Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

Lab did 'em in

a bad livid mind

Not only them, mind.

David Romance
A divorced man
a candid mover

am rancid dove (?)

Am Devoid Narc.

"Previous party leaders have either been married or, as with Edward Heath, resolutely single."

Summary: No prime minister has ever got married while in office.

"Simply hasn't had time to fill in and sign the form"
OMG who are these 'people?' How do they run their lives?
When my 3 children were born over the years someone came to the hospital each time and said "sign here."
I smell a whiff of something else....

- Victor M, Cricklewood, London, 26/9/2010 13:43

^dunno what they signed but you can't register a child in hospital (assuming everywhere in the UK is the same as Scotland and you have to go in person to a registry office with id etc)

Bear in mind, Victor Meldrew had a great many fans.

She said I was not the kind of person ­— young, attractive and professional — that was usually admitted, so I was bound to ­generate curiosity among other patients.

wouldn't be surprised if this turns out to be my local hospital

Fact stranger than fiction: Winona Ryder played a woman on a psychiatric ward in the film Girl Interrupted

Oh, LizJonespaws:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1318258/Hooters--offensive-bar-Britain-Asks-Liz-Jones.html

Sorry, I found this newspaper more offensive than Hooters.

Oh LizJonespaws, pt 2:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1318377/Child-benefits-Wheres-having-pets-children.html

Only parents who adopt or foster should get special treatment; not the vain, self-obsessed, middle-class mums who have children only to get time off work and receive baby-shower gifts.

wtf

That Hooters thing is incredible, btw.

Does she not feel exposed, knowing all these men are looking at her bottom and cleavage? 'I feel quite covered up,' she says. 'This is no worse than what you see young women wearing here in Nottingham, out shopping or clubbing.'

This is true, but that is their choice. Here, exposing your thighs and cleavage is compulsory.

Sorry, did I miss the part where people were employed there at gunpoint?

the hooters article takes pretty much the same stance that right-on sites/mags like jezebel would take

Yeah, it's an issue where feminists and right-wing moralists overlap.

l.jones almost certainly considers herself more the former than the latter

for totally different reasons?

besides, i dunno if "jezebel" or any of the writers therein would really take that line. old-line 2nd wave feminists probably would, more likely (stereotypically)

personally i'm not sure why the idea of hooters grosses me out more than the idea of just a straight up strip club. maybe the addition of fast food. least sexy thing ever.

for totally different reasons?

yeah, liz jones's reasons as stated (not v well) in that article are explicitly on the feminist side though - "financially hard up women being objectified and exploited" rather than "look at those brazen hussies"

though i thought the bit about interviewing a playboy bunny in the 70s was probably the most on-point paragraph liz jones has written in years and years (maybe ever)

half her questions to those waitresses (skimmed it tbh) look like "DOES YOUR MAN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE??"

she seems less feminist and just, like, really dumb

lol there's even a line about tipping in there, perfect

i guess i'm not surprised this is the first hooters to open in the UK. pretty sure britishers are into boobs, but chicken wings?

she is pretty dumb, but that's secondary to her being completely insane

is she the token lefty or something?

or is there a whole genre of posh women for whom 'feminism' is not verboten, but expressed in an essentially clueless right-wing controlling kind of way? eg "all of the women i went to school with are now begging their husbands for plastic surgery! it is ghastly and i for one disapprove"

Liz Jones is a law unto herself. Not really accurate to call her left-wing, right-wing, feminist or anything really. As long as she gets to disapprove of other women then the ideology doesn't matter.

^^^^yes. she's the token lunatic (though i'm sure she thinks she's a feminist).

"betraying the cause", "you're a whore", all the same really

'horse' would rhyme, though.

But while there was something tongue-in-cheek and marginally glamorous about the bunny outfit
This is bullshit really. In fact they are remarkably similar, especially the nylon hotpants and tights combo. And they got paid similar wages.

There was a Hooters in Brum a few years back but it closed due to being completely horrible. Back in those days you could get a topless haircut in Birmingham as well I seem to remember.

like to go to a fancy dress party as a monk or something?

the hooters article takes pretty much the same stance that right-on sites/mags like jezebel would take

― لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Thursday, 7 October 2010 17:08 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I read a couplathree Jezebel pieces on Hooters a while back (there's one due to open up in Cardiff, which sparked a week or so of Facebook/blog-contained kerfuffle from various friends of mine + inevitable troll-y counter-groups) and iirc this was pretty much the case, minus actually going to one for the purpose of condescending towards the employees

I think most of us would be pretty much in agreement that Hooters is kind of gross and weird? Our particular takes would still be lacking the singular lunacy of Liz, though.

Back in those days you could get a topless haircut in Birmingham as well I seem to remember

They used to have one of these in Paisley when I was working on a New Deal programme trying to get unemployed teenagers into work. Guess where EVERY SINGLE BLOKE ON THE COURSE used as their first speculative letter seeking employment?

I don't find Hooters particularly gross or weird. Liz Jones, on the other hand...

Ah, the thought of my barber topless - tbh it would be a kindness if he stabbed me in the eyes with his rusty scissors.

I think most of us would be pretty much in agreement that Hooters is kind of gross and weird?

eh probably - people's ~heated debates~ over it seem to be more "let the baby have its bottle y/n?" (pun intended tbh)

Two-suspects-aged-16-21-held-businesswoman-battered-death.html.

um, the point being?

yeah I was gonna say, what are we supposed to be lampooning here - the last paragraph...?

It seems a reasonably written story, even going so far as discounting the old 'honour killing' as a valid motivation.

The 'friend' who said "This did not always sit well with some parts of the family" seems like weasel words for 'dirty filthy medieval Muslim honour killing' to me.

Daily Mail not really known for using weasel words about such things. I think if they were seriously entertaining the possibility they'd be going in a lot harder, possibly with a big leading question of a headline.

On his Facebook page, rap music fan Usman Shahzad lists a string of violent films as his favourites, including The Football Factory, Scarface, The Godfather and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

He likes The Godfather? What a psychopath.

Scene: Thames Valley Police outside the £600,000 house where company director Assia Shahzad, 40, was found brutally beaten

so important to keep track of the housing market when someone is battered to death

So, the Daily Mail, basically, has replaced the old "Mrs Tina Williams, 32" with "Mrs Tina Williams, who lives in a £600,000 house" thesedays.

Don't forget the privately educated girls from middle-class families who become prostitutes.

^dropped the bomb