed all the images on for you, A+ stuff. Great for a Sunday morning. I am serious.

Abbott

so have you eaten at that pizza place or what

Dear gr8080,

I have not checked out that pizza place. Maybe that will be my January destination. Do you have any other pizza places to rec bcz yrs truly loves some pizza.

Yrs truly (see?),

Abbs

brooklyn pizza on 4th ave is kinda cool.

but usually i just get burritos when i'm in tucson.

Dear Abbott,

did you hear about your tattoo? :-(

http://www.boingboing.net/2011/01/24/comics-code-authorit.html

And Pellerito said that, if Archie comic ever skews to an older audience, the publisher will let the readers know.

Needles and pins here.

StanM,

That strikes me as really hilarious. The tattoo artist who gave it to me said he always thought the A in the symbol was for "Archie." It's not so bad as you think...I have a full back piece of the Hays Code, the CCA stamp is comparatively a fresh kill.

Censorshiply,

Abbott

Dear Abbott,

I saw this and thought you would like it, so I was going to email it to you, but then I thought that other people should see it too, so here is a gift from me to you and th world:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdGzT-N4qnk

Yours truliest,
one Stevie D

Dear Stevie,

14-year-old me wld have freaked out at that! I wrote a couple comics about Lee Press-on nails at that time. That is a cuets little cartoon.

Comic <3s,

Abbacabb

Stevie D on a 1991 liquid TV kick tonight.

Daerest Abbott,

Did your 4 flag come with a national anthem?

Dear Ned,

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e4/Foreigner_-_4.jpg/220px-Foreigner_-_4.jpg

Stevie D on a 1991 liquid TV kick tonight every minute of all the time ever.

― kate78, Friday, January 28, 2011 9:49 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

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