As my granny used to say.....

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Yeah, I've always called a bag of chips a 'poke of chips', and 'pokey hat' was common too.

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh yes, my Grandma used to call the kitchen the scullery too!

And she called the dining room the 'middle kitchen'.

― C J (C J), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh yes! Botanist granny used to refer to a Dram as a kind of measurement. Especially sherry or whiskey would always be served in a "wee dram".

― Please Snap StressTwig (kate), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

We say 'five past' or 'quarter to' as well. What's the american equivilant? 'Quarter of?'

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

I know many people who had no idea what a landing was until I explained it.
ask these lunatics what they refer to it as. then shoot them.

Obv don't shoot'em in the head cause there's nothing vital there.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

i love this one: my friends granny (who died last week, RIP Margaret) said "shut eye with a bang" to mean a shock. "you'll get a shut eye with a bang when you see what she's wearing!".

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=%22shut+eye+with+a+bang%22&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

She was a WITCH?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

More expressions. Such as: "It rolls like a square ball."

Expressions have been as rare as teeth in a chicken here.

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

Botanist Granny always used to say "I'm going to discipline and control my mind" to mean she was going to take a nap, but I think she coined that one herself after being caught sleeping at college.

― Please Snap StressTwig (kate), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

i love this one: my friends granny (who died last week, RIP Margaret) said "shut eye with a bang" to mean a shock. "you'll get a shut eye with a bang when you see what she's wearing!".

that's awesome!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

vagina - flange

― haru h, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

fanacapan.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

These peeps call the landing the hall. They don't differentiate between different parts of it.

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Nearly-supercentenarian granny is the only person I knew who used "jiffy" for "very short time." As in "Do you want some breakfast? I could fix you an egg in a jiffy."

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

The "quarter to" or "quarter past" is used here in the U.S. - but we don't say "I'll see you at half five then!" We would say five thirty, because we are brutish and didactic and are ruled by digital time.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

my grandad called Jimmy Hendrix a 'gutter snipe' when he saw him playing on tv.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

I use "jiffy" all the time, but then I'm the kind of person who would, I guess.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

A piece of jam - a jam sandwich.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

We here in Ireland say 'press' all the time to mean 'cupboard'. The hot press is the airing cupboard, and it lives on the landing.
My granny had a fantastic array of sayings, from the fairly common 'she's tuppence ha'penny looking down on tuppence' to the grim (and still used by me) 'the dogs won't lick your blood'. She used to say 'woe betide you' a lot as well. Since she was a completely unthreatening woman, these phrases don't quite sound as gothic to me as they do to others.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:34 (twenty years ago)

My grandmother used to call gay men "funny fellas".

― elmo (allocryptic), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

My grandad has been known to ask "who are these ginks?" when Top of the Pops comes on.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 28 November 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

And Nanna's exclamation of choice is "gor strike!"

― Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 28 November 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

My favorite of my gran's was referring to something dark as being 'black as the inside of a cow.'

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

I'm not quite sure how to spell this phonetically, but my grandmother used to call the cupboard under the stairs the "kutch" (
to rhyme with 'butch')

"Cooch"????

― Dan (Where You Stick The Cucumbers) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

You say "boootch"? Are you French?

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:15 (twenty years ago)

What if I am?

― Dan (Racist) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

Well, it would explain the antisemitism.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

I'm always sad that nobody except my gran says 'spend a penny' any more.

My step-dad always says 'it takes a man not a shirt button' whenever anyone mock-threatens him.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

"We say 'five past' or 'quarter to' as well. What's the american equivilant? 'Quarter of?'"

Sorry i just realised i didnt phrase this very well . Shes a british granny and instead of saying twenty five past five, would say five and twenty past five

I say jiffy

― Shin, Monday, 28 November 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

Well, it would explain the antisemitism.

Touche.

― Dan (Cross Thread ROFFLES) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

scots, particularly those from the renfrewshire area: anybody ever heard "stoner" (pronounced "stonner") used to mean a hard-on?

it will very much affect a headline in next week's her4ld magazine.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 28 November 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

yep, stonner was the school word for it.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

What words did your grandparents use that raise a few eyebrows when you use them yourself?

Ni99er, p@ki, etc etc... Not that I actually use them myself, obviously, but I suspect eyebrows would be raised if I did...

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 28 November 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

jed: with two "n"s, though?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 28 November 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

Little Hulton, Salford, Leigh, Wigan, all your rough old grizzled wrinklers who live in terraced houses with ginnells (sp?) and mongrels and a chippy on every corner. Well they say: chimbly (chimney) and skellington (skeleton) and mard-arse (sukly person). And loads and loads of others, I'll ask about and get some more.

Here's another: es't = 'That is'. ie. es't proper reet, lad = 'That is very good, young man'.

cob on = a sulky manner

― Affectian (Affectian), Monday, 28 November 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

"I don't understand why those blacks don't just leave South Africa. After all, the whites were there first."

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 28 November 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

My grandfather calls any lummoxy guy a "honyock". Turns out it was an early 20th-century slur against Hungarian immigrants, few of whom my grandfather would have encountered in Dust Bowl New Mexico. Glad to see he's helping preserve our vanishing ethnic-insult heritage.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Monday, 28 November 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

It's stauner, isn't it, as in a thing that stauns (stands) up?

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 28 November 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

Oh man, my mom's full of 'em.

"I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse between two bread vans."

...although, most of them are just "standard" Irish/Lancashire turns of phrase that sound CRAZY and out of place in Minnesota.

― giboyeux (skowly), Monday, 28 November 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

My mother: Stone-cold-dead-in-the-market, as in "Get down here for dinner or it'll be stone-cold-dead-in-the-market!!". Also being a picky eater results in leaving a "sassy plate", which could get your hide tanned in my house....

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 28 November 2005 22:34 (twenty years ago)

I've just consulted with the mister and he concurs with the popular opinion (i.e. not mine) that it is indeed stonner. Though he does understand my confusion. He is also worried that I am discussing slang terms for boy things with a newspaper type on the internet.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 28 November 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

I quite often say things that I think are fairly common parlance, and get odd looks off people. Does anyone outside of Inverness refer to bin men as scaffies?

I love all the Caithness/Doric ones that my mum comes out with which I have no idea how to spell. FOr example, the word for a dog is a bowf (maybe bouf, I'm not sure) but our dog Sandy was always referred to as "the bowf", "bowfy" or "Sandy-bowf". This is not weird to people in the North of Scotland, but elsewhere can cause much hilarity. My mum also has a fab word for feeling a bit weak and queasy, which is pronounced fee-oun (rhyming with noun) which I use a lot and have never heard anyone else say.

A piece of jam - a jam sandwich.

See, up here that's a piece AND jam. Unless you are Oor Wullie, in which case it's a jeely piece.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 28 November 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

my grandma used to call the couch the "davenport."

― kelsey (kelstarry), Monday, 28 November 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

Frankly the Scots own this thread. Unless the rest of us just start making shit up.

Er, my Gran used to call teeth 'rackles'. "Rub yer rackles or the English'll get yeh", she used to say.

True story.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 28 November 2005 23:03 (twenty years ago)

Fat as a butcher's dog.

― giboyeux (skowly), Monday, 28 November 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Me stomach thinks me throat's ben cut.

― giboyeux (skowly), Monday, 28 November 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Other ones I've never heard anyone but my mother (and, by default, me) say:

bowg = stomach (that's a Caithness one, definitely)
keeker = black eye
bauchle = a scabby old shoe (or a skanky person by extension)
away in a dwam = daydreaming (OK, I have heard that off other people, but not that many)

I can't even think of things that might be odd because I just use words I grew up listening to and it never occurred to me that they might be odd. I only found out a couple of weeks ago that scaffy wasn't in common usage down here (focus group = three blokes in the pub).

Xpost = Fit as a butcher's dog, innit?

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 28 November 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

Wrong as two left boots.

Face as long as a wet weekend.

xp: my mom says "fat."

― giboyeux (skowly), Monday, 28 November 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

"A messer" - someone who's messy

"Crotchety" - someone who's angry and upset: "Don't get crotchety". I've never heard this used since, but it's pretty great!

― S- (sgh), Monday, 28 November 2005 23:31 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 325 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

My Gran (Paisley born) had a brilliant reserve of bastardized French terms, I really wish I had written them all down before she passed, I only remember the more obvious ones - Stank, Ashet, Jigot.

I think my fave saying of her's was 'What's fur ye, will no go by ye'

― Maresn3st, Monday, 28 February 2022 20:02 (four years ago)

Now you're talking my language... literally.

― Meet the Irish Queer Archive Poet In Residence (Tom D.), Monday, 28 February 2022 20:06 (four years ago)

I don't know if this is a Paisley/Renfrew thing or not, but I also liked her punctuation of 'says I' (start) and 'ah sais' (end) in a sentence.

With the added potential confusion of 'aye' and "I', I remember her saying to me once 'says I, aye, ah sais'

― Maresn3st, Monday, 28 February 2022 20:11 (four years ago)

What are "stank, ashet, jigot"?
(sounds like a law firm...)

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Monday, 28 February 2022 20:21 (four years ago)

Overshoes meaning boots

― adam t. (abanana), Monday, 28 February 2022 20:38 (four years ago)

Stank as in very smelly in the past tense?

Ashet is a cooking dish, and specifically one you make/buy a steak pie in and is from assiette.

Jigot is spelled gigot, like the French, because it's a centre cut lamb leg chop.

― Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Monday, 28 February 2022 20:49 (four years ago)

Stank is a drain, but I think it's also used to describe stagnant water.

― Maresn3st, Monday, 28 February 2022 21:05 (four years ago)

That's me learnt.

― Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Monday, 28 February 2022 21:12 (four years ago)

Ta (as my granny used to say...)

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Monday, 28 February 2022 21:15 (four years ago)

XP or Telt :)

― Maresn3st, Monday, 28 February 2022 21:16 (four years ago)

oh yeah as in “that’s that doon the stank”

― ok what the fuck is happening in the uk (rain) (wins), Monday, 28 February 2022 21:17 (four years ago)

Stank is a drain, from Old French, estanc for a pond or lake

Ashet, I know from ashet pie, is a large dish, from the French for plate, assiette.

Gigot (not Jigot) is a leg of mutton or lamb, taken directly from the French

― Meet the Irish Queer Archive Poet In Residence (Tom D.), Monday, 28 February 2022 22:54 (four years ago)

To this day, I call those Vicks inhaler sticks "mentholatum," as that is how my grandfather (1917-1993) always referred to them.

― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 1 March 2022 00:39 (four years ago)

seven months pass...

Beelin' = angry, furious

"Ah'm beelin' Scotland were in Pot 2 in the Euro draw and still ended up gettin' the same sides they aye get".

Aye = always
[img=https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg]https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg[/img]

― Fronted by a bearded Phil Collins (Tom D.), Sunday, 9 October 2022 11:58 (three years ago)

Oops...

[img=https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg]https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg[/img]

― Fronted by a bearded Phil Collins (Tom D.), Sunday, 9 October 2022 11:58 (three years ago)

Fuck it, it's refusing to work.

― Fronted by a bearded Phil Collins (Tom D.), Sunday, 9 October 2022 11:59 (three years ago)

'Aye...funny man, d'y think his heid zips up the back...?' (told to a young me, in reference to my Grandad)

― MaresNest, Sunday, 9 October 2022 12:06 (three years ago)

“if it’s me on bongos and Mark E Smith, then it’s The Fall”

― assert (matttkkkk), Monday, 10 October 2022 12:47 (three years ago)

https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg

― Mark G, Tuesday, 11 October 2022 08:31 (three years ago)

My old nan was from Wakefield. She'd mostly lost her accent by the end of her life but never sounded so Yorkshire as when she used her catchphrase: 's/he's short of nowt he's got'.

― Shard-borne Beatles with their drowsy hums (Chinaski), Saturday, 15 October 2022 18:46 (three years ago)

my grandma was kind of a self hating cockney who took elocution lessons and alcohol would change her accent and manner entirely (in a good and fun way most of the time)

― your original display name is still visible (Left), Saturday, 15 October 2022 18:55 (three years ago)

seven months pass...

keeker = black eye

Which, of course, is derived from one of my favourite Scots words.

https://www.dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/keek_v1_n1

― Maggot Bairn (Tom D.), Sunday, 4 June 2023 15:15 (three years ago)

five months pass...

I bet ye were up tae high doh!
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 16:53 (seventeen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Couthy continuity announcer on Channel 4 has just used this phrase.

― Tom D has a right to defend himself (Tom D.), Thursday, 30 November 2023 08:01 (two years ago)

fellas I’ve had a good run but I think I’ve finally had the radish

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 30 November 2023 09:22 (two years ago)

I heard a Northern Irishman use 'up tae high do' a few years ago, interesting that it had legs, and I always wondered if it was related to 'do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do'

― MaresNest, Thursday, 30 November 2023 10:08 (two years ago)

four months pass...

My sister just sent a message to say she's got some terrible cleg bites on her leg.

cleg: another term for horsefly

― Not waving but droning (Tom D.), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 14:23 (two years ago)

Mercy, that's one I haven't heard in yonks

― Maresn3st, Wednesday, 24 April 2024 15:04 (two years ago)

one year passes...

"In the name of the Wee Man!"

― Schlub 7 (Tom D.), Friday, 27 February 2026 14:39 (three months ago)

mid-80s was playing something like Husker Du loud on the family stereo, and my Grandma ducked her head in the door and said "Please turn that Victrola down". Still weirds me out that such temporal overlap existed.

― bendy, Friday, 27 February 2026 16:29 (three months ago)

i’m imagining a scratchy 78 of like Al Jolson doing “Books About UFOs”

― Mollusk, Virginia (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 27 February 2026 16:48 (three months ago)

My dad in the late 70's wondered aloud if Jerry Lee Lewis was the "hot new rock combo" after "Great Balls of Fire" got played on the AM station the radio had been tuned to. Probably just trying to make conversation, but still!

― henry s, Friday, 27 February 2026 19:07 (three months ago)

My own granny was Scottish and had a catch phrase that went something like "hold me fish n' chips or I'll poke yer eyes out!" I always wondered if that was from some old radio program.

― henry s, Friday, 27 February 2026 19:11 (three months ago)

two months pass...

Walking around in ridiculous heat in London earlier my sister complained her feet were gowpin'.

https://dsl.ac.uk/our-publications/scots-word-of-the-week/gowpin/

― Tom D, focussed with getting on with the job (Tom D.), Monday, 25 May 2026 15:55 (two weeks ago)

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