(Alarum, voices in the courtyard)
But hush, what commotion is this? Methinks the king or someone else arrives. I'll to to the arrass, conceal myself and watch what business shall unfold!
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 05:23 (twenty-one years ago) link
― JM, Monday, 28 October 2002 05:24 (twenty-one years ago) link
*waits for rim shots*
― JM, Monday, 28 October 2002 05:25 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 05:30 (twenty-one years ago) link
THE KING OR SOMEONE ELSE: Lord, what fools these mortals be!Paying me money for what they get for free.
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 October 2002 05:30 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 05:33 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 October 2002 05:43 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:07 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:15 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:18 (twenty-one years ago) link
[Prompter under the floorboards, urgent hiss: 'The script! The script!']
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:22 (twenty-one years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:23 (twenty-one years ago) link
LADY JACKSON: Oh fool, what brings you to this chamber?Prithee tell, what gossip you may bear.Does the King molest the boys?Or has he bought more expensive toys - Or both! We cannot ever knowwhat Michael has, but doesn't show.
― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:26 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:31 (twenty-one years ago) link
(exeunt)
― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:34 (twenty-one years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:34 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:40 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:45 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 07:00 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 07:11 (twenty-one years ago) link
OL' DIRTY BASTARD: Hark, the Wu-Tang Clan have stumbled upon this merry gathering.GZA: Hear ye! Hear ye! My prose will go uncontested,I shan't be bestedAt my own game, old Willy be the manbut he's long dead,weavils and slugs bore through his head,So I henceforth proclaim this nigga be bus'ed.
― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 28 October 2002 07:17 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 07:24 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 07:45 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 07:51 (twenty-one years ago) link
CURTAINEnd of Act One
ACT TWOThe imperial bedroom suite at Neverland. A cock crows. Rays of morning sun illuminate the elaborate plastic drapes of the king's oxygen tent.
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 08:17 (twenty-one years ago) link
― suzy (suzy), Monday, 28 October 2002 08:57 (twenty-one years ago) link
LADY JACKSON: (Outside bedroom door) My Lord? Are you awake?
THE KING: Come... come in?
LADY JACKSON: I think I'll just stay here, by your leaveI don't want any nasty surprises like last time, my liege.Just to say Phoebus has risen, it's soonTime for your portrait with the artist, Jeff Koons.Do you need any help picking out hairSkin from the closet, or a nice face to wear?
THE KING: Away, woman, fie, I don't need your helpI can do all those things pretty much by myselfBut one thing thou couldst do -- if you see Dr WaxTell him to bring an iron and a couple of skin grafts.
LADY JACKSON: Very well. Oh, just one more thingThere's a new Beatles songbook someone's publishingIt's stuffed full of songs you own and can singDo you want me to push it under the door?
THE KING: Very well, push it under. I'll sing them in the shower.
― Momus (Momus), Monday, 28 October 2002 09:06 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Maccauley, Monday, 28 October 2002 09:09 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Miss Laura, Monday, 28 October 2002 10:22 (twenty-one years ago) link
Pose this question, if you will How'd my brother get so...shrill?Is it genes and would you botherTurning white to deny your father?
A music man from Gary, IndianaHit his kids with a rusty spannerWrenched from reality Precocious musicalityThe rod unspared in discipline's totality
Brother mine should tread with careVictims turned bullies are not so rareSpoiling kiddies with his piebald rodThe Fool is he,Not that Yankovic sod
― suzy (suzy), Monday, 28 October 2002 10:59 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Miss Laura, Monday, 28 October 2002 11:57 (twenty-one years ago) link
O Fortuna, whom the King hast spurnedCast off, it seems your wheel has turnedAnd landed us in a red-lit quarterWhere profits slump like ice to waterInstead of beating Britney SpearsHe owes us payment in arrearsSo now the choice - O, heart is sore!To go now to the breach once more?Pour funds into his holy war?Commission posters, four by four?Or double back the way we came?For though steeped in this stream of shameWhere walking on or walking backWill doubtless make us just as blackIt seems, to beat a fast retreatWill better serve our balance sheet
But hark now! Who is this young coquettishSent hither to quench the King's old fetish?
― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Monday, 28 October 2002 12:51 (twenty-one years ago) link
SIR PAUL: Fie on thee, thy scurvy dog,The Queen art mine, mine, mine,
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 October 2002 12:58 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 October 2002 13:03 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 October 2002 13:58 (twenty-one years ago) link
(sorry)
― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 28 October 2002 14:01 (twenty-one years ago) link
(SIR PAUL falls to the floor, seemingly paralyzed before THE KING. Enter SIR MICK, who upon seeing the tableau, cries out)
SIR MICK:I find myself in a state of incapacitation, where you my King, have placed me.
(SIR MICK falls to the floor next to SIR PAUL)
― J (Jay), Monday, 28 October 2002 14:15 (twenty-one years ago) link
KINGAye, but what perplexes me,Is the nature of thy game.(To Sir Paul)Waste not thy time, for the Queen is mine
SIR PAUL: She has but this night confidedThat I be her eternal lover.
KING:After me, she said, she will ne'er love another.Begone! Thou mak'st me want to scream.
Exeunt all except The King
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 October 2002 16:23 (twenty-one years ago) link
O calumny thou hast torn my life askew!
Of trees and hungry starved there are few;
Yet I as Messiah will speak my peace,
Brave children I shall enlist, low in grease,
For minor are my misfortunes to God,
When considereth thou the wretched law of Sod,
I am the light which earth shalt illumine,
To banish hellwise bowls for Columbine.
What of the trees? What of the dying birds?
What of the children whom I mistake not for turds?
For God am I, I am namdam forsooth,
Or would be had not Randy robbed me of wisdom tooth...
Enter abruptly SIR JARVAIS OF COCKAIGNE:
SIR JARVAIS:
"Begone, false prophet, for thou durst speakest tosh!
Your pitiful pretensions are unfit e'en for nosh!
Roaches shalt never climb your quadruple-garotted walls,
As evidenced by your lack of recordings by the Falls.
For Princess Janet hath taken all thy cred,
Whilst thou indulgest in filth and sausage atop thy bed!
She now hath the trust of Courtier Beenieman
Whilst you would be fortunate to attract a 90-summers-old Exeter fan!
I embrace the future, Ladytron and Electralane,
Thou wretched sneitch, doomest e'ermore to Sir Toby Keith's pain!
He blows his bottom at THE KING and exits, stage left.
― Chas Lamb, Monday, 28 October 2002 16:43 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 October 2002 16:58 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 October 2002 16:59 (twenty-one years ago) link
(Curtain)
― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 28 October 2002 17:00 (twenty-one years ago) link
― anthony easton (anthony), Monday, 28 October 2002 17:04 (twenty-one years ago) link
ACT THREEThe business district of an unnamed American city with lots of buildings and signs in it that often include the words 'New Yorke.'
THE KING enters.]
THE KINGHaving thus confounded this mighty woundI must now confront the evils of this landFor my home realm now falls prey to YorkeAnd a new city raises itself in mockeryTo my plans and devices for a golden age Of glory against the forces of despiteWho would yet seek to destroy what I hold dear.What horrors are seen here among these citizens!Picks up a Village VoiceSome scribblers here proclaim the sons of YorkeTo be the bearers of deep meaning and truthA HEALEY, so-named, yet he cannot heal his soulAnd a Lord MARTIN who clearly wets his bedOr some uncouth former ally of the Sony boardOnce said in a moment of outraged passionBrought on by excess of red meat and wine.Nay nay, I must fight this idiocy sublimeFor the world will understand how I championTheir causes and dreams, their deep motives.
Enter a CITIZEN, dressed in strange and colourful garb.
Good dweller of this land! I am here to free theeFrom the horrible bonds of YORKE that have ensnaredYou and your fellow dwellers for too long.Come follow me, your rightful lord and master!
CITIZEN'Sblood, thou stinkard, remove thy prating folliesFrom this fair island that truly inhabits the centerOf the Known Universe (or so I keep hearing from othersWho have never in fact left it to live elsewhere).We have no need of thy follies anymore now that we haveA truer set of lords and masters.
THE KING But Yorke!He is no king of thine.
CITIZEN Yorke is but a chimera In these days of plenty and calm. We now worshipThe better sovereigns of a truly New Yorke -- The good lords CASABLANCAS and NELLY, and not only themBut the mighty Queen MISSY and her oft-talked frappeNot to mention Princess AGUILERA and her tantrum fitsAnd the Northern Duchess LAVIGNE, who speaks of Bois.These in fact give us the hope and reaches we needIn this time when chimpanzees pretend to rule the landFrom houses painted in white and surrounded by guards.For we must have a modern hope and not thy spewings.
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 October 2002 17:15 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 October 2002 17:26 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 October 2002 17:53 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 October 2002 18:37 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jel -- (jel), Monday, 28 October 2002 19:00 (twenty-one years ago) link
KING: What manner of monster are thee? Why hast thou daughter forsaken me in my need? My kingdom for a pie! My kingdom for a pie!
― jel -- (jel), Monday, 28 October 2002 19:07 (twenty-one years ago) link
exeunt
― J (Jay), Monday, 28 October 2002 19:35 (twenty-one years ago) link
THE KINGI have been studying how I may compareThis prison where I live unto the world:And for because the world is populousAnd here is not a creature but myself,I cannot do it; yet I'll hammer it out.The better sort,As thoughts of things divine, are intermix'dWith scruples and do set the word itselfAgainst the word:As thus, 'Come, little ones,' and then again,'It is as hard to come as for a camelTo thread the postern of a small needle's eye.'
[grabs crotch]
Thus play I in one person many people,And none contented: sometimes am I king;Then treasons make me wish myself a beggar,And so I am: then crushing penuryPersuades me I was better when a king;Then am I king'd again: and by and byThink that I am unking'd by Sneddon,And straight am nothing: but whate'er I be,Nor I nor any man that but man isWith nothing shall be pleased, till he be easedWith being nothing. Music do I hear?
[Thriller motif sounds offstage; faint laughter of Vincent Price]
Ha, ha! keep time: how sour sweet music is,When time is broke and no proportion kept!So is it in the music of men's lives.And here have I the daintiness of earTo cheque time broke in a disorder'd string;But for the concord of my state and timeHad not an ear to hear my true time broke.
[more offstage music; faint “the kid is not my son”]
Now sir, the sound that tells what hour it isAre clamorous groans, which strike upon my heart,Which is the bell: so sighs and tears and groansShow minutes, times, and hours: but my timeRuns posting on in Sneddon's proud joy,While I stand fooling here, his Jack o' the clock.This music mads me; let it sound no more;For though it have holp madmen to their wits,In me it seems it will make wise men mad.Yet blessing on his heart that gives it me!For 'tis a sign of love; and love to MichaelIs a strange brooch in this all-hating world.
[Blackout; offstage whisper: “who's bad?”]
― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Friday, 21 November 2003 21:33 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 21 November 2003 21:35 (twenty years ago) link
― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Friday, 21 November 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 21 November 2003 21:46 (twenty years ago) link
LADY LATOYA[madly] You there, Foo, come heel to me. And Your Highness,I request an audience to dsicussA mattter most urgent. Prithee, draw near.[aside]What fortune, what chance! With these steps my planNears fruition! The players set, curtainReady, my scheme -- but hold! Tis time![to both]Far be it for one of my station lowTo pose this query so: if this drama be,And more, be true, should not you, rustic clown,Speak free from poesie and rather in proseTo designate proper your vulgar place? Unless! Unless! Yes, there is more, and less!I have stumbled on a masquerade,The Fool, true King, whilst yon Jackson -- knave!
[The King's face begins to melt]
LADY LATOYA Mine eyes! His nose detached and fall'n! Syphilitic?Plastic alchemy 'come parasitic?
― Leee Majors (Leee), Saturday, 22 November 2003 02:46 (twenty years ago) link
Though my enemies fade meI am innocent of these foul crimesand though this judge dost lord o'er mestill I shall dance atop this SUV.
― J (Jay), Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:29 (twenty years ago) link
― emily shitzuo, Saturday, 17 January 2004 19:51 (twenty years ago) link
― Johnney B (Johnney B), Sunday, 18 January 2004 00:10 (twenty years ago) link
― Girolamo Savonarola, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 20:56 (nineteen years ago) link
IT IS TIME!
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 30 January 2005 23:34 (nineteen years ago) link
Enter THE KING, MISS JANET, SIR PAUL, SIR MICK, the consul for the defence URI GELLER and for the prosecution ALEX IN NYC.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 30 January 2005 23:47 (nineteen years ago) link
THE KING: Actually, not since 1986.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 30 January 2005 23:56 (nineteen years ago) link
THE KING: 'Tis just another part of me.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 30 January 2005 23:58 (nineteen years ago) link
― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 31 January 2005 00:50 (nineteen years ago) link
ALEX IN NYC: let the wide arch of brooklyninto the foaming hudson fallbefore these many-cursed villainsonce more attain their liberty. It out-Herods Herod! ha! liberty! what is itbut a yet more spacious cage within whichreprobates and traitors ply their schemes? but let us quiet! - the trial begins!
(aside)i'll daub it thus for now, outrage seeming heaped on outrage until the jurors beg heaven to contend against such villainy! then i'll 'minster the fatal blow; when bashir speaks, the noose will follow!
― debden, Monday, 31 January 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link
― adam.r.l. (nordicskilla), Monday, 31 January 2005 16:16 (nineteen years ago) link
― debden, Monday, 31 January 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link
― Captain GRRRios' Giggletits (Barima), Monday, 31 January 2005 17:30 (nineteen years ago) link
ALEX IN NYC:From what Planet, sirrah, do you come? Are you ignorant, or are you simply dumb--The King of Pop, he stands afore your eyes No Fool would miss such lame disguise.
Enter one of the KING's minions, leading a strange beast on a leash
KING: Ah, 'tis CaliBubbles! Speak, CaliBubbles, speak!
CALIBUBBLES: Ooo! Oooo! Oooo! Eeee! Eee! Eee!
Chorus of JACKSON WASSAILERS: "...Easy as one, two, three."
― The Mad Puffin, Monday, 31 January 2005 17:57 (nineteen years ago) link
― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 31 January 2005 18:24 (nineteen years ago) link
― debden, Monday, 31 January 2005 18:34 (nineteen years ago) link
― The Mad Puffin, Monday, 31 January 2005 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link
HARK! THE JURY SITS!
― debden, Monday, 31 January 2005 19:08 (nineteen years ago) link
― polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 31 January 2005 19:13 (nineteen years ago) link
― The Mad Puffin, Monday, 31 January 2005 19:58 (nineteen years ago) link
Have to agree. His appeal, while maddening, is relentless. Of all the collected wisdom on my personal site, this picture accounts for half of the hits every day, gratis, ususally, google image search. Okay, maybe wisdom is the wrong word...
― EComplex (EComplex), Monday, 31 January 2005 20:45 (nineteen years ago) link
an image
― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 03:00 (nineteen years ago) link
― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 03:01 (nineteen years ago) link
― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 03:02 (nineteen years ago) link
Enter TIMBERLAKE.
TIMBERLAKE aside:As the path of the sunne in yon skyTh'arc of Fame doth live, and doth die.Renown once held must in some wise stopI shall usurp his crown of Pop.
Once I was but a mere Boy amongst a band.My moves were freshe, but my beats, they were bland.Then a vexèd wardrobe shocked each rubeNow my Fame rests on one piercèd boob.
― The Mad Puffin, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 14:52 (nineteen years ago) link
TIMBERLAKE:as with you my liege'tis but the native hue of resolutionsicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought
THE KING:damned insolence! (aside)yet this leads nowherei shall consult my soothsayer! call geller!
enter GELLER
THE KING: is't true soothsayerthat in the movement of swallowso'erarching the cerulean firmamentthat shadowy arc which divides men from stars thou can'st divine man's fortunes?
GELLER:in nature's infinite book of secrecy A little I can read
THE KING: pray then, foresee my fate
GELLER:thou shalt be innocent until the army of exeterdoth topple to the rude shockof manchestrian onslaughts
THE KING: 'tis good
GELLER: till iron spoons bend and watches wake from dusty deathyour kingdom will endure
THE KINGexcellent soothsayer!
― debden, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link
i cry for thee, jacksonthese tears shall cleanse
THE KING:do not despair your majestie!for my plans never cease to bei now must cultivate an armyan army of leprechauns from thee!
THE KING OF IRELAND:but what ambitions and what tomfoolery a plan this could behow must you convince the Mother Of Nature to provide you with many a stormmany a rainmany a drizzlemany an interrupting Sunto allow many a rainbow for which thy must find all these pots o gold, ye pop king, dare i ask?
THE KING:begorrah!i may exist on thee plain of a pauper in these dying aching daysbut even a leper, less of that a leprechaun, hath always the gift of luck!and being blessed with immaculate charm in earlier years, yeyou generous and love of conditional, your majestie of cloversmust not deny the law above all dirt on which we lay, we walk, and we shovelit is magick, your majestie!leprechauns will bring you this majick! Me majick! The world majick!Commission a park for this army of leprechaun magick at once!
THE KING OF IRELAND:i am overwhelmed with your charm, pop king. you do never lie.to my people, nor ever again on this slag of dung!
THE KING:i shall never!
― the dow nut industrial average dead joe mama besser (donut), Thursday, 21 September 2006 20:44 (seventeen years ago) link
― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 21 September 2006 20:51 (seventeen years ago) link
― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 21 September 2006 22:30 (seventeen years ago) link
And so surprised as the musick hath been abridgeda lobbing of this coat of mine into a sea of admirersMine a tribute to my phalanx of this future of youngso overpowering it could not all be sung!
― gwynywdd dwnyt fyrwr byychydd gww (donut), Thursday, 16 November 2006 17:20 (seventeen years ago) link
― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Thursday, 16 November 2006 17:24 (seventeen years ago) link
― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 16 November 2006 17:24 (seventeen years ago) link
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 16 November 2006 17:26 (seventeen years ago) link
― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 29 March 2007 20:32 (seventeen years ago) link
only jackson thread that matters
― conrad, Thursday, 25 June 2009 22:50 (fifteen years ago) link
so true
― And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 25 June 2009 22:52 (fifteen years ago) link
<3 this thread - hope someone steps up for the epilogue
― lex pretend, Thursday, 25 June 2009 22:55 (fifteen years ago) link
I'll make some calls.
― bad hijab (suzy), Thursday, 25 June 2009 22:57 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^to all the above
― the funk soul custos (country matters), Thursday, 25 June 2009 22:59 (fifteen years ago) link
― the pinefox, Friday, 26 June 2009 02:16 (fourteen years ago) link
ultimate fucked-up child star, move along, nothing to see here, folks
― Dr Morbius, Friday, 26 June 2009 05:27 (fourteen years ago) link
Wow.
― Cunga, Friday, 26 June 2009 05:38 (fourteen years ago) link
SIR PAULA glooming peace o'er Neverland this day.Peter Pan for sorrow will not show his head.Go hence, to have more talk of death of pop;Biographies rewritten, concerts cancelled.The Earth song will be sung in far flung lands;For never was a HIStory of more woeThan this of Michael and his Billie Jean.
― whatever, Friday, 26 June 2009 05:54 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/that-was-it-the-tragic-tale-of-our-king-michael-jackson/Event?oid=7050531
That Was It: The Tragic Tale of Our King Michael JacksonTongue firmly in cheek, playwright C.J. Tuor borrows the structure of a Greek tragedy (plus a few tricks from Shakespeare and Bertolt Brecht) to tell the King of Pop's life story. Director-choreographer Ali Keirn embellishes Tuor's extremely witty tale -- featuring a chorus that intones lyrics from Jackson hits -- with eccentric dramatic poses, overwrought modern-dance tableaux, and lots of trademark Jackson moves. But what really sells this high-energy comedy is the cast's ability to win laughs even as they lay bare the pathos in Jackson's story. Playing Jackson pre- and post-plastic surgery respectively, Tom Daily and Emily Goldberg are particularly winning. —Jack Helbig
Tongue firmly in cheek, playwright C.J. Tuor borrows the structure of a Greek tragedy (plus a few tricks from Shakespeare and Bertolt Brecht) to tell the King of Pop's life story. Director-choreographer Ali Keirn embellishes Tuor's extremely witty tale -- featuring a chorus that intones lyrics from Jackson hits -- with eccentric dramatic poses, overwrought modern-dance tableaux, and lots of trademark Jackson moves. But what really sells this high-energy comedy is the cast's ability to win laughs even as they lay bare the pathos in Jackson's story. Playing Jackson pre- and post-plastic surgery respectively, Tom Daily and Emily Goldberg are particularly winning. —Jack Helbig
― Trewster Dare (jaymc), Thursday, 9 August 2012 17:26 (eleven years ago) link