Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

She has slept with an unidentified rock star

Sweepstake?

She has slept with an unidentified rock star

SHE MUST IDENTIFY HIM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

Please God let it be Freddie Garrity

I hope not, he died four years ago.

I think she's now completely stopped writing a diary and is now writing bad chicklit in which she is the central character

Didn't realise Lucinda Prior Palmer was dead tbh

one of mumford and sons

That Mumford dude is a cunt

so would fit the bill, obv

tbf I didn't mean Lucinda Prior Palmer, can't remember the name of that crazy misogynist bitch with the Chelmsford facelift who used to write for the Mail all the time.

Lynda Lee Potter?

That's the one

Turned down for the role of Nurse Ratched for being too unsympathetic iirc

Certainly not fragrant 70s toff Lucinda Prior-Palmer

Please God let it be Freddie Garrity

I lolled. Sad to hear he died though. Surely a Little Big Time revival is long overdue?

Garrity’s trademark was his habit of leaping up and down during performances.

Aye, they were right easily amused in them days

To be honest I'm laughing about it right now. My seven year old self found him very amusing.

the jumping started off when he was trying to avoid the elephant shit on Blue Peter

Do the Freddie!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGxDS10VAbg

His trademark was the jumping up and down, the Dreamers' trademark was their silly cock-a-leg dance. Top entertainment.

John Noakes: Get down, Freddie Garrity jumping up and down to avoid elephant shit on Blue Peter!

xps
Really kicks off at about 1:04

(xxxp) That's a different dance!

There was no end to their talents.

There was no beginning to them, either.

as jumping goes that was pretty good. Would take me a good half hour to get to that standard.

http://www.inrumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Cellist-Mike-Edwards-tragic-accident-1-570x311.jpg

Things are picking up for the rock star after his recent encounter with Liz Jones

Too soon :-)

(I lolled because I am a bad woman)

I was sad cos I thought it was that tit out of The Alarm.

That was Mike Peters. Mike Edwards is the guy from Jesus Jones.

haven't been following this liz jones business but i wish i had if this is anything to go by

Assuming what this wretched woman writes is true, nobody with an IQ higher than a peanut should feel sorry for her, let alone send her money. It is hard to imagine anyone who has created their own problems more than her.

Daily Mail discovers camwhores

In September 2009, her mailbox was hit by several air rifle pellets (not a shotgun blast as was first thought); it is not known by whom, or if it was intentional, although she claimed that it was because her remarks made the residents seem "cold, dirty, smelly and vicious".

DG, I think I touched on that upthread, how the article was published on the Sunday and on the Monday morning she allegedly had letters in from pensioners worried that she'd spent her £200k salary on holistic tooth whitener for her horses and cashmere throws to mollycoddle the bats in her belfry with and whathaveyou and didn't have enough money to keep her in organic eyebrow dye and quail's eggs.

Pointing out the inconsistencies from week to week is so easy (she's vegan, but she eats eggs and the schedule for her farm - currently up for sale - shows her loft insulated with sheep wool; she hasn't had a holiday for 20+ years but frequently talks about all the overseas trips she and Nirpal had - which she paid for, hence needing to defraud fictional pensioners)

journalists are depressing

except all those lovely journalists who post on ilx obviously

some good news at least
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1309135/Puppy-throwing-girl-Grandmother-saved-dogs-struggling-water.html

lol at the Mail - watch the horrific puppy hurling AGAIN! Now!

Take note Wayne, here's one footballer who's sticking by his WAG: Rio Ferdinand and wife relax on French holiday

By Mailonline Reporter
Last updated at 2:12 PM on 7th September 2010

* Comments (63)
* Add to My Stories

With Wayne Rooney, Ashley Cole and Peter Crouch all having faced allegations of cheating, it's refreshing to see a footballer who's sticking with his wife.

Rio Ferdinand and Rebecca Ellison looked calm and relaxed as they travelled through Nice Airport en route back to England.

........

Despite the fact Rio was himself alleged to have had a fling with a model while on his stag week earlier this year, Rebecca apparently decided to give their marriage another shot.

so it's not like they're trying to set up ferdinand for a fall, like

More like for a merking.

Take note Wayne, here's one footballer who's sticking by his WAG

Shouldn't it be Coleen sticking by Rooney and not the other way round? "Sticking with" doesn't make fidelity sound terribly appealing if they are really meaning he should be sticking with his wife and child, does it?

I also mentioned it on the Premier League thread, but this story equating being a hooker who sells her story to the paper to being murdered (illustrated by some lovely bikini snaps) is just awful.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1309847/Jennifer-Thompson-Amy-Leigh-Barnes-Two-victims-WAG-lifestyle.html

tbf i think a merking involves a flagrant deception of the merkee. i'm guessing rio ferdindand can fuck up his personal life all by himself, should he so desire.

Nah you need a cunt of a shitbag journalist to do the job proper like.

if yr being cynical, which of course would be wrong, you could link the rags' sudden interest in showing what a nice, sensible, white accountant wife rio ferdinand has to the superinjunctions currently obtained by several england players.

I was just thinking I hadn;t heard much about Rio's wife and she didn't seem like yer average WAG

Liz Jones sticks up for other inane babbling idiot while having a dig at people who aren't pig ugly and have the audacity to have children, etc non shocker

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1311217/LIZ-JONES-Kay-Burley-isnt-dim-She-just-doesnt-tanned-legs-doe-eyed-look.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1311228/Taxpayer-funds-council-adventures-Sindia-Lesbianandgayland.html

Just savour that url

She doesn’t fawn. She’s cantankerous, impatient and prickly. And men, even gay ones, hate that.

Liz Jones U R MAD.

x-post

I don't want to click on it and ruin it - I'll stick to some Narnia-esque imaginings.

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Sep/Week3/15734806.jpg