Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

i would seriously and anonymously send her this ^^ link

I'd send it not anonymously! I'd lean over her cubicle going OMG HAVE YOU READ THIS OMG THIS IS BAAAAD

Watch her freak out and stop eating popcorn.

Buy her loads more so she dies, problem solved.

^likes

I'm seriously considering these ideas, she is on her SECOND bag of popcorn since she got here 40 minutes ago.

I mean, its 8:30 in the morning ffs. Who eats two bags of popcorn for breakfast???

last night I was at the movie theatre eating popcorn and I thought of this thread and thought of someone consuming that much popcorn in a day and it ruined the popcorn for me. so now i have a vested interest in this.

like you should buy all the popcorn in a 30 mile radius and destroy it

Find a well throw her in it then bury her in popcorn.
Only flaw is she may eat her way out and tell police or HR on you.

this last two weeks is just killing me, it was so peaceful before.

if I review your work (which is one of my responsibilities) and find you made a significant mistake on something that impacts another team, and I tell you that day to fix it immediately, and you let four business days pass without giving me any update, and when I ask you what's up, you say "oh sorry I've been super busy, I'll do it today", and then you don't do it...that's the point I stop talking to you and start talking to your manager.

Unreal.

Jeez, sounds like you need to start throwing furniture. People obv aren't taking you seriously.

this has been a truly abnormal month. I usually don't have this many issues at the same time. This person though would be wise to do the right thing as this gets documented permanently, so there's no chance of anybody 'forgetting'.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/curbly_uploads_production/photos/0000/0009/0445/real-genius-laser.jpghttp://members.arstechnica.com/x/razak/realgenius_popcorn.jpghttp://brainsonfire.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/dr-hathaways-house.jpghttp://25.media.tumblr.com/SwB8yjjD2llurw6spLQhH9AVo1_500.png

That very scene has passed through my head more than a few times over the last month.

I mean, seriously. That's too much popcorn. Your only hope is that she contracts diverticulitis.

Does she eat anything else? Are these the 100 calorie light popcorn bags? Maybe she has an eating disorder.

oh she definitely has an eating disorder

I've never seen her eat anything else at the office, she never leaves for lunch. Just the popcorn.

She basically shouldn't still be ALIVE.

need stealthy pic of her eating.

Maybe she'll get scurvy, lose teeth, and be unable to chew anymore popcorn.

you should try to wean her onto more appropriate corn-based meals as a way to convert her to real food. like make her grits for breakfast, for example.

Well now I want this "how long to die of malnutrition" experiment to continue why because it look intersteing.

the popcorn diet

Because I'm dumb enough to be using my real (but very common) name, I always half-expect revives here to be my co-workers finsing me out.

Find a well throw her in it then bury her in popcorn.
Only flaw is she may eat her way out and tell police or HR on you.

Tried to find pic of Lucy Liubots eating way out of popcorn and spitting it at everyone but failed.

i've given up on having a good day this month. every day in the past two weeks has begun with something annoying or infuriating. the only saving grace has been the texts my new ladyfriend has sent each morning wishing me a good day, otherwise I'd flip out.

course once I leave work everything's fine!

Does that mean you bring a bad energy and tension level to the workplace that makes things flip out?

four years ago, yea that would have been true. but generally once I get home and recharge I forget the events of the day, and I've arrived here in pretty high spirits 4-5 days in a row only to have it dashed by things that have generally occurred in the first half hour.

It won't last forever, everything is cyclical, it's jsut frustrating.

Okay, I am putting way more energy into thinking and posting about this than I should, but its getting too incredulous to not document. She left the office at about 12:15 today and I was thinking, "wow, she is actually going out to get lunch... good for her". That is until she came back with six huge boxes of individual microwave popcorn packets. Maybe she is just super cheap?

At this point I would just say to her "you are a walking science experiment to me. Do you take a multivitamin? Is this a diet or just OCD behavior? Tell me about your life" and hope that the attention rattles her enough to quit eating that shit at work.

I thought about having some popcorn the other night, thought about this thread and had some ice cream instead.

ha ha!

ain't gonna lie, went to microwave my food at lunch and saw a chick with just a bag of popcorn (which is forbidden to be popped on this floor) and I thought maybe yer employee got fired and got a job here....

i am feeling much better from earlier. management had my back on something when I needed them to and it really turned the day around

You guys she had soup for lunch!

popcorn soup?

that's like methadone for popcorn eaters

was it corn chowder

Not sure what kind it was, wasn't close enough to determine that. It did not have any distinct smell, that I can tell you.

what do popcorn farts smell like btw

orville redenbackers asshole.

am i at work, or in a playground ?

WHO THE FCK KNOWS ANYMORE!

jon I recommend u get an mp3 of the song "popcorn" and play it on repeat, til she gets it.

PS this may never happen so be prepared to go mental.

stick with chiptunes. there is an infinite variety of popcorn chiptunes for some reason.

Guys she ate J1mmy J0hn's yesterday. And zero bags of popcorn that I saw. Breakthrough? Temporary diversion? Stay tuned.

Either stop sucking your fucking teeth and making stupid clicky noises, or visit the fucking dentist, for fuck's fucking sake.

― James Mitchell, Monday, 11 October 2010 09:11 (1 week ago) Bookmark

Still doing this. Every 30 seconds for eight hours a day. Cunt.

get a power washer and blast her mouth.

hey boss how the fuck am i supposed to calculate how much coffee we waste?

Hahaha, and she's back. Third bag so far today!