Why are demands about male sexual performance quite so acceptable?

When a midwife told us this, I completely freaked out. Worrying even more about the baby in my belly. *sigh*

Er, not to be confused with taking an *active role* since as discussed this is about expecting MEN to perform...just that if you're worried about being taken advantage of in some sense, it's easy to wind up being over-demanding/critical. Because equality/math/life is hard.

i suffer from a bit of performance anxiety. simply cos i havent um performed in almost a year lol. someone give me a tip to combat these nerves.

Practice! Find a nice girl who'll have a bit a bit of patience with and explain the situation to her. Worked for me recently, and I was in a similar position. I know, easier said than done etc. Also if down there isn't behaving quite as it should, make sure you use every other means at your disposal to give her satisfaction - this'll help you get your confidence back.

ta. got a facebook buddy who has intimated that she would be up for it but im a bit worried she has quite high expectations cos of the nature of our phone/msn conversations. i dont think im bad in bed or anything, its just that after so long you become less sure.

Dear Mr x do you read? never mind, I suggest gay awful no good, horrible,very bad house music for all the confidence in the world. trust me it works! best wishes!

the nature of our phone/msn conversations

http://www.df.lth.se/~ola/Starwars/Empire/thumbs/thumb0.jpg

Just go for it, I say. If she's a halfway decent person it won't really matter if you don't live up to her expectations, which you may have blown out of proportion anyway.

"I suggest gay awful no good, horrible,very bad house music"

er.... thanks?

jordan s, im more of a return of the jedi guy myself.

Chap OTM. I think most people would understand that you're not necessarily up for you're best performance when you're doing it for the first time with a new person. With most couples it takes a while to get used to each other's needs and likes. It'd be different if she was just looking for a good one-night lay, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

ok, thing is, im just a bit worried if i tell her ive not been in action for a while, she might not be as enthusiastic. i have met her once, and part of the thing there was i was a bit nervous about the idea of us going back to mine for the reasons ive mentioned above. im not sure if she wants a relationship or just a shagging buddy, and TBH ive only slept with the girls ive been in relationships with, by and large, or at least dated a bit (not a huge number as ive been in relationships most of the time), so this isnt home turf for me.

I thought "mr x" was max and was like "oh no max"

I still say go for it. A 'good one night lay' is a relatively rare thing, I think, the (very few) one-night stands I've had have been crap, and there hasn't ever been any noticeable hard feelings. Also, you may well surprise yourself. Also, it bears repeating, there's more than one method of pleasing a woman.

i kinda feel like i need to tell her about taking an er, respite from the shagging frontlines, anyway, so prob will. hopefully things will proceed as they have been after that.

wait this isn't the same as the hpv genital warts girl, is it???

who?!

oh nm i guess that was another troll

Performances are for actors or trained animals. If you can't be open, honest and 'vulnerable' with your sexual partner, you've jumped the tracks already.

P.S. This opinion will almost certainly earn me flack. Lalalalalala! I'm not listening!

I seem to remember an interesting dialogue about this from 'Chasing Amy'.
-- Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, February 14, 2003 12:31 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

I don't mean this in one of those "such a double standard" sort of ways, because even as a double standard it's not one I'd have a terrible problem with. But Lara on the hat thread jokes about getting angry with anyone she dated who underperformed, a sort of sentiment that's actually really common. Conversely I doubt many men could get away with saying "I certainly wouldn't put up with any woman who couldn't" ... well, I dunno, you fill in, because apart from visible physical characteristics it's considered unfunny and impolite and just bad to criticize women's sexual performance. In my experience guys don't even do this in one another's company! I've heard maybe the barest hint of it, and that very rarely.
I'm not sure what my question is but I find this interesting.

-- nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, February 13, 2003 7:29 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

BRAGGIN [nabisco]!

Yeah wow I can't believe I started this thread, even by back-in-the-day standards.

I can't remember why, either (did I get with someone who was really bad, and then realized I felt guilty thinking so?), but for the purposes of all ILX, past present and future, let's pretend I am a eunuch, or the brain of a eunuch which has been preserved in a jar and connected to the internet, like the thing from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

That's sort of how I've always thought of you, actually. And his name KRANG.

I dont want girls to think I suck dick at fuckin' pussy

NO SEX IN DIMENSION X

Ian ZierZING

its just something we say when we're mad

a dude i dated not too long ago said that all girls are the same in bed. i wonder if thats true?

no

he needs to sleep with more women

doppelbangers

I thought "mr x" was max and was like "oh no max"

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, April 7, 2008 7:02 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Link

nooooooo

krang otm

http://filebox.vt.edu/users/mhemsteg/tmntnet2.mov

krang otm

Isn't the female equivalent to be called "frigid"? I don't think it's got quite the currency it used to have, but ... yeah.

I think "frigid" means "don't much care for sex" rather than "wants sex, but nervous about it".

Mandee, that guy you dated was crazy. In my opinion, everyone is different in bed. That's exactly why it's unlikely to have a perfect "performance" the first time you have sex with someone. It takes a while to learn what short of invidual your partner is in bed.

doing this new thing where i howl right before cave diving

thread revive of the century

Hope your cert. agency was NSS-CDS or GUE.

finished std-hiv negative magnum cum louder

omg! was this the thread where nabisco was not otm? my reality is shattered

holy shit yessssssssssss

^ that's what she said

uhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

why are demands about nabisco's otmness quite so acceptable

trust nabisco to turn this into a v.sly boast
― mark s (mark s)

i was wondering what we called them before harris wittels popularized "humblebrag"!