Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

'ghouls' as used by the big man here would imply that ppl were tuning in hoping that... they were gonna see someone die or something? I don't claim to have a working knowledge of the inside of the GBP's collective head but I'm preeeeeetty sure that wasn't the case by and large

Amazing health and safety whinge at the end there, IN THE SAME ARTICLE as him highlighting the poor, erm, health and safety on British building sites. Astonishing piece of doublethink there.

Otherwise, he isn't that far away from the line Morbs and LJ were taking on the other thread.

Kudos for finding the twisted logic necessary to argue that NOT caring about the plight of foreigners makes him morally superior to those who do.

Littlejohn lives in Florida, so by his own argument, why should he care (or write about) what happens in the UK?

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Friday, October 15, 2010 7:31 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Preeeeeeeetty sure he doesn't.

― Ain't Too Proud to Neg (Noodle Vague), Friday, October 15, 2010 7:32 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

He's got houses in Florida and London.

Pretty sure he doesn't care what happens in the UK, obv.

WTF at the picture used to illustrate this story?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1321025/Disability-checks-force-400-000-work.html

he has been frozen in that position since 2003 and can do nothing but scream silently and claim benefits

"(Posed by model)"

won't get off the couch for less than £10K

Yet again, Liz Jones brings the WTF:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1323183/Wayne-Rooney-A-leather-sofa-wont-bring-happiness.html

Wayne Rooney "is not a fully-rounded human being, and probably hasn’t even read the new Jonathan Franzen novel"

Asian kids do not become professional footballers because "their parents don’t allow them to spend hours kicking a ball. They must do their homework in order to become a doctor, lawyer or a businessman"

Add in a dose of "Italians all cheat on their wifes, and everyone who cheats on their wife is probably secretly gay anyway" for good measure.

str8 homophobia in the first para, lovely that they can still get away with that kind of thing.

loooooooooooooool

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Oct/Week4/15775444.jpg

BOOM

They've got a leg and two arms, haven't they?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1325003/End-benefits-hysteria-ministers-demand-new-figures-demolish-claims-cities-cleansed-poor.html

Rather than lose their tenants, the Government expects the vast majority of private landlords – already accused of milking the taxpayer – to cover the shortfall by making a small reduction in their rents.

gosh, why didn't i think of this before? private landlords will be more than happy to reduce their profits to help the government out with their reduction in housing benefits.

oh no i forgot, these are the times when government doesn't tell anyone what to do, they just get on with it themselves, i.e. 2 fingers dave to your dumb ideas we'll just charge what we like and a bit more if we feel like it.

and lest we forget: BENEFITS HYSTERIA

i half expect a chugger to come up to me and say 'hey, we'd love there to be less hysteria around benefits wouldn't we?'

You've got to laugh

After the game on Tuesday night, the comedian Michael McIntyre came into the manager's office. All Michael wanted to do was to meet Gareth Bale.

Michael is the funniest man in Britain, a comedy genius who sold more than a million copies of his last stand-up DVD. He's a star in his own right, but wanted to meet his new hero. Then he was lost for words when Gareth came in to say hello!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1326413/Jamie-Redknapps-guide-Tottenhams-Gareth-Bale.html

That story's written like a children's book.

LIKE MCINTYRE'S ENTIRE SET THEN

One of those books you send off for where your child's name, hometown, school, etc., are placed in appropriate points in the text.

'Michael heard a noise in the chimney. Suddenly Santa Claus appeared in the fireplace. "Are you Michael McIntyre the famous and popular comedian?", asked Santa. Michael replied "Yes I am.". "Good, " said Santa, "because I need your help to annoy the living shit out of everyone in London tonight."'.

The secret is playing good players in the best positions: Bale, a left-sided player on the left side, Luka Modric in central midfield. There's no point having a jigsaw, if you can't put it together.

haha xp

need more mention of daily mail's shitty graphics

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/11_02/ManCityFergie0811_482x449.jpg

It's like a little red portal into another dimension!

the url has installed in me the notion that Fergie, the pop singer, should release a single called 'Man City'

Hang on, when did LJ sign for Man City?

it's true

Gareth Barry won't be on dis ting: Champions League and Europa League 09/10

http://gadgets.boingboing.net/gimages/portal_view_1.jpg

Silva's shit beard thru me off before

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1328832/Toytown-Trots-Twitter-Trumpton-tuition-fee-riots.html

Littlejohn a Half Man Half Biscuit fan? I can... kind of see that tbh

confirmed, although the reference seems to imply he thinks they are literally composed of 50 per cent human flesh, 50 per cent biscuit:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1206415/And-thought-WPCs-burqas-ridiculous.html

OK, so Littlejohn is now on a 'bet' to insert as many HMHB song titles into his stories?

(and they are stories!)

I was researching something about Kent State a while back and the cartoonist/pundit Al Capp said "the real Kent State martyrs were the kids in uniforms". Littlejohn's column reminds me of that.

This is all kinds of special:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1328703/Two-faces-Armistice-Day-Boy-brimming-pride-fanatics-burning-hate.html

Best and worst rated (guess which is which) comments: "This article is just about whipping up hatred against a community" & "How is all the photos show police arresting EDL supporters and none of the scum Muslim traitors"

Funny how there's not been a photo of the "enormous poppy on fire" yet.

It's in the Express.

Although tbf it could just be a big bit of red paper.
http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/285x214/211097_1.jpg

I wonder where they got it?

Oddly reminiscent of the piles of burning poppies in Afghanistan.

He probably doesn't worry about falling house prices or the evils of multiculturalism, but does North Korea's "Dear Leader" Kim Jong-il satisfy a secret hunger for celebrity news by reading MailOnline? The Daily Mail's rapidly expanding website has two unidentified users there, Mail sources say. Intriguingly, recent postings by one North Korean mystery reader betray a curious obsession with Lady Gaga, one of the many showbiz stars MailOnline writes about regularly.

Like the last anti-soldier muslim protest covered in the victim-culture press, that one seems to consist of about 30 people, at most? Mountain out of molehill.

OK which of yuo jokers is responsible for this comment:

I think it is high time we took back the control of our country from Brussels and from the politicians in Westminster. A military coup, which set out to uphold our basic freedoms and rid us of Islamic extremists, left wing communists, benefit scroungers and illegal immigrants, is long overdue. I would love to see the reaction of Abu Hamza et al should we wake up one morning to find all radio and TV channels airing the coronation ceremony of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, army snipers on the rooftops in the city of London, with tanks at every major junction flying the Union Jack.

5 years of military rule, in which we saw the restitution of capital and corporal punishment, the repeal of the human rights act, our withdrawal from the EU, and the restoration of the principle of a fair day's work for a fair day's pay in productive and meaningful work, would purge this nation of the toxic substances that currently run through the veins of this once glorious nation.

well!

The Pervez Musharraf Solution, like it.

that's not the name i would have put on it! but ok

A children's shop has removed toy pigs from farmyard sets in case they offend Muslims and Jews.

"This is political correctness gone loopy."

Not just mad. LOOPY!

netmums? are they in a turf war with mumsnet?

we need a mumsnetmums coalition

the restoration of the principle of a fair day's work for a fair day's pay in productive and meaningful work

When was this ever a principle? I'm fully behind the posters other ideas obv.