this is the horny commiseration thread

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my dick is bigger.

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://sphax666.free.fr/Ta%EFwan/Ang%20Lee/tigredragon/Zhang%20Ziyi%20petit.jpg
Fear not Nickalicious and other Asiaphile mens of ILX, I will help you rediscover your horny, while I slay my master's assassin with my ninja sword of kickassocity.

― Zhang Ziyi (has no moral objections whatsoever to my objectifying her thusly, ob, Monday, 4 October 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG HI DERE KEN C

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I was actually quite pleased that that picture took away my clit-on! I should print it out and carry it with me for whenever I need guaranteed horn removal! HORN REMOVAL MAAA-CHIIIIIINE!!!!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

DEEZ NUTS

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

do girls think its charming when you're high and overenthused when you talk to them?

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

No. Oh God, no.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

yea, exactly

OOPS

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it Pete Docherty out of the Libertines porn?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

(said purely to increase google hits obv)

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"clit-on." I love it.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Things wrong with that picture:

1) dude needs a trim. I've seen goats with better-kept pubes.
2) what's with the scratching and scarring? Is that where the Roman soldier pierced his side?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

If you want to increase teh googles, it helps if you spell it right, Barry!

Scratching and scarring = ask any teenage girl what that's about.

My clit-on was totally buzz-harshed until I found this picture of a dirty boy clearly BEGGING me to give him the Too Posh To Wash Treatment:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v449/batgirl_2/carlinbath.jpg

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

And for th boys:

http://www.importforum.com/public_pics/Alexies_Thorpe_11.jpg

Man, that one never gets old.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Her butt is not as sticky-outy as this butt:

ihttp://melaniemay.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/libertines15.jpg

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

But but but I even checked with my friendly Libertines fan in the office to make sure I WAS spelling it right!!

Kate, do you actually get turned on by DIRT and GERMS or is it just the image thing?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

porno-butt

The guy in the bathtub could be 15 years old, for all you can tell. But I an getting a clear picture of Kate's tastes -- skinny, hairless, sweaty, and much too young for her.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

hi kate

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Wellllll... I used to think it was impossible to be too dirty, until my days with the Dirt Queen in Hoxton. There's a line, obviously, but, you know, Joe used to go about a month between his ceremonial hairwashings, and that never bothered me.

And the whole appeal of dirty boys is the idea that you can put them in a bathtub and wash them!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that Ornaldo Bloomps is the front row in Kate's picture?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i have mud in my hair from biking a lot....

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw the picture was called 'carlinbath' and my first thought was not of him from the Libertines. Now I feel all wrong.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

EEWWW!!! EWWWWW!!! EWWWWW, DC, YOU JUST HARSHBUZZED MY CLIT-ON!!!

Quick, post more dirt to recover:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v449/batgirl_2/511.jpg

Man, that might actually just be too filthy even for me.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I swear this picture was taken in the dirties motherfucking place ever

I WOULD BE WEARING TIGHT PANTS FOR DEE LADIES BUTT IT WAS LIKE 110 DEGREES THAT DAY

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, is this because you haven't had sex with a dirty little boy in a while, or are you constantly horny?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

No, I think it's coz I haven't had sex in a while. When you hit that three month mark, you go a bit crazy and start humping people's legs almost at random.

(Don't get any ideas, Jon!)

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Not to mention that I am running a temperature and feverish. I'm so freaking ill, I think I might actually skip maths, and go home and crawl into bed and die instead. :-(

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I still think you could do better, Kate. Every boy you've perved on here looks like he wouldn't have a *clue* what to do with your clit.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

If I could actually pull a boy that looked like that... man he wouldn't have to have the faintest clue what to do with my clit! He could just sit in the bathtub while I masturbate!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I have images in my head now, and believe me, they're VERY incriminating.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Oooh, dooo share!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

No, actually, don't. I am going home now. I'm dying. My throat feels like it's on fire. This is what I get for licking strangers. Sigh.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"The prosecution will show that Kate did, beyond any reasonable doubt, drug and intice this innocaent young man into a bathtub while she pleasured herself in front of him."

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop it! I need to go home, and stop clicking on the picture of the bathtub!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, you are so a Mark Renton girl.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 4 October 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

EEWWW!!! EWWWWW!!! EWWWWW, DC, YOU JUST HARSHBUZZED MY CLIT-ON!!!

This is the single greatest sentance I have ever read.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 4 October 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

That is pretty fucking good.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://img68.photobucket.com/albums/v208/jcoombs/?

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

err,

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v208/jcoombs/nakedme.gif

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

idiots

― oc, Monday, 4 October 2004 23:42 (twenty-one years ago)

So did I make TEH ULTIMATE FUNNY thread, then? Bet I didn't. Sigh.

― what katie didn't do, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

You made the ILEpitaphs thread. Which is better anyway. More exclusive.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i might post oc's comment on it

― Senor Embargo (blueski), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I had use for the phrase "you just harshbuzzed my clit-on". Oh, if only I were female.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Or a hermaphrodite.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Where's the epitaphs thread? Is it worth another 50p to find out?

Gah, this is more addictive than peep shows. But cheaper, thankfully!

― what katie didn't do, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Back (on) Top! ha ha

I've had too much caffeine this morning and need some distracting sex talk.

That FHM model has a weird face.

The two guys kissing are cute, but the gun does nothing for me. I think he should be holding a flower instead.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I was going to say a cat, but I don't want people to think that... well... yeah... just something fuzzy and soft.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Revive! er... in more ways than one. Us horny people need to have a place to come together. Or at least be together.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

three days and counting

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

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