Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

oh my god. i didn't even get to the comments. i got as far as the photo of a girl with her knickers down. shame on her!

Unknown to her, Mrs Stepney, 35, had developed cervical cancer. Her unborn twins' constant kicking in the womb actually managed to dislodge the tumour.

Panic after 'Franken-fish' that is deadlier than a piranha is caught in Britain

With its razor- sharp teeth, the fish known as the giant snakehead terrorises the warm waters of south-east Asia.
Which is why an angler was particularly startled to hook a 2ft specimen from a river in Lincolnshire.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/02_03/snakehead_468x278.jpg

28 people have commented on this story so far. Tell us what you think below.

They'll be asking for dole money in no time!
- Liz, London, England

What's the chance of this migrant being deported?
- Richard De Gerber, Kingston upon Thames

Another alien species out to take from the UK then?
- Yvonne Jarman, United Kingdom

(ect ect)

Those readers comments sounds so sarcastic, but I suppose they're not as sarcastic as I would like.

I'm amazed that anyone would even think of that response!

The ladettes article up there is a thing of wonder. Brilliantly and pointlessly gratuitous. And who can argue with the "Exhibition Title:
"Portraits in Liberalism"" comment???

I'll have to start noting down Daily Mail headlines, as I can't quite remember a brilliant recent one that had the classic "OUTRAGE" in it along with a carefree use of scare quotes.

that fish deserves his own thread

That ladette article is such utter tosh. I could taken exactly the same pictures at parties in 1979. And probably worse. This is what pisses me off so much about the Mail (et al) it's like all this is something new that never happened until Blair won an election.

Actually I did take some photos like that I'll have to dig them out.

amazing -
http://www.pickledpolitics.com/archives/1716

Lol Diana Appleyard

...because they keep bringing up the same 'migrants are eating our swans' story (and this time they even nicked the headline off of an old Sun story)...

Swan Bake

And yet Peter Maxwell Davies remains a free man...

Swans look tasty. I wish I could eat swans. There are two different kinds on my way to work and it seems very unfair that they're both the queen's, you know? Not that I'd exactly stand a chance against one.

So are we meant to be going OH NO immigrants stealin our houses today, or is the idea of them all gathering in tents more frightening now?

'PLEASE, get the smut and vulgarity off TV.'

'Just show us big pictures of it happening instead.'

"And yet Peter Maxwell Davies remains a free man..."

heh, he's master of the queen's music is why

Titchmarsh must have been wondering how he went from being a household name fronting one of the nation's most popular shows, to placing stickers on a bikini-wearing model named Kelly.

Don't his novels have their fair share of smut?

In 2000, Titchmarsh was awarded the M.B.E. in the Queen's Millennium Honours List for his services to gardening and broadcasting.

How those days must seem like a distant memory now.

Anyone ever seen the Alan Titchmarsh Show? I saw the opening 30 seconds of one and it was so much like Alan Partridge it must surely have beeen deliberate.

"I'M ALAN TITCHMARSH!! AHAAA!!"

Seriously tho, I expect Glen Ponder and Savoir Faire to show up any minute

YouTube links please!

every time i've seen it they have on kelvin mackenzie or that john gaunt prick

^^^Can't handle real talk from Man of the People Gaunty.

that john gaunt prick

Goodness, on daytime television! The pornography gets worse!

TASTELESS TACKY TITMARCH TANKS ON AFTERNOON TV! SHAME OF FATHER-OF-TWO! REPORT HIM TO SOCIAL SERVICES IMMEDIATELY Mealnei Plihlpsi writes

Didn't Titchmarsh win an award for the worst description of sex in his books. His show's more Mrs Merton (let's have a heated debate) than Alan Partridge. Never saw Gaunt on it, whenever I see it* it's usually Amanda Platell moaning about the Royal Family.

*Based on a scientific sample of about 3 shows.

^^^Can't handle real talk from Man of the People Gaunty.

i just snorted my cafe latte all over my apple mac and copy of the guardian

oh it's nick ferrari today

Tomorrow it will probably be LBC's Steve Allen.

ILX's Dom Passantino

All I ever see of the Mail is the front page: today's example - boasting that, because of them, Marks & Spencer had stopped giving away free carrier bags - is the sort of thing I might actually admire if only it were done by a paper which did not unswervingly support the economic system which encourages such things.

MC's "YOU WANTED THATCHER, YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW" upthread pretty much covers 95% of Mail articles, especially those about deregulated broadcasting.

oh today it's notorious right-wing opinion trumpet Cheryl Baker

Who once sang on a number one record which was a coded denunciation of Thatcherism.

Classic.

Particularly the huge, grainy photo of a scantily clad teenager.

There used to be a time (admittedly, it seems like a lifetime ago) when youngsters sent out invitations. The internet has changed all that.

Oh, internet, what have you done?!?!

Was gonna start a thread about this

Their house looks suspiciously like a pub...
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_03/party1703_468x456.jpg

Oh wait there's more...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=535570&in_page_id=1770

It seems the 'house' is in fact a mansion in 20 acres of land used for conferences.

x-post

A pub full of idiots.

I missed the bit of A Clockwork Orange with the mimes.

smuggest use of sic ever

Really, REALLY thinking of pitching an article about Juggalos to the Daily Mail now. Shit would blow their minds.

The captions are the best...
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_03/MimesL1703_468x372.jpg
You looking at me? These two look to have come all the way from France

why do all the comments come from people in Australia, United Arab Emirates etc.

Tories in exile until the return of the One True Government.

Inside, as these photographs show, youngsters were jumping up and down with cans and bottles, spraying them around as though they were at a rave.

those pictures show that? that pic above looks like a rather tame night out in my local.

and "spraying them around as though they were at a rave.", no rave i ever went to did people do this.

laffable

That article is sheer awesome

The picture of all the bottles and cans sorted and crushed in recycling boxes.

"oh noes our "house" is destroyed by a wild party, but NEVER MIX GLASS AND METAL"

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/nicolebatLL_1000x895.jpg

^ <3