Jesus Fucking Christ: evangelical bigwig opposed gay marriage "because it takes the dirt and danger out of clandestine sex with rent-a-men"

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Marriage adds the dirt and danger to clandestine sex.

― You've Had Your Chances (noodle vague), Friday, 3 November 2006 03:19 (nineteen years ago)

mmm... sweet, sweet, frisson...

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Friday, 3 November 2006 03:55 (nineteen years ago)

sometimes i think liberal fag hags are the only straight people left in america.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 3 November 2006 05:31 (nineteen years ago)

is posting this article redundant?
http://www.harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist.html

― maura (maura), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:02 (nineteen years ago)

"most comfortable in denim"

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:46 (nineteen years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4161/1545/1600/haggard2.jpg

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:50 (nineteen years ago)

sometimes i really love living in america.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:51 (nineteen years ago)

need a different host. that blogger pic didn't load.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:53 (nineteen years ago)

I just saw this picture of him. Ken dolls have more life to them:

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2006/1102/20061102_032450_ol02haggard_300.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:55 (nineteen years ago)

I mean, I have to assume he got his teeth capped for the Lord.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:56 (nineteen years ago)

who will play ted haggard in the todd haynes biopic?

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:58 (nineteen years ago)

Dude could star in a remake of Polyester.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 06:59 (nineteen years ago)

"Is this something I can imagine of Ted Haggard? No," he said.

Like there's some way of telling if somebody is gay or not!

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 3 November 2006 07:36 (nineteen years ago)

Church Leader Says Haggard Admits To Some Indiscretions

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Friday, 3 November 2006 07:43 (nineteen years ago)

that's really vague! which indiscretions?

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 07:47 (nineteen years ago)

he'll probably deny the drugs. you salvage what you can in these situations, i suppose.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 3 November 2006 07:49 (nineteen years ago)

Another great photo!

http://media.graytvinc.com/images/haggard.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.moviezilla.org/images/movies/tl9.jpg

put these on these on, they give you gaydar!

naaah

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Friday, 3 November 2006 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

the recordings of him BUYING METH were given to the local news.

http://wonkette.com/politics/ted-haggard/ted-haggard-admits-something-212200.php

― ken noizewater (Pareene), Friday, 3 November 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

And to make it weirder, the accuser failed a lie detector test this morning. But they suggested a retest. But Haggard already confessed something. But etc.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

the recordings of him BUYING METH

hahaha. Does he actually do the "yo man, what you got?"

ha ha to extended tongues, too:

http://www.evangelicalright.com/TedHaggard.jpg

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:12 (nineteen years ago)

The sentiment behind the (fabricated) quote in the title is more common in the gay "community" than you'd expect!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:12 (nineteen years ago)

ffs, why do people even bother with polygraphs anymore? all they do is open up the same debate about the veracity of their results.

wicked xpost

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://starbulletin.com/2005/04/09/features/art1c.jpg http://starbulletin.com/2005/04/09/features/art1b.jpg

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.efcer.org/images/calendar/ym2005/ted-haggard.jpg http://www.csindy.com/csindy/2005-04-21/cover-2.gif

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

oh, dude will just pull a swaggart and all will be forgiven ... you watch!

i dunno man, jimmy had sex with a woman for pay. that's probably far more forgiveable to these homophobes.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

unfortunately, for certain select die-hard evangelicals, i think this is only going to cement the belief that no one, NO ONE!! is safe from the temptations of TEH GAY MENACE.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

Aaron Eckhart

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

Never thought I'd see LaShawn Barber saying "Christians can be perverts, too!" Regrettably the intent is otherwise than gleeful.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

unfortunately, for certain select die-hard evangelicals, i think this is only going to cement the belief that no one, NO ONE!! is safe from the temptations of TEH GAY MENACE.

oh bring it on.

TEH GAY MENACE VS TEH FUNDIE MENACE. GAY MENACE WINS.

please.

― gwynywdd dwnyt fyrwr byychydd gww (donut), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

From the Harper's article: "He staked out gay bars, inviting men to come to his church" -- the jokes come so easily it's not sporting.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

unfortunately, for certain select die-hard evangelicals, i think this is only going to cement the belief that no one, NO ONE!! is safe from the temptations of TEH GAY MENACE.

hopefully for the slightly more reasonable it might lead to the revelation I KNOW AND LIKE LOTSA GAY WHO ARE PRETENDING TO NOT BE GAYS BECAUSE OF MY PREJUDICE!

these uber-homophobes' broken gaydar points to their comically villainous mental image of teh gays.

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

Who the hell is LaShawn Barber??!?!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

A curious soul.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

From a review of that documentary Jesus Camp:

The only person to deliberately address the camera and make meta-commentary about the fact he's being filmed is Ted Haggard, President of the National Association of Evangelicals, who grabs the camera and jokes: "I think I know what you did last night! If you send me a thousand dollars I won't tell your wife!" He -- and the crowd -- laugh, and then he gives the kicker: "If you use any of this, I'll sue you." He's kidding, but it doesn't feel funny.

the thousand bux is for teh meth, obv.

SOMEONE PLZ TO YOUTUBE THIS CLIP

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

hopefully for the slightly more reasonable it might lead to the revelation I KNOW AND LIKE LOTSA GAY WHO ARE PRETENDING TO NOT BE GAYS BECAUSE OF MY PREJUDICE!

I don't think it's pessimistic to think it's more likely this will result in to paranoia of THE ENEMY WITHIN and serious witch-hunting.

The upside is it may result in hilarity, what with Dimmesdale-esque self-flagellating closet cases, and (with any luck) the Evangelical church screening hardcore gay porn and judging erectile response to find aforementioned ENEMY WITHIN.

uh... or not. I should stop projecting my fantasies now.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

was he one of those guys who was talking about how they were going on a tour of bathhouses and clubs to bring the Word to the Godless?

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

i could see both happening, causing a schism - seems like there's been an uptick in soul-searching amongst evangelicals re their political misadventures.

xpost

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6550/107/1600/homoart.1.jpg

Nothing gay here

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:38 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, developing schism seems reminiscent of late-80s Christian right scandals/implosion. Just replace Swaggart and Falwell/Bakkers with Haggard and Ralph Reed etc.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

omg xp

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

god, the bald angel is straight mapplethorpe.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:48 (nineteen years ago)

more stuff from that blackshear guy:

http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990174443422/image3.jpg
http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990169448752/image1.jpg

dude has his own line of pious figurines, too

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:54 (nineteen years ago)

Man, and I thought Kinkade was bad enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

now, Ned, has the Painter of Light ever graced us with something as precious as this:

http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990237947668/image3.jpg

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990237330213/image3.jpg

I want one!

(I'm not sure of the wisdom of having 'BO' on all his images.)

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

wtf is a Kente Claus?

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:01 (nineteen years ago)

An excellent niche marketing opportunity?

How do cherbim keep their little pudenda-hiding scarfs from falling off? Is it angel magic? The power of faith? Tiny boners?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

Hold me closer, tiny boner.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

Black Santa Moses has come to save us all and bring us Star Wars figures!

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:18 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 451 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I think you can take it for granted that anything that requires a prescription has been taken recreationally by somebody

― ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 26 January 2011 23:54 (fifteen years ago)

ppl have taken SSRIs for the Mystery of the Missing Ejaculation side effect? I guess...that...could happen.

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 26 January 2011 23:56 (fifteen years ago)

JINKIES

― HOOS the master?? STEEN NUFF (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Thursday, 27 January 2011 00:08 (fifteen years ago)

well I dunno about that specific effect but yes I have been around people who did SSRIs for fun

― ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 27 January 2011 00:11 (fifteen years ago)

lol @ "Mystery of the Missing Ejaculation." pretty otm :/

― are you there based god? it's me, markers (crüt), Thursday, 27 January 2011 00:14 (fifteen years ago)

I think you can take it for granted that anything that requires a prescription has been taken recreationally by somebody

i take recreational ventolin, i just love the lightness of lung it gives me

― the tune is spacecadet (c sharp major), Thursday, 27 January 2011 00:28 (fifteen years ago)

hey for some people drug taking is an end in and of itself.

― ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 27 January 2011 00:31 (fifteen years ago)

News Flash! After being treated by his church the same way he gladly treated others while he was leading his church, Ted Haggard now professes: "I used to think the church was the light of the world. But I've completely lost my faith in it." There's nothing like being handed the dirty end of the stick to discover that it's dirty.

― Aimless, Thursday, 27 January 2011 01:42 (fifteen years ago)

I forgot to include this amazing photo of Haggard and his family:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t6rV3U9ZEHM/TUg3aZ_BjbI/AAAAAAABAJo/4T3aPS9DmFU/s1600/TedHaggardFamily.jpg

― polyphonic, Tuesday, 1 February 2011 18:33 (fifteen years ago)

Awwww!

― Aimless, Tuesday, 1 February 2011 18:34 (fifteen years ago)

When Haggard resigned, Roose reports, he signed a separation agreement, drafted by a board of overseers appointed by the church, which "required him to cut off all contact with members of the church, stay away from the media, perform no ministry-related work, and move his family out of Colorado."

― omar little, Tuesday, 1 February 2011 18:40 (fifteen years ago)

four months pass...

aaaaand... bump

http://gawker.com/5531027/the-virulent-anti+gay-activist-who-brought-a-rentboy-to-europe-updated

― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 5 May 2010 00:41 (1 year ago)

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/US/06/07/sissy.boy.experiment/index.html?iref=NS1

― http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:WhiteAmericanFolks.jpg (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 18:37 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201106/homophobic-men-most-aroused-gay-male-porn&r=

― kkvgz, Tuesday, 21 June 2011 13:25 (fifteen years ago)

one month passes...

and here we go again (not evangelical afaik, just no-on-marriage)

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/08/anti-gay_marriage_state_rep_accused_of_offering_young_male_money_for_sex.php

The young man told The Star that they met, but that he tried to leave after the man told him he was a state lawmaker. He said the lawmaker at first told him he could not leave, grabbed him in the rear, exposed himself to the young man and then later gave him an iPad, BlackBerry cellphone and $100 cash to keep quiet.

― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Friday, 12 August 2011 17:17 (fourteen years ago)

wait, does he just keep iPads and Blackberrys in his car? not a bad haul

― frogbs, Friday, 12 August 2011 17:24 (fourteen years ago)

one month passes...

Meantime, back to being Haggard:

http://gawker.com/5842492/ted-haggard-to-appear-on-celebrity-wife-swap

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 21 September 2011 16:28 (fourteen years ago)

saw Jesus Camp yesterday. ted comes across as a total fake in it. the scene where he insults a kid to his face is unbelievable.

― anorange (abanana), Wednesday, 21 September 2011 16:52 (fourteen years ago)

four months pass...

What not to do:

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/02/arizona_sheriff_rocked_by_accusations_of_alleged_immigrant_ex_boyfriend.php

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 18 February 2012 19:27 (fourteen years ago)

the quote marks in this thread title annoy me

― max, Saturday, 18 February 2012 19:34 (fourteen years ago)

he facricated the quote

― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 February 2012 19:37 (fourteen years ago)

Haha

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 18 February 2012 19:37 (fourteen years ago)

http://media.phoenixnewtimes.com/7645572.28.jpg

― i think you'd be cool to meet. i bet we'd have a lot to talk about (buzza), Saturday, 18 February 2012 19:56 (fourteen years ago)

http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/2012/02/18/20120218live-paul-babeu.html

― Matt Armstrong, Saturday, 18 February 2012 20:09 (fourteen years ago)

live press conference

― Matt Armstrong, Saturday, 18 February 2012 20:09 (fourteen years ago)

Also: Conservative Houston talk show host causes hit and run outside gay bar after attending drag show, identified by witnesses and hit & run victim, police and DA do nothing: http://www.click2houston.com/news/Video-shows-talk-show-host-inside-gay-bar-on-night-of-hit-and-run/-/1735978/8796136/-/70wedp/-/

― A Full Torgo Apparition (Phil D.), Saturday, 18 February 2012 22:17 (fourteen years ago)

weird and troubling. assume that once this becomes a national story, they'll notice that, hey, turns out there were a few witnesses after all!

― Little GTFO (contenderizer), Saturday, 18 February 2012 22:42 (fourteen years ago)

STRONG AND CALIENTE

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Saturday, 18 February 2012 23:41 (fourteen years ago)

Buzzed Body

― ( -- ( .) - ( .) / (am0n), Saturday, 18 February 2012 23:52 (fourteen years ago)

sweet tribal bro

― lag∞n, Saturday, 18 February 2012 23:54 (fourteen years ago)

one year passes...

Hey, ol' Ted just got one-upped, and in the same city even.

http://denver.cbslocal.com/2014/01/27/springs-pastor-arrested-for-kidnapping-robbery-impersonating-police/

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 03:55 (twelve years ago)

one year passes...

Can't believe we're only bumping this once a year. Seems like same old same old by now.

http://www.thegailygrind.com/2015/05/19/hypocrite-anti-gay-pastor-exposed-as-top-who-likes-to-cuddle-on-grindr/

― resulting post (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 20 May 2015 01:42 (eleven years ago)

This Duggar thing almost belongs in here too.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/05/21/josh-duggar-apologizes-resigns-from-family-research-council-amid-molestation-allegations/?wprss=rss_style

― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Friday, 22 May 2015 14:28 (eleven years ago)

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