shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

Pope's astronomer says he would baptise an alien

An alien – 'no matter how many tentacles it has' – could have a soul, says pope's astronomer

This sounded like one of their op-ed pieces:

http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/6154/scaledphptn0server842fi.jpg

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/pawprintpost/post/2010/09/dog-dies-in-hot-car-while-owner-tours-holocaust-museum/1

If only the owner had heeded the warning of the Scottish indie band.

lol, the Waters headline just needs to be read in a slightly different inflection to be hilarious

Again, I'm doing the what now?

the Waters one reminds me of this:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-know-i-used-to-be-kind-of-cool-once,10932/

I remember reading something about the origins of the Police that vaguely suggested that they were making a very deliberate and cynical attempt to capitalize on the punk trend but using their superior musicianship, or something.

I mean whatever, those records are good.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-11416654

I'm not sure that an Onion article is the right comparison, but... yeah.

Oh lord, just came to post that.

RIP

If only that dead dog had been a German shepherd

xxxxxxxxpost

Saw this had been revived and new it had to be the Segway dude.

headlines wishin they were Onion headlines: Swanky new Vegas hotel’s ‘death ray’ proves inconvenient for some guests

RIM Needs More Fart Apps, Not Fewer
All Things Digital - 7 hours ago

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/30/us/30drug.html

Shortage of Widely Used Anesthetics Is Delaying Executions

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00684/segway-anti-terror_684090n.jpg

huge LOL

Not partic Onion-y, but the newspaper somebody was reading a seat up from me on the bus last night had a headline "Wyden voted for stimulus, not ants". I was chucklin at that fr some reason.

As prompted by buzza on the Los Angeles thread just now:

http://www.thisisbrandx.com/2010/10/five-things-la-could-learn-from-london.html

I once got a sneaky blow job in London.

Posted by: Pussyman | October 19, 2010 at 07:50 PM

Plus, even the American chains are better in Europe. H&M for instance.

It must be true.

Now we know what to put on the fourth plinth: a giant marble Pret sandwich. Hell, let's replace Nelson with a big old hoisin duck wrap.

NBC Develops Winery-Set Supernatural Soap

Porpoises rescue Dick Van Dyke

EU officials envy quality of US diplomatic cables

Some Egyptian officials blame the Mossad for the deadly shark attacks in Sharm El-Sheik last week:

http://english.ahram.org.eg/NewsContent/1/64/1343/Egypt/Politics-/Experts-shoot-down-theory-that-Israel-is-behind-sh.aspx

the new york times

http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2010/07/digital-drugs/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZcgUEkBIX0&feature=player_embedded#!

You can apparently get your digital fix here.

H.R. 2: Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act

Still love this guy

http://images.forbes.com/media/commentary/jflint.jpg

Officials fear bath salts are growing drug problem

Vice President Biden called for jury duty in Del.

(AP) – 1 hour ago

WILMINGTON, Del. (AP) — Joe Biden may be the nation's vice president, but that doesn't mean he can avoid fulfilling his civic duty.

Aides say Biden reported Monday morning for jury duty along with 100 others at the New Castle County courthouse in Delaware after receiving a jury summons.

"I don't consider myself different than any other person," Biden told The News Journal of Wilmington, Del. "This is important ... It is an honor to be a part of the system."

Biden and several Secret Service agents waited with other prospective jurors in the jury assembly room. During a break, staffers and security poured in from a side door to consult with the vice president. Biden said he had to make several calls on a secure telephone during the break, including one to President Barack Obama.

There was no word yet on whether Biden will be chosen to participate in a trial.

"Where you from, honey? Elsmere? Oh yeah, I know a great place over there that serves the best wings… Oh, hold on."

*cups the receiver*

"It's the President…"

*Screensaver appears on display*

Jodi Bieber won the World Press Photo award for her picture of a Middle Eastern woman who was disfigured by the Taliban.

Headlines, mostly in Belgium and Holland, apparently, where they're only just discovering such childish click-attracting misleading tabloid tactics:

Bieber Wins World Press Photo

wrong thread!

SEO hall of fame

ah
ok, sorry

Okay it's been 15 minutes and I still haven't stopped laughing at this

You know what? We saved money. I lost weight. Gained energy. And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.

Whoopee time is good, but the whoopee time is better.

is it like the cushion?

Depends how much flab has been lost.

It's funnier if you actually picture somebody saying it. The whole thing just reminds me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv9qs5WVHS8

"We had the whoopee time" is impossible to imagine without some think foreign accent for me.

thick*

I think ilx needs a thread about that article alone; it's terrible on so many levels and yet perfect in its own way.

http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2011/02/13/JP-SEARCH-2.html

http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2011/02/13/JP-SEARCH-2.html
"Google’s spam cop, Matt Cutts, was not pleased about a campaign to make JCPenney.com seem more popular."

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2011/02/13/business/JP-SEARCH-2/JP-SEARCH-2-popup.jpg