What beverage only comes in one flavor and takes 45 minutes to drink?
Sunny D)))
― jeevves, Thursday, 21 October 2010 11:58 (fifteen years ago)
What did the confident but slightly grubby bicycle wheelbuilder say?
"Dust me, I know what I'm truing"
― all the love sent up high to pledge won't reach the (ledge), Thursday, 28 October 2010 08:58 (fifteen years ago)
My brother, at age three, came up with:
Why did the ice cream sit on top of the refrigerator?Because it wanted to melt.
― existential eggs (Abbott), Monday, October 12, 2009 2:53 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
when I was three, the funniest joke in the world to me was:
"Knock knock""Who's there?""Green.""Green who?""Green apple!"
― WAKE UP SHEEPLEY (crüt), Thursday, 28 October 2010 09:19 (fifteen years ago)
I think this sense of humor still shines through in my choice of display names
Funny, I was just reciting the poen to myself the other week...
"You're NOT Robin Hood, and you're NOT Gunga Din"...
― Mark G, Thursday, 28 October 2010 09:22 (fifteen years ago)
What do you call a folk singer wearing cheap underwear?
Mary Chafin' Carpenter.
― The Great Cool Lulu who sleeps in Riley... (dog latin), Monday, 22 November 2010 16:40 (fifteen years ago)
LOLOL
― portrait of the artist as a yung joc (Hurting 2), Monday, 22 November 2010 16:41 (fifteen years ago)
Also awesome name for a Garbage Pail Kid imo. Twin could be Joni ITCHELL
― portrait of the artist as a yung joc (Hurting 2), Monday, 22 November 2010 16:43 (fifteen years ago)
haha!
― The Great Cool Lulu who sleeps in Riley... (dog latin), Monday, 22 November 2010 16:44 (fifteen years ago)
Where do middle-aged couples go to enjoy their second honeymoon?
Viagra Falls
― Canadian Club & Dr. Pepper (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 09:31 (fifteen years ago)
Why was Mary so uncomfortable riding a donkey?
Because it gave her bethlehemorrhoids.
― Albert mangles dwarf (NickB), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 09:44 (fifteen years ago)
Yay! One for the christmas cracker!
― Mark G, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 09:51 (fifteen years ago)
That, a hat and a fortune-telling fish - what more could you not want?
― Albert mangles dwarf (NickB), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 10:03 (fifteen years ago)
The lord is my shepherd I shall not want.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 10:05 (fifteen years ago)
Yep, novelty sheep-farming deities, do not want.
― Albert mangles dwarf (NickB), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 10:12 (fifteen years ago)
Not mine, a friend's:
What do you call a psychic who can smell the future?
Nostrildamus
― The Great Cool Lulu who sleeps in Riley... (dog latin), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 12:26 (fifteen years ago)
How do you vacuum an elephant?Put peanuts in the airlock and then fire him into space.
What is the sound of an elephant being fired into space?"Hrrmmmphhh......... ....... ..... ... .. ."
― jeevves, Thursday, 25 November 2010 04:58 (fifteen years ago)
why was o afraid of i?
because iatee
― pretty hat machine (crüt), Friday, 26 November 2010 05:51 (fifteen years ago)
Q: What's the opposite of drunken noodle?
A: Soba noodle.
― ball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 5 December 2010 00:31 (fifteen years ago)
why does julian casablancas drink fluorine?
to lower his life expectancy
― tldr swinton (nakhchivan), Sunday, 5 December 2010 00:33 (fifteen years ago)
i don't get that sunny d one
― F-Unit (Ste), Sunday, 5 December 2010 00:43 (fifteen years ago)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunn_O%29%29%29
― ball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 5 December 2010 00:44 (fifteen years ago)
q. how does emile zola relax?a. in a j'accuse-i
― shirley summistake (s1ocki), Sunday, 5 December 2010 03:27 (fifteen years ago)
Q: What is it called when a lightbulb commits a criminal offense?A: A watt-collar crime.
― avant-sarsgaard (litel), Sunday, 5 December 2010 19:30 (fifteen years ago)
Said in the accent of a southern judge, obv.
― ball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 5 December 2010 19:47 (fifteen years ago)
How many years in prison does it take to change a lightbulb?
― O Permaban (NickB), Sunday, 5 December 2010 19:52 (fifteen years ago)
?
― ball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 5 December 2010 20:09 (fifteen years ago)
oh I get it
― ball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 5 December 2010 20:11 (fifteen years ago)
I've put 2011 aside to work on the punchline.
― O Permaban (NickB), Sunday, 5 December 2010 20:12 (fifteen years ago)
It's sort of along the lines of that "How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?" joke (A: One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.)
― ball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 5 December 2010 21:08 (fifteen years ago)
i just heard one of these bazooka joe level jokes from a 4-year-old acquaintance of mine.
q: what's orange and sounds like a parrot?
a: a CARROT!!
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 5 December 2010 21:15 (fifteen years ago)
for best effect, shout the punchline while simultaneously eating something and rolling onto your back, exposing your underwear
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 5 December 2010 21:16 (fifteen years ago)
^ how I usually deliver jokes
― ball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 5 December 2010 21:26 (fifteen years ago)
the other day in the pub...
why can't brian lenihan get the irish economy moving?
cos he can't budget!
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 17:49 (fifteen years ago)
Joke headline:
Monkey House of Representatives Votes to Repeel Banana
― mandatorily joined parties (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 December 2010 03:20 (fifteen years ago)
lool
― dayo, Thursday, 16 December 2010 03:20 (fifteen years ago)
This twitter has the best bad homemade jokes I've seen:
www.twitter.com/ratedgjokes
― Lazarus Niles-Burnham (res), Thursday, 16 December 2010 05:14 (fifteen years ago)
http://twitter.com/ratedgjokes
I made up a lot of Christmas jokes when I was putting up Christmas lights a week ago.
anyways
Why did Jesus have a bad Christmas?because he found out that Santa doesn't exist
Why was Jesus sad on Christmas?because he didn't get a Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine
Why didn't Jesus get any presents on Christmas?because he's a Jew
― Help! I'm a bug (CaptainLorax), Thursday, 16 December 2010 05:41 (fifteen years ago)
def stealing that last one
― irish xmas caek, get that marzipan inta ya (a hoy hoy), Friday, 17 December 2010 10:00 (fifteen years ago)
joke to do with new year's resolution, punchline including 1280×720
― jumpskins, Saturday, 18 December 2010 19:07 (fifteen years ago)
What is Sam the Sham's favorite carnival ride?The pharaohs wheel.
― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Sunday, 19 December 2010 03:34 (fifteen years ago)
abbbottt, often i will see yr name and be reminded of a scene from 'the thick of it' (uk political sitcom) in which the press are calling for the prime minister to sack underperforming minister hugh abbott, and the headline says PM CAN'T KICK THE ABBOTT
i guess that joke was homemade to somebody, so it counts itt
― No Wicked Heart Shall Prosper.rar (nakhchivan), Sunday, 19 December 2010 03:44 (fifteen years ago)
Thanks for the Sunnn D)))) joke, I just made good use of it.
― krakow, Sunday, 19 December 2010 22:08 (fifteen years ago)
So I told that to my g/f and she countered with one of her very own...
Which is the loudest lovesong in the world?
You are the Sunn O)))shine of My Life!
I am a lucky, lucky man.
― krakow, Monday, 20 December 2010 00:12 (fifteen years ago)
whats a rastafarians favourite middle eastern country?Yemen
― straightola, Monday, 20 December 2010 13:40 (fifteen years ago)
straight giggles
― irish xmas caek, get that marzipan inta ya (a hoy hoy), Monday, 20 December 2010 14:15 (fifteen years ago)
Saudi Jah-rabia
― O Permaban (NickB), Monday, 20 December 2010 14:37 (fifteen years ago)
Jah-pan
― dayo, Monday, 20 December 2010 14:44 (fifteen years ago)
United Ar-Herb Emirates
― O Permaban (NickB), Monday, 20 December 2010 14:45 (fifteen years ago)