at this point there's really nothing that can be done to ruin star wars further than it already has been. 3-D is way less offensive than shitty tacked-on cgi. but who the fuck would wants to see the phantom menace again?
― latebloomer, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:22 (thirteen years ago) link
or indeed at all
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:23 (thirteen years ago) link
i think everyone should be made to see it, just to spread the pain around
― latebloomer, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:26 (thirteen years ago) link
Maybe as well as 3D, Lucas could also revive Smell-O-Vision, so that the stench of manure could waft through the cinema.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:27 (thirteen years ago) link
literally! remember that scene where Jar Jar's steps in some shit? or when the space camel farts in his face?
― latebloomer, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:30 (thirteen years ago) link
i can't un-remember that. the world must suffer.
Han shat first...
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:31 (thirteen years ago) link
those scenes were actually in the Phantom Menace, btw
― latebloomer, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:37 (thirteen years ago) link
Jedi robes are brown for a reason. Helps hide embarrassing stains.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:44 (thirteen years ago) link
special edition jokes right at the beginning of this:http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/703826
― my sex drew back into itself tight and dry (abanana), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 12:46 (thirteen years ago) link
― latebloomer, Wednesday, September 29, 2010 8:22 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 8:23 AM (58 minutes ago) Bookmark
i think dr morbius was actually the only human being who liked this movie
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:26 (thirteen years ago) link
releasing them one by one *annualy* the press releases seem to be saying? that can't be right can it? i mean who's going to give a shit for that first 3 years?
― piscesx, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:30 (thirteen years ago) link
I loved Simon Pegg's tweet this morning about this:
"Watching TPM in 3D would be like the car actually crashing into your face as opposed to just unfolding before your eyes."
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:39 (thirteen years ago) link
haha
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:42 (thirteen years ago) link
um... I liked it (except for Jar-Jar)
― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:45 (thirteen years ago) link
morbius is your sock?
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:46 (thirteen years ago) link
okay now THAT would be some shit
― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:49 (thirteen years ago) link
but anyway, look upthread!
lol I am the only person here who doesn't hate these movies― suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:58 PM
― suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:58 PM
could be a forgery
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:50 (thirteen years ago) link
I liked it too, for the most part. (And so did Ebert!)
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:50 (thirteen years ago) link
sock, sock, sock
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:51 (thirteen years ago) link
My favorite thing about Ebert's review was that he pretty much called ppl out with "lol u jaded"
If it were the first "Star Wars" movie, "The Phantom Menace" would be hailed as a visionary breakthrough. But this is the fourth movie of the famous series, and we think we know the territory; many of the early reviews have been blase, paying lip service to the visuals and wondering why the characters aren't better developed. How quickly do we grow accustomed to wonders. I am reminded of the Isaac Asimov story "Nightfall," about the planet where the stars were visible only once in a thousand years. So awesome was the sight that it drove men mad. We who can see the stars every night glance up casually at the cosmos and then quickly down again, searching for a Dairy Queen.
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19990517/REVIEWS/905170301/1023
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:53 (thirteen years ago) link
man The Phantom Empire would have rocked if the Separatists had split from the Republic over ice cream.
― raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:54 (thirteen years ago) link
yeesh
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:54 (thirteen years ago) link
TS: technical breakthroughs vs. watchable movies.
― kenan, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:55 (thirteen years ago) link
And shame on Roger Ebert for lauding visuals over story and characters. He KNOWS better.
― kenan, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:56 (thirteen years ago) link
If it were the first "Star Wars" movie, "The Phantom Menace" would be hailed as a visionary breakthrough.
what the hell does that mean? sure TPM released 20 years earlier would have BLOWN PEOPLE'S FUCKING MINDS. But by 1999 cgi-heavy sci-fi action flicks were nothing new, and in its own time and place it was clearly ponderous cruddy over-engineered under-written nonsense.
― ledge, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:57 (thirteen years ago) link
Anyone calling these movies "unwatchable" hasn't seen a truly unwatchable movie, like Terminator: Salvation or The Bounty Hunter.
― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 13:59 (thirteen years ago) link
most popular unwatchable film is The Dark Knight.
― raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:00 (thirteen years ago) link
Oh bullshit. The prequels are complete garbage.
― kenan, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:00 (thirteen years ago) link
i have seen plenty of unwatchable films in my day sir
and this film is unwatchable
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:03 (thirteen years ago) link
Well, my work here is done. (claps dust off hands, strides away whistling)
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:04 (thirteen years ago) link
I've seen TPM maybe 3 or 4 times now, and I still couldn't tell you the story. The trade federation stuff was all needlessly complex and bafflingly makes no sense at all. The entire plot of that movie is impenetrable. Jar-Jar aside, I hate how all the aliens speak English with silly accents instead of made up space talk w subtitles. Also hate the actor playing Anakin; he should've been cast as a guest role in a 30 min sitcom. But it's all moot because Jar-Jar pretty much voids the entire movie as soon as he enters.
― Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:04 (thirteen years ago) link
Nah, he's a sucker for that kind of thing in the sci-fi realm. He grants the same latitude to "Metropolis" and "Dark City," e.g. (The latter of which he did DVD commentary for.)
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:06 (thirteen years ago) link
In fact, I'm pretty sure he named "Dark City" his favorite of 1998, and his review starts: ``Dark City'' by Alex Proyas is a great visionary achievement, a film so original and exciting, it stirred my imagination like ``Metropolis'' and ``2001: A Space Odyssey.'' If it is true, as the German director Werner Herzog believes, that we live in an age starved of new images, then ``Dark City'' is a film to nourish us. Not a story so much as an experience, it is a triumph of art direction, set design, cinematography, special effects--and imagination
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:07 (thirteen years ago) link
Tbh I would permaban
How the hell can you not know the story if you've seen it 4 or 5 times? It's not even remotely complicated.
― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:08 (thirteen years ago) link
Lol that first bit shouldn't be there
― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:09 (thirteen years ago) link
No, it makes sense in context.
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:16 (thirteen years ago) link
I like Dark City, but I never understood the sloppy handjob that Ebert gave it. It's a three-star affair.
― kenan, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:18 (thirteen years ago) link
haha freudian slip there dan
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:20 (thirteen years ago) link
it's a two-starrer at BEST.
― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 10:08 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark
no but it is so painfully boring and shitty the brain actively rejects it
― If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:22 (thirteen years ago) link
xp I like the story. It's a little silly, but I, like Ebert, was impressed when I realized that it was not Earth at all.
― kenan, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:22 (thirteen years ago) link
Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace is expected to be released theatrically in 2012
hopefully this is scheduled to be released AFTER the world ends in 2012
― tUrD-yArDs - BiRd-SHiTs (diamonddave85), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:22 (thirteen years ago) link
December 25, 2012 -- Just in time for post-apocalyptic Xmas.
― kenan, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:23 (thirteen years ago) link
"I didn't care enough about the plot to pay attention to it" is a very different criticism from "The plot is so complicated and impenetrable that I can't tell you what happens"; I could understand someone saying the latter if we were talking about "Eraserhead" but this is a fucking Star Wars movie!
― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:24 (thirteen years ago) link
"released theatrically" - it will be accompanied by a drumroll and a loud bang of confetti
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:25 (thirteen years ago) link
"Complicated and impenetrable" is different still from "Doesn't make a lick of sense."
― kenan, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:25 (thirteen years ago) link
It's not that I don't understand what's SUPPOSED to be going on, it's that what's supposed to be going on is thinly motivated and often arbitrary, in service of getting to the next big set piece.
― kenan, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 14:26 (thirteen years ago) link
Can you relay the plot to me, with regards to the trade federation, the gungans, who is on what side, who those two alien ambassadors were at the beginning, etc. etc. without referring to wikipedia?
― Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 15:10 (thirteen years ago) link