Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

That depends. Can you shut up about it for the next 4-5 days in an even better attempt not to overthink/overdiscuss it which will effectively be jinxing yourSELF?

that is sage advice, not a word more

so gwan who is she?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/18/article-1162554-03F75F34000005DC-698_468x328.jpg

storming her castle on yr white steed

I wish you good luck with her.

oh god i have to go on a date today

protip -- try escalating to aim after a few messages if yr feelin it. its more casual and no more anxiety over writing/waitingfor replies

or just meet them IRL

christ I can't sleep I'm so excited

agreed lewis IRL is the ultimate goal but a lot of people are still too apprehensive about the whole 'internet dating' thing to escalate that quickly. YMMMMMMV

Hm. The guy I met on OKC who is reasonable and nice enough has just finally admitted to me that he is schizophrenic. :/

He seems aware of it and managing it and etc but OH BOY do I not want to go there.

I had a friend in my 20s who went mad and he was a nightmare.

That's a tough one.

I mean, there's a bit part of me that wants to give the lecture about how mental illness is just the same as any other disability and there is no illness that is quite so maligned and creates such negative (and also incorrect) stereotypes and misunderstandings as schizophrenia. And that you should really try to judge your wanting to date someone on *their* *current* behaviour rather than past experiences with other people.

But I know from experience that a lot of people just aren't willing to "go there" as yeah, it kinda does come with the expectation that there may be more work/understanding/adjustment than in the relationships you've been used to.

This just in:
It's really quite sweet that someone wrote to me complementing me on the uniqueness and intelligence (?) of my profile. Though the subject title "OMG, you have a brain" and the dismissal of the other women he's been looking at as "being into pink bunnies and the Jeremy Kyle show" is really somewhat belied by his misspelling of the mathematical term and film "Pye".

Not that I have a problem with mispellings. I misspell things all the time. It's just that slagging off other people for being thick (and a slightly arrogant attitude going with it) combined with something that to a more pedantic person would look, well, more than a bit thick... really NAGL.

I suppose he could just have done it to test my own pedanticness in the hopes that I'll write back correcting him...

Also, I'm quite sure I am probably a horrible person for noticing this. :-(

pretty sure it's pedanticity :)

Good thing I'm not actually a pedant and don't give a shit.

pedantitude

pedance

here's a bit part of me that wants to give the lecture about how mental illness is just the same as any other disability and there is no illness that is quite so maligned and creates such negative (and also incorrect) stereotypes and misunderstandings as schizophrenia. And that you should really try to judge your wanting to date someone on *their* *current* behaviour rather than past experiences with other people.

Yeah this. Look, I'm admiring this guy for fessing up (if its true - I havent met him but no one would admit to this if not true!).

I've had schiz friends before, I couldnt handle them. I suffer from depresson myself - i'm not strong enough to bolster someone else's issues,

That said this guy seems very aware of his illness and lucid and across it, which I find quite ingrigueing, I get to ask him about what its like. But I dont want in on that world :/

Yeah, I've had friends with schizophrenia too. I would totally not blame you for that being a deal-breaker.

No one ever *wants* in on that world. Trust me.

I'm just saying ask the questions, find out what it's like before making the decision.

Sorry, that came out way more snarky than it was intended.

And looking at my "pye guy"s profile, he does actually look quite sweet, really. I'm going to try and make a conversation starter out of it rather than be a pedant out of it and see if he reacts in a "ha ha oops" way or gets butthurt.

I should probably clarify, now I think about it, that I wasnt really into the idea of meeting this guy anyway even before this came up. So I dont feel to conflicted; it can just stay an online friend thing, prob.

Its odd. He doesnt seem ... unwell, you know? The only odd thing thats happened so far is a conversation we had that got very out of hand (tmi wise) that he now claims to have no recall of, so theres that.

Unless its some bored guy yanking my chain and theres nothing wrong with him.

did your crazy alarm go off?

^^ better way of putting it: did he come across as, my friend Patrice puts it, "a guy that's single for a reason"?

No, thats the weird thing. He seems completely normal, if a little dull.

He mentioned a v obscure med tho that is approp for the condition, so it seems legit.

I'm not going to ponder it. I'm not interested in him anyway! I have a date next week with someone else, lol.

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-real-stuff-white-people-like/

i lol'd

RICHARD FUCKING YATES

KIERKE FUCKING GAARD

oi!
― always be cozen (dayo), Thursday, 9 September 2010 07:31

― always be cozen (onimo), Saturday, 28 August 2010 23:19 (1 week ago)

golden fucking girls

lol sorry, I don't hang out in the britishes threads so didn't see it xp

Argh. having my first OKC date this evening. This morning I nearly called the whole thing off because I had a major attack of the "ugh, I'm horrible and old and fat and ugly and everybody knows that a 200 lb manic depressive on a date is the punchline to a joke, not a human being who deserves respect, let alone love..."

But then he messaged again and suggested we go to an all you can eat sushi bar so I had a sudden thought of "OMG, maybe he's one of those rare men who sees a full figured woman and doesn't think 'LOL U fat' so much as 'yay, U not a stick insect, let's go eat lots of nummy food!'"

wait there is all-you-can-eat sushi in london now?

WHY AM I A VEGETARIAN

THEY HAVE GOOD VEGETARIAN OPTIONS!!!!

apparently. Or at least so sayeth my date.

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS MECCA

Thread of excited about sushi.

I wonder which is greater, mr spacecadet's fondness for sushi or mr spacecadet's dislike of London. Oxford only has a Yo! Sushi and a tiny Japanese restaurant which does sushi one evening a week in termtimes only and you usually have to queue outside for a table.

Hope you have a good date, K!

the only racial keywords I follow (re: that link) are that Asian men like Calvin and Hobbes and Tennis
other keywords I have used in my profile before are Thai food (stuff Indians like) and Funny

I like how Indian men have software engineer, consultant, developer, analyst, finance, trading, maths and entrepreneur in their stereotype. These guys are hard workers

But even better is that Pacific Islander men have "I hope they serve beer in hell"

sometimes i wonder if i am a girl who's single for a reason

what reason?

I was meant to go on a date with a girl from this last night and then.......the last minute flake. Internet dating is so abstract. Nothing means anything until you meet the person!

absolutely, and not just in a dating realm - have been struggling with bandmate flakes recently - as long as you have a policy of replying and turning up to things, though, then you'll eventually prosper. flakes aren't worth your time, but you are, if that makes sense

yeah i'm actually pleased in that even tho i quite liked this person it had no real mental effect on me tbh...

people are crazy tbh

yeah I was gonna have lunch with someone a few months ago, someone who was extremely attractive and knew it, but she pulled out with 'illness' 75 minutes beforehand - this wasn't even an internet date (we'd met at the cricket a few days beforehand) but I was more annoyed that I let it get to me than that I was deprived the date - some people just aren't ready to meet anyone with perceived romantic intentions, or they get the last-minute heebie-jeebies - it's sad but it's their right. my policy is that I have to at least try out something before I dismiss it, but then again my policy is that I really don't like evening dates, the hyper-forced meal + well-dressed + courtly conversation rigmarole - way prefer chilling w/ someone during the day, preferably while undertaking shared-interest activities

back to internet flakeness though - I find it best, if there's a connection, to get off OKCupid and onto one's proper email (and hence the real world) asap - having to log onto a dating website to connect with someone can be a little unsettling and dehumanising - or at least it 'dateifies' the correspondence, adds an imperceptible pressure

maybe i should join this thing