Dear Abbott

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/images/uploads/11-14-flymo.jpg

^^ surely mower of choice for the mowing-devil - it hovers, through use of the black arts

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff210/AccipiterF1/Venture%20Bros/venture_orpheus01.jpg

Daerest Abbott: just now I helped a student who was from Moscow, Idaho, and as you are an expert on things from Idaho I must ask if you can describe what the place is like. (Perhaps also prompted by the Yakov thread.)

in moscow idaho, potato eats oh god i cant even

Dear Ned,

The key thing to know about Moscow, ID, is it's pronounced "moss coh," not "moss cow" like Moscow, Russia. That's how to sound like an Idaho insider. It's up in the panhandle. I never visited the city itself, but the Viceroy lived there his freshman year of college – I'll get him on thread to discuss it later tonight!

Esto Perpetually,
Abbott

I think Moscow, Russia should also be pronounced Moss coh (in English, at least..in Russian it's a bit different, I think, like Mosk-va?)

was gonna say moscow as in a bovine fungal problem isn't how i'd say it, but no guarantees that i'm right on that

For the record, I would rather the devil rake my leaves than have to do it myself. DEVIL??

moffe growing vpon the skull of a cowe

I forgot all about Mowing Devil until I opened this thread. He is the best!

Dddearrr Abbbottt, how many b's and t's do you think you're going to addd to your username before it is perfect?

StanMMM

Dear Abbott, are you still in library school? How's it going?

Nick

Dear n/a,

I am still in it – the semester ends in two weeks or so. I am totally shocked how easy it is. Maybe it's just U of A's program? Anyway, my husband and I are both in the program and I am going to quit after this semester. I think the chances of both of us landing a library job in the same town are near impossible, and he's more into the end goal than I am. I'm applying for another grad program to get a Masters of Education, to teach. If I don't get in, I might go back and finish the MLS.

Web 2.0ly,

Abbott

Dear StanM,

Already I feel one could easily say "cant go with u too many bbbs" so this is the max.

bbtbtbtbbbbbbttttbbo

could inhibit your becoming the teacher that trains kids for the spelling bee, is my reservation on that

That's interesting. I wouldn't say the program at Illinois was "easy," but on the other hand I never got a grade below an A-. I feel like I had to put in a fair amount of work to get those grades though. So not really hard, just work-intensive. But I think Illinois and UNC tied for the top-ranked MLS programs in the country, don't know how good U of A's program is supposed to be.

I put in about 3 hours a week total between both my classes, getting As.

Here's a diagram I made for some lesson about relational databases

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/1689/erdiagram.jpg

Ned,

Moscow, Idaho is a small town with a large college population, as the only things of note there is a big train depot that handles a lot of the cargo coming from Portland/Seattle/etc, and the University of Idaho. the U of I is a large, sprawling campus that is a real pain in the ass to get around on because they built it all on a bunch of different hills, some very steep! It is quite beautiful in the autumn, but the winters are fairly extreme and last too long.

Things to do in Moscow include watching indie bands that are on tour in the Northwest, going to college house parties, and buying some pretty good pot. Watch out though, because one time I got pot from non-hippies and it was totally laced with PCP! That was not a fun weekend...

KUOI, the college radio station, is a great free-form station that is generally run by audiophiles, complete music obsessios, and hipsters.

There is also a really nice farmer's market every Saturday downtown where you can buy shit like buffalo steaks, giant ears of corn, and of course, organic Idaho potatoes.

If you happen to be around there I recommend a visit, since it is a really beautiful part of the country IMO. But, coming from someone who lived there, it is not a fun place to live. In fact you could probably skip it and just go to McCall, which is just as beautiful but also has more stuff going on.

Yours Truly,
Mr. Abbott, aka Viceroy

it was totally laced with PCP!

whoa, wait, does this actually happen? Because once in high school, we smoked some weed and were told later that night that it was possibly laced with PCP, and at the time we all believed it. I mean, it was like what terrified 1963 parents who have never done any drugs probably thought pot was like - REALLY seeing things, blue hallucinations, weird. Later on, in retrospect, I told myself that there was no way it could have been laced, because who the hell would waste extra drugs on a bag of dirtweed for a bunch of kids?

re: MLS program, K is a MLS grad and frequently tells me that it was mind-numbingly easy. which of course tells me that if i hang up this whole dumb indie business owner thing im going full throttle library school.

so what you're trying to say is, I'm STUPID

and my career choice is just a FALL-BACK JOB for YOU

YES!

wait no

tbh it was kinda shocking to me but K was a hardcore lit major at l3w1s and cl4rk which i hear is a bit of a bonecrusher so her perspective might be a bit skewed

Dear Abbott,

Everything I've read of yours suggests that you've got the razor sharp mind + steely determination that marks out the really damn good teachers. But what do you think would be the hardest thing about teaching?

Admiringly,

ljubljana

Hey ljub,

I am mega flattered by your question. I think the hardest thing would be noticing which kids are subtly falling through the cracks and making sure to really help them out. If someone's just kind of quietly unremarkable, how do you notice and help turn that around?

I also think the following would be hard, because I have a hard time with it in day to day life as I think many people do: really working at not having preconceived notions of a person.

Adverbly,

Abbott

xp to zs - i got dosed with laced weed in college and spent my evening visiting narnia and talking with a singing showerhead so if those sensations kicked in i would say you got extra bang for your buck for some reason. maybe your dealer mixed up the baggies?

Dear Abbott,

How can i get my wife to initiate the sex more often?

xp: oh, i can see that. like he had a diversified client base or something.

Dear Chris,

Do her least favorite chores and errands for her. Then when she's like, "Man, I love how you do all this shit I really hate without asking," be like, "I love when you initiate sex, baby." And then when she initiates sex, do all her favorite sex stuff, and then when it's over emphasize that it was really hot and sexy and <3 sexing because she initiated sex. Also definitely don't bring it up in a fight: "ANd, and – and – why don't you ever initiate sex? it's always me doing it!" (TBH I am #1 guilty of pulling this move)

Alternate answer:

http://neurology.ucsf.edu/msc/images/exercises/shoulder_shrug.jpg
*shrug*

Gender essentially,

Abbott

Dear Abbott,

I just wanted to let you know that "Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret" proves you have wit comin' out of your damn ears and I'm mad I didn't think of it first. Also, I want to watch musicals with you.

xokjb

Hey KJB,

I was just thinking about how it would be fun to watch musicals with you last night at a local video store that an an impressively large selection of musicals. They were all on VHS! I decided that 2011's new year's resolution will be to watch more musicals.

<3 Abbott

Dear Abbott,

What can I do to be as awesome and cool as you? I try very hard but never seem to approach Abbott levels of pure genius and greatness. Is it something that takes practice or were you just born this cool? Please let me know, I am a coolaholic and need to find ways to increase my cool intake. Thank you!

-- Tangled-up in Tucson

Dear the Viceroy,

You are as cool as they come, dude! You already do all the chores and are the best hangout pal, I don't know what you could do to be cooler.

Disgustingly,

Abbott

Would it make him a tiny bit cooler if he were to purchase a complete collection of tuning forks?

me me me me meeeee

Dear Abbott-

Below are the odds I will be in the downtown Tucson area drinking alcoholic beverages on nights this weekend:

Thursday night - 25% chance
Friday night - 75% chance
Saturday night - 100% chance

(nb I will be wearing a white tuxedo jacket on Saturday night)

Please reply with the odds that you will be doing the same on the corresponding days.

I know you asked abbbbbottttt, but I want to post my own probabilities of drinking in the Tucson area this weekend:

Thursday night - 0% chance
Friday night - 2% chance
Saturday night - 0% chance

Just wanted to add an element of suspense to yr Friday night

http://uanews.org/node/6357

hahaha

Ohhh boy Gr8080,

For some reason I thought you were coming into town Nov. 4 and wondewred what happened there. Mystery solved. My odds of being able to do a thing on those nights correlate really well to your odds. OTOH I have approx $0.00 right now. If you wanted to come over and play a round of Jeopardy! on the PS2 I would be down, but I don't have money for spirits right now.

Dengue it all!

Abbott

grady's buyin

I just saw some people today have a 20 minute fight over who was going to buy the other a soda. It qualified as "fucking insane display of stubbornness" imo.

Thought that said sofa

grady's buyin
--BIG MUFFIN (gbx)

OTM I will get a few rounds if you wanna come out. I'm gonna be broing down though so will have to decline your PS2 invite.

what if we set up a paypal account so ILXors could purchase drinks for ppl attending faps they can't attend? I think this could be a fun tradition.

Gr80, that is the best idea ever.

Abbott-

need yr input here:

Can't make a FAP? Buy a drink anyway.

o i wish i was in tucson
hooray
hooray

Once went to a shady bar in Tucson with a bunch of regulars who really didn't seem to appreciate our enthusiastic, youthful presence. There was a movie theater popcorn machine in the corner with a note on it saying DO NOT TOUCH.

The chirpy guy I was visiting pointed it out and whispered surreptitiously to me, "I've been in here before where it's been an issue, that machine… you really don't want to touch that."