ok lets all shit our pants to something new: post 2005 horror film thread

there's a lot to recommend about splice, especially with regard to the performances and the ideas that natali is playing with. it just didn't work for me. i loved the first half, but became increasingly bored and disinterested as things started to ramp up towards the end. i'm not sure why. the way over-the-top biological grotesquerie intrudes upon the lives of these nobly motivated liberal/techie canadians was strongly reminiscent of cronenberg, but the film never packed that kind of punch (for me, anyway). like it wants to be some hybrid of the brood and the fly (and frankenstein, of course), but didn't quite get there. but i'm kind of a hater in general, so...

might watch it again to see if i like it better now that i know what to expect. defnitely worked with fears of the dark, which i was ambivalent about the first time through.

yeah i have heard nothing but bad stuff about splice tbh

plz also confirm that this "legion" movie is a piece of garbage - it popped up on netflix on demand and im just assuming its a waste of time

That's weird. DVD cover art is just a knife-gouged and bloodied cutting board.

ok, there is a movie called long pig (2008) and one called long pigS (2007) both horror movies about cannibalism

that's not confusing, no not at all

plz also confirm that this "legion" movie is a piece of garbage

done

I'll have to watch Fear(s) again with that in mind. Had the same initial response.

'Splice' was a hoot in the theater. The audience reaction is as much fun as the movie itself.

the trailers for legion were v cool iirc

so maybe watch the trailer and skip the movie

yeah i have a neighbor that i hang out with while our dogs romp around and we drink beer a couple times a week that is also a horror dude and his hatred for legion was DIRE, and we agree like 90% of the time so i assumed he was otm, just expanding the polling group.

iirc he said that yes the trailers were cool and that there was no movie outside of the stuff in the trailers basically.

Well, "long pig" is just the term for a human corpse prepared as food. I'm not familiar with the other title - does look interesting. The one i'm recommending is a 2007 release that came to DVD in 2009.

ok I am watching long pig ASAP so I can say, however briefly, there is a horror movie I have seen which mr hal jam has not

Other than the diner spoiled in the trailer, Legion is awful and surprisingly dull. Stick with the Prophecy films (but only through the third) or 'Gabriel', if you insist upon more of an archangel action/horror battle royale.

yeah, i'm curious about long pig, too. long as it doesn't go quite as far as man bites dog, i should be okay...

Diner "scene"

LOL Edward. Race ya'!

'Long Pigs' doesn't go nearly as far as MBD. but it's unsettling and quite good. Post here when you guys have seen it. I'm curious to hear what you make of the epilogue scenes.

long pigs unavailable on netflix ;_;

this is probably as good a place as any to pimp Session 9 again, perfect creeeeeepy halloween movie imo

long pig also unavailable

netflix hates cannibals apparently

so im trolling the netflix new releases horror section here, and wondering if anyone wants to warn me off "Blood Creek" (yeah i know its shumacher and all but it srsly sounds gonzo insane) or "The Reeds" british thingy?

Blood Creek stars Dominic Purcell, so you know right there it is amazingly terrible

I thought Blood Creek was dumb, gory fun. Nazi zombie high/low-concept pseudo period mishmash executed with some style. Best Joel Schumacher film, for what that's worth. Give it a shot.

Reeds OTOH was a disappointment. Nonsensical ghost story with underrealized 'Timecrimes' aspirations. My guess is that the director had just watched Christopher Smith's ' Triangle.'

ok so the only other one that i keep dodging because i cant believe it is actually good is "Splinter". High reviews on Netflix, but idk, something just seems lame about it. any thoughts?

have looked at it a bunch of times, but never picked it up. concept/creature looks great, but something about the packaging bugs me. if it's got good word of mouth, i'll definitely check it out.

splinter was pretty fun iirc

yeah but is it nasty?

man i cant even remember! i was pretty stoned when my gf + i watched it, so yeah im not v helpful in this discussion :-/

:-/

nasty is like the only thing you really need to remember. but stoned is cool. cheers on that.

New scifi/horror on Netflix instant today:
976-EVIL2 (1992)
Blood and Donuts (1995)
The Curve (1998)
Diary of a Cannibal (2007)
Hangar 18 (1980)
Haunted Highway (2006)
Return of the Apeman (1944)
Rumpelstiltskin (1995)
Space Children (1958)
Ulli Lommel's Black Dahlia (2006)
Visit to a Small Planet (1960, starring Jerry Lewis and based on the play by Gore Vidal!)

If Haunted Highway is the same movie as "Death Ride" it is terrrrrrrible

and Diary of a Cannibal is also by Ulli Lommel, and he is a fucking awful hack.

Blood and Donuts looks kinda awesome tho

never saw an uli lommel film (other than his Richard Hell movie years before his recent horror run). They came out like clockwork back when I worked at a video store. what exactly are they like?

a giant fuck you btw to imdb, which now makes me click twice on Lommel's page to actually get to a link to Blank Generation. ("Yes, I want to see what he directed...yes, I want to see EVERYTHING's he's directed...")

the big problem with lommel is his churning out of like 5 serial killer movies a year direct to video, esp since they seem to have an oddly sympathetic bent a lot of the time (although never in a way that might be interesting).

also, my favorite wikipedia plot summary EVER for the film "Daniel-Der Zauberer" which should give you some great insight into his craft:

Plot
The successful singer Daniel Küblböck is "loved by millions, hated by many" (as the subtitle says). The teenagers Rike and Tom decide to kill Daniel. They are morally but not directly supported by Baltazar. Whereas Daniel gets support from his dead grandfather Johnny who mostly carries a baritone horn and a wand on his person, has sometimes just one arm and wears a cap under his top hat.

The first attempt on Daniel's life fails, because the teenagers are discovered and scared away by Daniel's vocal coach. Daniel shall take part in a screen test for Hollywood. Meanwhile Johnny and Baltazar talk with each other. Suddenly Baltazar changes Johnny into a cockroach. He assumes human shape again as he says the words: "I’m a celebrity, get me out of here!"

Later the girl Petra visits Daniel. She is a fan of Daniel and wrote him a letter before. Petra works at the café of her grandfather (Grandpa Winter) in Daniel's hometown Eggenfelden. Grandpa Winter can't stand Daniel's music and the guests of his café agree with him. Daniel samples some tortes with his finger, buys them and gives Petra two cost-free tickets for his last concert of this year that takes place in Passau.

Rike and Tom plan to shoot Daniel on the stage at this concert. But instead Rike just kidnaps Daniel and brings him to her house. Soon after that Tom arrives. Beforehand Baltazar encouraged Tom to kill Daniel once more. Tom and Rike want to film Daniel's execution, in order to become superstars themselves. When Daniel is alone in the room, his grandfather appears and emboldens Daniel to take the hardest test. Afterwards Rike and Tom don't bring off Daniel's murder. Instead of it they talk about their unhappy childhoods. Tom confesses that Daniel's latest hit song isn't bad in his opinion. Rike goes away and Tom makes a deal with Daniel. He releases Daniel and in return Daniel doesn't report the kidnap. Finally, Daniel returns to his concert. Grandpa Winter who is a concert attendee becomes convinced of Daniel and after it, he's a fan of him who behaves like a teenager.

Johnny appears again in the evening. As Daniel asked for his Christmas gift, Johnny says to him that he forgot Rike and Tom and that he shall give them his new guitar. At first, Daniel disagrees with him, but then he does it anyway, whereupon the three of them become best friends.

After all, Daniel finds a wand under the Christmas tree, with the note: "By the One-Armed". Daniel's grandma tells that her husband had just one arm. He was a musician at the Oktoberfest. She shows a picture of him and Daniel says that he appeared several times to him. His grandma says that Daniel is only allowed to use the wand in order to help people.

Johnny and Baltazar meet again. Baltazar says to him that Johnny won the fight, but the war isn't over yet and the new wizard doesn't know how to use the wand rightly.

B&D is cute. Low-key existential Canadian vampire tragicomedy, with Cronenberg as a mob boss.

Have I posted my pro-Lommel rant here yet? Can't keep track. Let's not forget that this guy was one of Fassbinder's most talented acolytes, made the brilliant 'Tenderness of Wolves' and some very interesting, very European-styled American thrillers (Brainwaves, The Devonsville Terror, Olivia, Cocaine Cowboys). His one Stateside hit, 1980's The Boogeyman, brought him into the good graces of Hollywood - whose advances he spurned with the film's sequel, as poisonous a Lala Land mash note as 'Sunset Boulevard'. sometime later, he realized that art is shit, money pays bills, and that direct-to-video serial killers and unwanted sequels can be churned out to the tune of a tidy profit. He's laughing all the way to the bank.I keep hoping that he'll pull a Boll and get around to making decent films again. He's got It in him.

976-EVIL 2 is one of Jim Wynorski's better films. So much better than Englund's crappy original, it's not even the same area code. Watch the NOTLD/It's a Wonderful Life mash-up sequence and just try not to grin.

wow at that wiki plot

New on netflix instant today:

Ghoulies II (1987)
Land of the Minotaur (1976 - Donald Pleasence and Peter Cushing!)
Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)
Stigmata (1999)

oh Stigmata is really fucking stupid

and when the dude who unironically enjoyed "Ultraviolet" is calling out a movie as stupid, that movie must be PHENOMENALLY stupid

not like I have any business calling anybody out for posting off topic (pot, kettle etc), but forks have you noticed the thread title

the "post 2005" part is that they're available for instant watching now
besides it's not like we need two active horror movie watching threads
conversation starting is a delicate art

plus i'm looking for recommendations/warnings

bonus TMI: the poster/ads for ghoulies made me terrified of toilets for several months when i was nine.

Bonus BONUS NTMI: Ghoulies was Mariska Hartigay's first film

I check this thread to find out what's happening with recent horror films, not to discuss the relative merits of the ghoulies franchise

vampyr from 1932 is streaming on netflix too, but I'd go to the streaming netflix thread if I wanted to talk about it

heed the warning about stigmata it is an unredeemable piece of shit. fucking hate that movie.

I think the only Gabriel Byrne movie I've seen that wasn't terrible was The Usual Suspects.

wait did I see Miller's Crossing? I can't remember now

if you dont like millers crossing i will be so so sad..

excalibur dude

I know I never saw Excalibur!

jjj Miller's Crossing was the movie you were raving about to Kyl3 and me in high school that you called a "stylized gangster movie" that led to 10 minutes of Kyl3 and me gangster-voguing, right? I don't think I ever saw it.

do you know if the ROTLD3 and 'Land of the Minotaur' on Netflix are the uncut versions? the R1 DVDs for both are severely edited. it makes a huge difference. the only reasons to watch LOTM are for Eno's score and for the exploding cultists during the climax. you will hear the former, but not see the latter, if this is the same print that BCI released as part of their 'Exploitation Cinema' double feature (with Norman J. Warren's sweet 'Suspiria' homage, 'Terror').

and the 'R'-rated ROTLD3 is just an insult to Screaming Mad George's insane FX. love this movie!