And this is their front page story? Who the fuck is their target audience?
― Ned Trifle (Notinmyname), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 09:10 (fifteen years ago)
Crazies iirc
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 09:16 (fifteen years ago)
Free cheese though...
― pissky in the jar (onimo), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 09:18 (fifteen years ago)
You mean:
NOW THEY WANT TO GIVE AWAY CHEESE FOR FREE
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 09:21 (fifteen years ago)
NOW CATHEDRAL CITIES REDUCED TO A CHEESE
― FORTIFIED STEAMED VEGETABLE BOWL (schlump), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 09:43 (fifteen years ago)
GEORGE MICHAEL JAILED FOR 8 WEEKS AFTER DRUG DRIVING. SHAME.
― Eejit Piaf (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 10:00 (fifteen years ago)
SHOULD THEY DO THE FA CUP DRAW AGAIN?Telephone Poll Result: Yes 45% No 55%
Oops! Looks like they forgot to make it clear which answer was the CORRECT ANSWER!
― Mark G, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 11:38 (fifteen years ago)
Actually, I'm really skint and we're out of cheese. Would it be massively selling out to buy a copy of the Express? Is 'I only bought it for the cheese' going to be the new 'I only read it for the articles'?
― emil.y, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 11:49 (fifteen years ago)
Make badge, wear badge, Buy express.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 11:50 (fifteen years ago)
Cathedral City's quite nice and comes in a handy reusable ziplock bag, I say GO FOR IT.
― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 11:51 (fifteen years ago)
I would be a bit wary myself, you don't know it's been taped to the front of the paper. Could be a bit off, unless the newsagents are keeping the Express in the fridge?
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 11:58 (fifteen years ago)
From where do you get the cheez?
― Mark G, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 12:01 (fifteen years ago)
(It'll be a voucher, from Waitrose or some such...)
― Mark G, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 12:02 (fifteen years ago)
Maybe, but this wouldn't be the first time the Express has tried to stir up mass listeria.
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 12:02 (fifteen years ago)
oof
― Neil S, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 12:30 (fifteen years ago)
Found out:
Basically you have to register on the "Milk and More" website, check you are eligible, sign up for milk deliveries, and the milkman brings you your cheese.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 12:36 (fifteen years ago)
You couldn't make this up, could you. I mean what on earth, Daily Express.
― mc banhammer (Pashmina), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 12:47 (fifteen years ago)
NOW WE HAVE TO REGISTER FOR CHEESE!
― pissky in the jar (onimo), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 13:18 (fifteen years ago)
NOW THEY WANT US TO SIGN UP MILK DELIVERIES
― Duncan Donuts (Ned Trifle II), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 13:20 (fifteen years ago)
Actually that would be a good thing. Milkmen (or women) are good.
― Duncan Donuts (Ned Trifle II), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 13:21 (fifteen years ago)
I bet George Michael is cursing his bad luck, what with being banged up on the day that the Express are giving away free cheese and all.
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 13:24 (fifteen years ago)
NOW THEY ARE GIVING AWAY OUR CHEESE FOR FREE, BUT YOU GEORGE MICHAEL, YOU DRUG DRIVING SHAMBLES, YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT FREE.
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 13:26 (fifteen years ago)
per private eye desmond is frequently getting hauled over the coals for bogus 'offers'
or was it the mail?
anyway, more trouble than it's worth
― history mayne, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 13:29 (fifteen years ago)
The code of conduct states that the front page has to disclose the method.
Which the DE did. In small writing. Orange text on a slightly darker orange background...
― Mark G, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 13:50 (fifteen years ago)
No such thing as a free Munster.
(Sorry, that was the best I could come up with.)
― emil.y, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 13:58 (fifteen years ago)
http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/covers/257x330front/2010-09-18.jpg
NB: Plot may not contain actual Muslims. Plot may have been manufactured in an environment containing nuts.
― James Mitchell, Saturday, 18 September 2010 09:47 (fifteen years ago)
Thought that the plot was hatched by Nuclear Assault, all part of their scheme to "hang the pope".
― Neil S, Saturday, 18 September 2010 09:50 (fifteen years ago)
were they not real cleaners?
― a hoy hoy, Saturday, 18 September 2010 14:14 (fifteen years ago)
Turns out they were smearing shit on the streets.
― pissky in the jar (onimo), Saturday, 18 September 2010 14:15 (fifteen years ago)
Good use of "bogus" though - plants the words "asylum seeker" right into the Express reader's mind.
― pissky in the jar (onimo), Saturday, 18 September 2010 14:16 (fifteen years ago)
Never except sweets from the Daily Express, kids.
― Duncan Donuts (Ned Trifle II), Saturday, 18 September 2010 14:56 (fifteen years ago)
Or "accept", even.
http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/2010/09/blink-and-youll-miss-it.html
― Matt DC, Monday, 20 September 2010 11:31 (fifteen years ago)
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Jn-LeUC-BnU/TJdA7NK3NaI/AAAAAAAABbI/MjVQjJImDTM/s400/expblobpar.jpg
Yeah, but someone had to craft that sentence by hand! They couldn't get the hatebot to autoshart a piece like that.
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Monday, 20 September 2010 11:39 (fifteen years ago)
I mean, this is what it's geared up to do:
http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/covers/257x330front/2010-09-20.jpg
Hang on, Simon Cowell is on £2m benefits and has 10 children with 10 lookalike mothers?
― ledge, Monday, 20 September 2010 11:41 (fifteen years ago)
"All his children have different mothers"
and yes, we are all children of god...
― Mark G, Monday, 20 September 2010 11:43 (fifteen years ago)
"WIN A MOTORHOME"
about time they catered for their traveller readership
― pissky in the jar (onimo), Monday, 20 September 2010 11:43 (fifteen years ago)
10 year old is doing well to have kids IMO
― Neil S, Monday, 20 September 2010 12:21 (fifteen years ago)
http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Sep/Week3/15736844.jpg
A+, 10/10. Might actually have to buy a copy of this. Think the best part is the picture used to illustrate the 'judge sends benefit cheats to prison' story.
All it is missing is an offer for free cheese and campervans.
― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 03:40 (fifteen years ago)
extra points for misleading chumps into thinking the paper costs 30p
― the cusses of 2 live crew (stevie), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 07:29 (fifteen years ago)
"this lame dog"
+ more bonus points for "rotter".
― textbook blows on the head (dowd), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 08:03 (fifteen years ago)
INSIDE: "NORTH KOREA AND IRAN COULD PARALYSE UK FROM SPACE"
http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/dynamic/78/285x214/200755_1.jpg
― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 08:22 (fifteen years ago)
GURN TOO FAR PUTS CHAMP IN HOSPITAL
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 08:24 (fifteen years ago)
Sorry, should add the picture:
― jesper olsen twins (NickB), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 08:25 (fifteen years ago)
Didn't know that Steve Jones was writing headlines for the DE...
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 08:40 (fifteen years ago)
including the seemingly fantastical scenario which could come straight from the pages of a James Bond script.
Er, it does come from a JB script, it's the main plot of fucking Goldeneye FFS!
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 08:43 (fifteen years ago)
http://cdn.images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/cartoon/506x345/2010-09-21.gif
political cartoonist of the year, you say...
― ledge, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 08:58 (fifteen years ago)