I'm sad

holy hell.

maybe more overtired, overworked and frayed around the edges than "sad," but it feels like sadness.

If you are at all sad, it's a heck of a lot harder to keep it at bay when you're tired and frazzled. I hope you've had some rest since you posted, and are feeling better.

i now have at least a brief break in the pressure. no rest, though. i'll work on that tonight.

it's especially hard for me when i feel this way because it causes me to be testy with my wife/daughter (not too bad, mind you), and yet they're the two people i live for.

idk. just tired, i guess.

Make sure they know you're only testy b/c of the tired, and they'll cut you all the slack you need I'm sure. Line up some really solid r'n'r for as soon as possible and, idk what works for you but a hot bath and a lot of deep breathing work magic-like effects for me.

Things haven't been great for some time now, but it's been a particularly awful couple of days. This week is 4 years since my dad killed himself. Today is the anniversary of the day that we found his body. I feel so dreadfully alone and disconnected, even from my friends and family. Almost none of my friends know about what happened, because I'm not particularly close to anyone and so it's not something that I feel all that comfortable with talking about. It's not caused me so much upset the last few years, but what with feeling at a low and fragile myself, it's really been hitting me hard this time.

i'm so sorry to read about your dad.

hey krakow you should probably talk to somebody, like a professional

I know this won't help right this moment and I respect yr boundaries about whether or not to tell people stuff, but when you don't let anyone know that you're sad, or how sad you are, you take from them the opportunity to rise to the occasion. Maybe someone you don't feel that close to now could turn out to surprise you?

Thank you all - I posted here because I've come to know over the years that there are some really great people using these forums, and I felt safe & comfortable doing so and knew that there would be sympathetic eyes reading.

Ed III, I've been doing group therapy for the last year, which hasn't changed my world, but I'm taking it slowly and still have good hopes for, so I do have regular professional contact to try and help on that front.

Laurel, you're very much right - that's something I'm aware of, but it can be hard to take that leap with people. It's something that I'm trying to do. The fact that I'm not close to people is to do with me rather than my friends for the most part, by the way.

Well, you know, sometimes when not confiding in people is what you prefer, you choose your friends along the lines of people who won't miss it that you don't confide in them -- people who might like things a little lighter or with more distance between you than other people might find comforting. So I can understand if it's hard to pick someone from the current crop and imagine changing the nature of the friendship. But maybe a new friend or a new kind of friend could lighten this time for you?

Just the opinion of someone who relies on others very much for all kinds of things.

sending thoughts and <3 your way, krakow

krakow, you seem like a totally cool dude on ilx. best wishes and stay strong.

ah, that's good to hear. sounded like you were getting kind of isolated which is not a good thing when you're getting down.

Aw man. Krakow, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine.

Oh man, krakow, I am really sorry. Count me among sympathetic eyes indeed.

much sympathy and love to you, krakow. and to you too, Daniel.

krakow, I'm sorry to hear about this.

Krakow, I only got to learn about a year or so ago, via a friend's experience

- sorry - via a friend's experience what this might feel like. I have a lot of respect for everyone who lives with that kind of experience every day and has to cope with the unpredictability of the downs. Very best wishes.

I'd just like to thank you all for your very kind words and feelings. I really appreciate it.

The fallout from what happened with my dad is unfortunately just a catalyst for, or is the most easily explained aspect of, my own personal feelings of depression, which have been around for much longer and seem to be making themselves all too prevalent in the last few months. It feels like dark dark times right now and I'm not at all sure of what's going to be the way out.

whatever you do, just keep pushing forward and try to find even the smallest of ways to make progress everyday. writing about how you feel and tracking your progress in a journal or something might help too. and keep posting here. ILX is pretty great. <3 and good vibes

Krakow, hugs, seek help if needs be.

http://i54.tinypic.com/jj1jqu.jpg

I posted to the Holiday Blues thread earlier today so I def know how shitty this can feel esp at this time of year. Hope every feels better soon.

― ★彡☆ ★彡 (ENBB), Monday, December 21, 2009 9:53 PM

huh.

biochemistry can be all over the place this time of year, even before you factor in all the other potential stresses. stay strong, sister :)

gurl

<3

<3

*message of goodwill*

lol so English! ;)

Thanks all. I'll be fine just one of days/season's whatever, I guess.

Was just thinking 'fuck this shit' and then reminding myself that this is the usual 2 or 3 day 'fuck Christmas' feeling I get every year. Should be gone by XEve.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3MCrlkdfnk

broke, need a job, no temp jobs looking since it's the holidays, need to make $400 in two weeks

not sad, but worried

I hear your Corey. I really do.

* you

thanks, res

stay strong guys, i'm also fed up and yeah mostly likely stupid seasonal reasons

holidays are the worst. be well, everyone.

I was sad but then I watched The View and now I am taking some time to enjoy ~~~the view~~~

judging u

ok, not really

http://i35.tinypic.com/2yuxabr.gif

Ida Mae Brown!!!

<3

OK that gif is perfect

oda not ida whoops

Homesick. Trying hard to throw myself into being organized & doing little things to keep my brain occupied. Get to surprise my Mum with a Skype call tomorrow (her first), which will be awesome...hopefully not counterproductive bell-jar-inducing.

Hugs to u guys. Be not sad? <3 <3

<3

broke, need a job, no temp jobs looking since it's the holidays, need to make $400 in two weeks

not sad, but worried

― =(^ • ‿‿ • ^)= (corey), Wednesday, 22 December 2010 18:07 (1 hour ago)

that's rough, but good luck & hoping something will fall yr way

and general good wishes to everyone

^^^

well, most of yous

list thread for the exceptions.

i wish u guys weren't sad. i dunno what else to say.

love and good wishes to sad ilxorres, there's so much hurry-up-and-wait as the holidays start and it's so wearying to be sad when time's hanging heavy on your hands. i hope you find things to distract away the sadness until you can feel better!

<3