Dear Abbott

Dearest Anosmiabbott:

I MISS MY SENSE OF SMELL ALL THE TIME. I think that those who tell you that it's overall a good thing are trying to say something nice. There are many bad smells, true, but smelling them can be very useful. As a way of knowing if you stepped in dog shit, for example. Or knowing if the cat did in fact pee on your gym bag.

My sense of taste was cut way, way back. I've read a lot about anosmia and learned that most of what we "taste" is a result of synesthesia. Your brain reads the smells (coming in your nostrils and from your throat) as occurring on your tongue. Now, I can taste the four tongue tastes (sweet, salty, sour, bitter), hot (spicy), and maybe umami (I can slightly taste butter and some cheeses) and pretty much nothing else. Fortunately, my memory has sort of kicked in and made me feel like I'm tasting things. Unfortunately, this does not allow me to know what brand new flavors are like.

Abbott, I strongly doubt that your sense of taste is as competent as anyone else's. Not trying to tell you what you're sensing, but the tongue has no way of distinguishing the differences between the thousands of subtleties of "taste" that the olfactory nerves are responsible for sensing.

One very strange surprise was that I can "smell" cat piss in very strong doses (greater than the quantity that would be on my gym bag). If I don't clean the litter box before work, when I do at night, I smell a weird minty "smell." It is exactly like a smell, but it cannot be, because the nerves are not there.

About your anosmia: 1. How did you or your parents discover it? 2. Have you ever had to get it treated? 3. My previous question: are there things you are really surprised to find out have a smell?

Your Scentless Apprentice,

Jesse

(re my memory compensating for no-smellia: when I'm eating familiar foods, I no longer notice the immense reduction in flavors, however, one time, a friend started quizzing me about the Mexican food I was eating. He asked "so what does that mole taste like? what does steak taste like?" and it was like Wiley Coyote suddenly realizing that there was no ground beneath him after he ran off the edge of the cliff: when I tried to analyze the tastes, I became aware that I was tasting almost nothing.)

Dearest Jesse,

Thanks for the thoughtful straight talk! I doubted it was really better not to have one, though I sometimes joke that I am evolutionarily superior. I feel like it has fucked with my head in minor and subtle ways. Like I feel like maybe I'm an atheist because I am "missing" this other component of being human, having a "sense" of spirituality. That's just me being a depressio, though.

Interesting thoughts on the taste front. I am a capable cook whose food people like, even the stuff I freestyle, not just from recipe. This makes me think I have a basic grasp of taste. You do make me think I am missing nuances, which is something I never wanted to consider. I will try not to get too emo about this! Maybe this is a good excuse for saving some money and buying $3 wine, though.

It is pretty interesting because something like durian, which is really smell based, I guess, it still kinda stanky but totally manageable. I always wondered – people always seem to smell popcorn with a ready potency, but it tastes almost like nothing. How does smell factor into its flavor?

What do you mean your sense of taste was cut way, way back?

About its discovery: I was a smart kid but also developmentally slow in a number of ways, mostly physical. I had some special extra classes after kindergarten and first grade, working with physical therapists. For this reason, I figured I was also behind at smelling. Like I remember learning about the five senses in kindergarten and thinking "there's another thing I'm behind on, too," because other little girls would spray on Jean Naté or whatevs and I didn't get it. But eventually I realized it's not a learned skill and it was just never going to happen.

Meanwhile, my parents thought I was making it up for years, just living a very long, expertly sustained lie to "get attention." When I was ten, my mom and dad and siblings went into town, and let me chill at home. My mom had left some cookies in the oven and forgotten about them. By the time she got home, the cookies were little black carbon UFOs and the house was full of smoke. They got really mad at me for not noticing, but it finally convinced them I couldn't smell. Stupid assholes.

They took me to get an MRI when I was in high school, and the guy reading it said my brain checked out OK. This doctor did not seem particularly expert in the subject. He didn't know the word "anosmia," even. I learned that word from an episode of "Jeopardy!". Anyway, that's the closest it's ever been to being "treated" in any way. I don't think there's hope for people like me. Have you attempted any treatments?

Final question: There are LOTS of things I am surprised to find out have a smell. I mentioned popcorn. Citrus peels. Rain having a smell is bizarre to me. I always thought sex should emit some kind of crazy potent odor, but I guess it doesn't. Menses, too. (How do you even ask about that? You basically can't, not politely anyway.) When I was a kid, I thought maybe lying made you stink, so I was afraid to do it.

I always thought if I did have to lose a sense, smell would be the one to pick. I guess I'm biased. DO you agree? I mean I'd much rather have this than blindness or deafness.

TLDRly,

Abbott

I always thought sex should emit some kind of crazy potent odor, but I guess it doesn't.

yes it does!

(I wish I had started a thread about this, but oh well...)

Yeh, I guess smell is the sense to lose. I would much rather have this than no sight or hearing. Or feeling.

Maybe this is a good excuse for saving some money and buying $3 wine, though.

Yes! I still feel weird when I go to a place with a fantastic beer selection and I order crap. A few times I ordered with a big, defensive disclaimer "I actually do like good beer, but I have a condition, please don't judge me, etc."

I always wondered – people always seem to smell popcorn with a ready potency, but it tastes almost like nothing. How does smell factor into its flavor?

Definitely. I never was a fan of popcorn, but now even less so.

What do you mean your sense of taste was cut way, way back?

I mean that millions of flavors that resulted from my olfactory nerves telling my brain that I was tasting what they were smelling (e.g., garlic, anything smoked, all sorts of subtleties of wine, mushrooms) are simply gone. Now garlic tastes slightly hot on my tongue, bacon tastes like salt, mushrooms don't taste like anything. The best analogy I've thought of is that it is like the difference between closing your eyes and being touched on bare skin as opposed to being touched through canvas. Through canvas you will still feel that you are being touched, but you won't be able to detect by what, the degree of pressure, etc.

Or maybe like stuffing your ears with ear plugs and listening to music?

Have you attempted any treatments?

I went to a ear-nose-throat (ENT) doc who referred me to a specialist who he said is the leading smell-ologist in the whole country (he ONLY deals in smelling - perfumers and sommeliers are some of his clients). I haven't gone yet, mostly b/c if he tells me that there is no hope, then I truly no longer have even hope for getting my sense of smell back. (I think one of his treatments is electro-stim!)

I always thought sex should emit some kind of crazy potent odor
When I was a kid, I thought maybe lying made you stink

Weird! Like, you thought that sex organs became fragrant?

The one thing that consistently makes me emotionally upset is the thought that I will never smell another man. In relationships and sex, smell was always a really key thing for me. I was so happy when I would put on a shirt that my boyfriend wore and smell his body and/or aftershave on it. I loved smelling him on me after we had sex (the crotch does have smells, often very nice ones, often not). Smelling a boyfriend or lover or whatever was really primal way of feeling connected. ;_;

Weird re lying, not sex. I just wanted clarification on the sex thing.

pfft. not really... I mean, it produces the smell of sweat. If we were to go by scent alone then Working Out = Sexual Intercourse.
-- xp 'bout sex smell

Sex could sort of said to result in smell. The act doesn't produce scent, but if you ever smell your hands after having sex, it's a unique smell.

Jesse, if you don't mind me asking, how did you lose your sense of smell? Trauma?

If we were to go by scent alone then Working Out = Sexual Intercourse.

working out + crotch smells

yeah its like a combination of the scents you and your partner naturally have I guess, plus the addition of each other's sweat. Its really nice, and I can def. understand being sad about losing that sensation. I just wanted to make it clear that the act of sex doesn't produce some kind magnificent fragrance common to all.

Come on guys, they even wrote a song about this. And candy.

gbx - yes, head trauma.

I fell on my head, hitting the sidewalk (? I think) about 2 inches behind and above my right ear. I got a concussion and skull fracture.

The ENT told me that when my brain bounced around, it caused the nerves that go from the olfactory bulb into the nose (through bone) to shear off. This is apparently not uncommon in head injuries such as occur in car crashes or fist fights.

yeah its like a combination of the scents you and your partner naturally have I guess, plus the addition of each other's sweat.

+ the smell of ~other stuff~

yeah dudes, sex smell is a thing

Uh.... stuff other than scents you and your partner naturally have? (should have said "normally otherwise would produce" really)

xp

I mean, sex is gonna smell like genitalia and perhaps butt and (let's be frank) santorum.

i'm sorry to hear that jesse---i suppose it could have been worse?

mostly curious because abb's anosmia has a different etiology than yours, so yr already subjective experiences might also be objectively different, you know?

I mean, sex is gonna smell like genitalia and perhaps butt and (let's be frank) santorum.

― i need to organize my zines (Jesse), Saturday, December 4, 2010 6:43 PM (8 seconds ago) Bookmark

right. people that have been working out don't have the smell of ~secretions~ on them.

TMI but i have basically walked into ex-roommate's rooms ("hey dude have you seen my...") and been like whoa something happened in here

OOOH - I forgot that you might also smell semen. Which can be kind of overwhelming.

The smell of semen to me is very very slight (at least uh, when its fresh... don't know about otherwise). Course, I don't have a lot of experience regarding that...

guys the point is that yr sex organs make stuff that don't occur anywhere else in your body, and are generally only produced when yr doing the deed. and this stuff smells, often v v strongly.

You guys are blowing my mind!

:-/

•_•

mostly curious because abb's anosmia has a different etiology than yours, so yr already subjective experiences might also be objectively different, you know?

― BIG MUFFIN (gbx), Saturday, December 4, 2010 6:43 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yes, that's true. I get really frustrated when I want to know what something unfamiliar (e.g., food or cologne)smells like and no one has the words to describe it. I imagine congenital anosmia might worse in some ways because it's a world you can not understand whatsoever, but it could also be less frustrating because it's not like you are going to long for something that went away.

No one is good at describing smells, it's true. "Imagine how it tastes, but, like, in your nose." Actually, the Viceroy said something lucid once. We were walking by a Hollister and he said, "The smell coming out of it is as loud and impossible to ignorable as the music." It is just hard to imagine being overwhelmed by this invisible thing!

TBH I thought just like erotic lust had a smell. Like I remember masturbating and then going in the living room to watch TV with my parents, worried they could smell it on me. I think my religious paranoias got mixed up w/my insecurities about anosmia.

"Imagine how it tastes, but, like, in your nose." is what I usually think and say, but the comparison to music is brilliant.

You know what is really weird!? How smell can affect you physically by making you nauseated or giving you a headache. I was extremely surprised to find that things whose smells used to give me a headache or make me queasy - such as glue and paint - do not do so now that I can't smell them! I thought the headaches and sick feeling were the result of absorbing the chemicals, but it looks like it was just a result of the smell.

Paint fumes will still make me a little light-headed, but my reaction is almost nothing compared to what it was when I could smell. And rotting meat or food doesn't affect me whatsoever anymore.

It sort of makes me reexamine my deep skepticism toward aromatherapy.

I wonder if abbs taste has overcompensated for her lack of smell, like how people who are blind have a greatly enhanced sense of hearing

I am secretly this guy

http://notthebeastmaster.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/daredevil.jpg

"Imagine how it tastes, but, like, in your nose." is kind of like "imagine how it looks, but, like, in your knees" – nearly impossible to imagine

yeah I can't imagine tasting with, say, my ears

I'm not being contrary when I say that I can imagine those things.

I believe you! I'm just kind of thick about some things.

I mean, if I met a creature who had a sense that they described as "it's like seeing, but in your knees" I would probably imagine it differently from how they did, but I could imagine it somewhat.

Dear Abbott:

Do people you know often forget that you can't smell?

Yours,

Stinky Jizzknees

Dear Jesse,

Most people tend to forget. There's no real obvious cue for it, so I don't blame people. I think my mom forgets more often than anyone. It sometimes leads to a funny conversation when someone farts.

I am always flattered when people remember, but I don't expect them to. DO you find people tend to be forgetful about it?

Do you ever have a problem of people buying you cologne? I feel like there are a lot more generic gift items (like lotion, candles, etc.) stereotypically given to women. John's stepmom got me some Avon perfume as a gift once and I thought: fucking seriously?

–The broken old factory olfactory lady

Dear Abbott,

have you ever used your anosmia for evil, and not good? did you ever play a particularly nasty practical joke or prank wherein you utilized your anosmia to, say, not smell the stinkbomb you smuggled into 6th period English class?

Dear dayo,

I would be too paranoid of getting caught in the stink crossfire and not knowing it! I am v slapstick in a way, things tend to backfire on me, meaning I am basically good out of knowledge that all my plans get wacky i the end.

This whole conversation has made me want to put on more deodorant.

Abbott

Dear Abbott,

do you have wet earwax or dry earwax?

froyo

Dear dayo,

Wet is my phenotype! I have never seen the dry earwax. What kind of earwax do you have?

Sorry anyone who finds this gross!

– Towellie

Abbott:

I think usually people remember, but certainly they forget sometimes. It can be humorous when they do forget and ask me to smell something.

No one ever bought me cologne before. Not since I was a teenager, anyway. I have two colognes that I bought when I could smell (accident was in Feb. 2010, colognes are Varvatos..."Vintage?" I forget... and Acqua di Gio) and I guess I'll just wear those if I want cologne.

Do you ever feel like you have to fake having a sense of smell?

Do you ever think people think you mean that you can't smell very well when you say "I have no sense of smell"?

I have a friend who had nasal polyps and she said they prevented her from being able to smell, but one time we got on a train with a vagrant who was so covered in feces and piss and body odor that it *literally* stung my eyes and she was able to smell. So now if I have to explain my condition, I put it in terms of a condition hat I have, not "I can't smell."

Kindred Agnosmic,

Jesse

at least if you get accused of farting, you're off the hook -- no smelling, no dealt-ing

Dear Abbott,

I have dry! I was hoping to alleviate your deodorant fears because:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/29/science/29cnd-ear.html?_r=1

unfortunately I may have only aggravated them! many apologies

dryo earwax

Oh, and btw, I have felt the need to fake being able to smell. Now when I get on an El car with a truly horrifyingly stinky person, I take my cue from others' offense and move away from him or her. I do this b/c I used to sometimes see a solitary, normal looking person sitting next to the stinky person while everyone else was crowded at the other end of the car, and I wondered WTF was wrong with that person. I will not be him.

I find it easier to fake it sometimes if a stranger is trying to get me to smell their nice-smelling lotion or somesuch. "Oh, how nice." Way easier than explaining the whole thing and having to recite the anosmia FAQ to some incredulous person. If I know I will spend a lot of time around a person, I will take the time to explain so I won't have to in the future, and so I don't feel like they think I'm a liar ("she smelled my lotion four months ago, is she just trying to get attention by being weird now?").

Most people have never heard of anosmia at all, so there's a range of reactions. Framing it as a condition would be wise, I am going to stela that idea. I remember one time I told someone I had no sense of smell and he said, "Neither do I." I got v excited (having never met another anosmic) and started asking questions like we are to each other. Then he said, "I mean, I have a cold." Heartbreak!

What do you miss the smell of the most, besides lovers? What would you say is the best smell? And the worst?

stela = steal, obv!

Dear dayo,

That article wasn't not reassuring either, fwiw. I enjoyed it because I always like to have examples of single gene traits! When I taught biology, I hated when people would use examples of multiple gene traits, like eye and hair color, when talking about simple inheritance. It made it sound like they were single gene traits, and made it hard to explain epistasis, which is easy to explain w/those exact two examples, eye and hair color.

Pedantically,

Abbott

here's an article from the nytimes a few years back about not smelling.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/18/dining/18taste.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=anosmia&st=cse