vadge horror stories

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whaaaaaat?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

'Well, looks like I'm never having tzatziki sauce ever again'

Taramasalata, anyone?

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Who knew that a vagina that smells like antiseptic was so integral to car safety!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"Remember kids, buckle up... AND DOUCHE!"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, Officer Overly Friendly!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

A thoroughly neutralised vaginal passage is the key to success in every sphere of life, I find.

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

It's definitely U&K if you wanna get with these SPHERES OF LIFE, right here! ayy oh!

― diceman (Oops), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

cunnilingus
may be wanting
if your "thing" is
something daunting

LYSOL DOUCHE

― antexit (antexit), Friday, 18 June 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

The "germs" Lysol allegedly would kill were sperm. "Protect your married happiness" = prevent a pregnancy.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Now we've gotta start over!

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

If you want
To keep your fun,
Rid your oven
Of tha bun!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

pH balance
"right" today?
wash those buggers
clean away!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Anytime
You need to throw a
Curve ball
At spermatozoa:
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh dear oh dear, what's going on?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Stand-up guy,
terrific feller -
sense of timing
less than stellar?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Rhythm method
out of synch?
wash those peskies
down the sink!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:52 (twenty-one years ago)

me and my ex-catholic posse will probably be harping at this particular angle for DAYS

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

So you are all recording these, right?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

No lovin'
from Jim?
Nourish
your quim!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Hello to last week me. Fair enough.

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

*hysterics*

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

ok for those who object to "perfect" rhymes:

Guesswork's good
for Roman types.
Who here needs
these Handi-Wipes?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:58 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG ALBUM WAITING TO HAPPEN: "Ned Raggett Reads Slogans For Lysol Douche Written In The Burma-Shave Style"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Husband'd rather
have a beer?
Get some Lysol
Up yer labia
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

28 days
Through the thrush;
Time to clean
That uterus!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

After Mass,
things got real hot -
said he'd pull out,
then forgot?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Men all think
you're just a strumpet?
Sterilise
thy facking crumpet
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Halt that odour
sweet and true
emanating
from your smoo
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"smoo"!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

http://img71.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/red_vadge_copy.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Lovin' at an
all-time low?
Whack some up
your camel toe
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:16 (twenty-one years ago)

couldn't say no
to sailor boy?
lather up
and smiles ahoy!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:21 (twenty-one years ago)

hide your shame
from prying eyes--
stop their stares
and sterilize!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:23 (twenty-one years ago)

works on counters
works on grout
works to flush
the fetus out
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:23 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG ALBUM WAITING TO HAPPEN: "Ned Raggett Reads Slogans For Lysol Douche Written In The Burma-Shave Style"

This COULD occur...

Dan and I, it should be noted, are currently creating the world's worst Lysol Douche TV commercials in chat.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I am very ashamed of myself.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

(oh wait Ned, you mean
that somewhere there are the BEST
Lysol Douche ads. EW)

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Husband always
cleaning his teeth?
Prolly 'cause of
your stinking queefs
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

bubble bubble
toil and trouble?
clean that coochie
on the double!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Got a zygote
In your midst?
Give you bearded clam
A rinse!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

someone extra
on the ride?
subtract that pest
with pesticide
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

LYSOL DOUCHE
to rid the whelp--
three lips? clit hole?
well, we can't help.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

[okay, I cannot in good conscience post the one I just came up with but it used the word "plunger"]

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

if we had that thing
called "good conscience" we would not
have come near this thread

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

if you're good
just drive on by--
but naughty girls
had better try
LYSOL DOUCHE*

*In this "humor" piece, the author alleges that he was trying to parody the Mittelamerican fear of sexual activity so prevalent in the earlier part of the century, a fear which continues to come through in popular culture and attitudes to this very day. However, it is clear that he himself is some kind of anti-sex freak with a standard run of the mill virgin/whore-complex, and that his attempts at joking merely serve as camouflage to try to steer people away from the psychic turmoil raging beneath his surface...much, indeed, as LYSOL DOUCHE rages beneath the surface, its scrubbing bubbles doing the work so you don't have to.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Cleanse your crease of sperm and grease
Swishy-swoosh! With LYSOL DOUCHE!

Vadge horror story: my friend went to Brazil and whilst she was there she had her labia trimmed and her snatch tightened, but it got infected. Eeeowrgh.

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Saturday, 19 June 2004 08:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Badger Kitten, in its own small way that is the saddest story ever.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

'small' is not the word
for a story that gives me
THE PH34R REALLY BAD

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you got a reekin' thatch?
Then splash some Lysol on your snatch!
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― grym leighton (Crazyhorse), Saturday, 19 June 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

A friend of mine slept with a woman who had extensive internal scarring (childbirth), apparently it was like sliding past fossilised worms. Not exactly "ribbed for his pleasure".

― grym leighton (Crazyhorse), Saturday, 19 June 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

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