Dear Abbott

oh no, nothing in particular. i saw SRL in 86 or so and was v much impressed, especially at the barely controlled outer skirts of the destruction, but have no questions to pass along. only admiration. walking home afterwards i found the streets and sidewalk outside the cordoned area powdered with florescent tube shards, the remains of strays from a pneumatically fired cannon of some sort. the outside inside boundaries not so well patrolled after all. glass dust on parked cars. my pillow smelled of exhaust in the morning.

dear Abbott, do you have a good chicken salad recipe (srsly)

Daer San Te,

if you mean the kind of glop that is put on a "chicken salad sandwich," with the least-wanted scraps of the fowl suspended in a a matrix of mayonnaise, then no. I have my mom's recipe for "Chinese chicken salad," which I like, but is only abstractly Chinese. You may want to ask over at I Love Cooking.

Yours in willingness to share,

Abbott

any good chicken salad recipe should involve at least two of the following:
grapes
paprika
cherry tomato
avocado
bacon
scallions
apple

Dearest Abbott,

Do you know any effective banishing rituals?

Yours most sincerely,
Elmo

Dearest Elmo,

I really value this question! I don't know any, but I did consult a reference book on your behalf. The index of Life Forces: A Contemporary Guide to the Cult and Occult has nothing between Balzac, Honoré de, and Baphomet. Useless! I am sorry that neither it nor I were very helpful. For what it's worth, apparently you shouldn't even be doing them if you are of the Satanist persuasion.

Best of luck in your banishings,

Abbott

Thank you for your research efforts! While I am not a satanist, I find the injunction against banishing interesting.

Dear Abbott,

yay music!

Dear Abbott,
Am I being unreasonable here?
KIDS TODAY WITH THEIR HIPPIN' AND THEIR HOPPIN' AND THEIR CRAZY SHIRTS NOT TUCKED IN
Forks

Dear Abbbottt,

Please come to my BBBQ. The extra 'B' is for 'BYOBB.' (That last extra 'B' is a typo.)

xokjb

p.s. I'm not having a BB(B)Q. This was just a way to say 1. I didn't know mods can't see images (odd!) and 2. you rock harder than Nazareth.

Dear forks,

You should have confiscated that blunt. Just kidding, it would only have lead to further trouble. I think. I know most of my teenage fucking around was preemptively curbed by very angry, very loud adults who functioned as superegos for people too young to have them. Sorry you are now that superego! I don't think you were being unreasonable, though.

Yours,

Abbott

Dear KJB,

:D
Think I'm gonna do some grillin' tonight, thanks to youB (the B is for "extra B"). Though it will probably just be grillin' some corns on the cob. Or corn on the cobs. Some corn, at any rate. You kick ass.

Fondly,

Abbott

that actually makes me feel a bit better; part of my angst is "OMG I am shouty get-off-my-lawn guy how did this happen"

It helped that this one particular guy was always eating cottage cheese, and if he came out and yelled at us, it meant I had to look at his gross cottage cheese teeth & tongue.

will remember to chug dairy products before doing this again in the future

why hello there, abbott,

this was posted on a couple other boards but i feel any mormon specific lolz should be brought directly to you attention. http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=127185813 i hope you have a fine day,

from arby's

Dear arby's,

I believe this person's bishop would say this is "not very uplifting," esp. since all I can picture is him jerking it harder w/every click of the 'erase layer' tool. Also: looollllllll.

Thankfully,

Abbott

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/abbott_hotel.jpg

http://www.listphile.com/Fortune_500_Logos/Abbott_Laboratories/image/102_abbott.jpg

dear abbott

http://www.texasescapes.com/CentralTexasTownsNorth/AbbottTexas/AbbottTxGroceryStore0707BG.jpg

There exists of me somewhere a photo in front of this place, but I don't have it.

http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/4796/abfo.jpg

well you ARE a person with much variety ...

The back part of the store says ABBOTT'S BEN FRANKLIN
like I own the dude

ABBOTT IS BEN FRANKLIN

Nah, not jowly enough.

I'll try harder guys ;_;

it's all about the Abbotts

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9d/Diablefaucheur.jpg/445px-Diablefaucheur.jpg

I can't find an appropriate thread for this so I'll put this here. It's a "Mowing-Devil" from 1678. "The pamphlet tells of a farmer who, refusing to pay the price demanded by a labourer to mow his field, swore that he would rather that the Devil mowed it instead. According to the pamphlet, that night his field appeared to be in flame. The next morning, the field was found to be perfectly mowed - unnaturally perfect, in fact." (c/o Wikipedia)

This is very, very funny to me.

Perhaps he shovld mow thee moffe growing vpon the skull of a man

BTW, that is amazingly funny.

begs the question really: daerest abbbottt, would you dare summon a mowing-devil??

hew'd as if it had been all of a Flame, but next Morning
appear'd fo neatly Mow'd by the Devil, or foe Infernal Spi
rite, that Mortal Man was able to fo the like

The devil is all like "Heh, heh, then I WILL mow your field...and do a really nice job."

Dearest haitch,

I don't know if I could handle a lawn Mow'd after such a fashion as to be unnaturally perfect. But I would love to see a Mowing-Devil.

Love,

Occcultttbbbottt

http://www.choiceful.com/prod_image/64794_x.jpg

(Also: be careful with GISs of "Power Devil")

I love how goofy he looks. I think he would look like this if seen from the front:

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/8149/mowingdevil.jpg

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/images/uploads/11-14-flymo.jpg

^^ surely mower of choice for the mowing-devil - it hovers, through use of the black arts

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff210/AccipiterF1/Venture%20Bros/venture_orpheus01.jpg

Daerest Abbott: just now I helped a student who was from Moscow, Idaho, and as you are an expert on things from Idaho I must ask if you can describe what the place is like. (Perhaps also prompted by the Yakov thread.)

in moscow idaho, potato eats oh god i cant even

Dear Ned,

The key thing to know about Moscow, ID, is it's pronounced "moss coh," not "moss cow" like Moscow, Russia. That's how to sound like an Idaho insider. It's up in the panhandle. I never visited the city itself, but the Viceroy lived there his freshman year of college – I'll get him on thread to discuss it later tonight!

Esto Perpetually,
Abbott

I think Moscow, Russia should also be pronounced Moss coh (in English, at least..in Russian it's a bit different, I think, like Mosk-va?)

was gonna say moscow as in a bovine fungal problem isn't how i'd say it, but no guarantees that i'm right on that

For the record, I would rather the devil rake my leaves than have to do it myself. DEVIL??

moffe growing vpon the skull of a cowe

I forgot all about Mowing Devil until I opened this thread. He is the best!

Dddearrr Abbbottt, how many b's and t's do you think you're going to addd to your username before it is perfect?

StanMMM