You can't get your ski boots off. EVER.
― Three Word Username, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:55 (10 minutes ago)
shudder
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 08:10 (fifteen years ago)
sitting in aeroplane, you see a crack develop on wing
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:15 (fifteen years ago)
sitting in toilet, you see a crack develop on wang
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:16 (fifteen years ago)
:O
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:16 (fifteen years ago)
Time traveller stops your parents from ever meeting.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:19 (fifteen years ago)
acoleuthic has some good ones. this should be turned into a poll!
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:22 (fifteen years ago)
Santa Claus does not exist.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:24 (fifteen years ago)
whoops, should read:
Santa Claus does not exist, it's really your parents/guardian.
Santa Claus exists. you've just backed over him.
― now breathing manually (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:26 (fifteen years ago)
Can't concentrate for longer than it takes to post zing.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:29 (fifteen years ago)
complete power-failure in a crowded metro station
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 08:43 (fifteen years ago)
nah everyone would just get out their mobiles
― ledge, Monday, 19 July 2010 08:46 (fifteen years ago)
No mouth, must scream
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:38 (fifteen years ago)
No anus, must excrete
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:39 (fifteen years ago)
Asshole sewn shut, keep being fed and fed and fed
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:39 (fifteen years ago)
End segment of Human Centipede, no anus.
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:40 (fifteen years ago)
Forced by drug to associate everything you love with illness
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:42 (fifteen years ago)
(I'm not really inventing much here, though.)
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:43 (fifteen years ago)
Werner Herzog warns: never listen to tape of parents fucking.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:48 (fifteen years ago)
all movies are lost bar the matrix sequels
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:48 (fifteen years ago)
Someone steals your scenario here, makes blockbuster. You get $0.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:50 (fifteen years ago)
they make a movie about your life, cast rodney dangerfield in lead role.
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:54 (fifteen years ago)
He's dead.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:54 (fifteen years ago)
is that better or worse iyo?
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 09:57 (fifteen years ago)
ILX The Movie! Brad Pitt plays Tuomas, Danny DeVito you.
Xposts: lol
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 09:57 (fifteen years ago)
Even Peter Travers called the performance "stiff and lifeless".
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:00 (fifteen years ago)
redundancy packages include mansions, limos- they're keeping you on
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 10:14 (fifteen years ago)
Someone invents a horribly tacky product and names it (YourFirstName).
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:41 (fifteen years ago)
E.g. "Here's a brochure for our new Kenan line of sex toys for pets"
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:44 (fifteen years ago)
Oh that was low.
― kenan, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:50 (fifteen years ago)
Low but terrifying!
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:56 (fifteen years ago)
Sorry though.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 10:57 (fifteen years ago)
Your sense of humor fails spectacularly on ILX, offending someone.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 11:05 (fifteen years ago)
:-(
after 10 years and countless posts, kenan draws the line!
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:06 (fifteen years ago)
super gonzo close-up porn orgy pulls back to reveal your mom
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:12 (fifteen years ago)
Lying in bed, hearing a door in your home opening.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:23 (fifteen years ago)
that just happened here OMG oh wait there are two other people in the house already
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:24 (fifteen years ago)
Mother, staff exhausted. Bloody bawling newborns keep emerging.
― ὑστέρησις (Sanpaku), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:27 (fifteen years ago)
worlds average penis size increases by 5 inches; yours doesn't
― dyao, Monday, 19 July 2010 11:40 (fifteen years ago)
ROW playin catch-up imo
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 11:45 (fifteen years ago)
Your laptop and phone cameras are always on, transmitting
― atoms breaking heart (a passing spacecadet), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:08 (fifteen years ago)
Reveal paranoia on ILX scenario thread, your post kills thread
― atoms breaking heart (a passing spacecadet), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:11 (fifteen years ago)
Coworker turns to read your screen during ILX post composition
― atoms breaking heart (a passing spacecadet), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:13 (fifteen years ago)
Sitting on the beach, ant crawls inside your urethra.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:29 (fifteen years ago)
your colon is rerouted to your urethra
― dyao, Monday, 19 July 2010 12:30 (fifteen years ago)
midway through sex, your penis starts hemorrhaging huge bloody globs
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 12:52 (fifteen years ago)
Meaningless existence. Oh shit.
― emil.y, Monday, 19 July 2010 13:03 (fifteen years ago)
Cockroach crawling behind your eyeball.
― SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, 19 July 2010 13:20 (fifteen years ago)
while jogging your heart suddenly starts to beat extremely fast
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 14:03 (fifteen years ago)