penis falls off - is picked up by naked rosie o'donnell
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:07 (fifteen years ago)
giving speech, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:11 (fifteen years ago)
on first date, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:12 (fifteen years ago)
just chillin, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:13 (fifteen years ago)
you realize the funhouse mirror is a regular mirror, p.i.p.
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:13 (fifteen years ago)
everything you touch explodes
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:15 (fifteen years ago)
Get person's number, get too excited. Come across clingy.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)
trapped in a room on mushrooms with japanese eel dog
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)
awesome beef jerky you forgot about, take bite, see maggots
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:17 (fifteen years ago)
every time your child opens his mouth you hear static
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:18 (fifteen years ago)
all your poops come back to find you
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:20 (fifteen years ago)
they want to be bff
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:22 (fifteen years ago)
Hire local superstar. He's taking his talents to South Beach.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:23 (fifteen years ago)
locked out 2 hrs before your flight
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:25 (fifteen years ago)
christmas present has died by the time you open it
wake up naked and in line at 7-11
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:26 (fifteen years ago)
trapped in room of scrotal sacs
― the polka-dot jersey shore (haitch), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:27 (fifteen years ago)
You had requested a slurpee before you passed out.
xpost
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:28 (fifteen years ago)
Al: Bad news. Sam: Who am I? :Al: Raoul Moat.
― Darramouss, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:30 (fifteen years ago)
husband just wants four walls and adobe slabs for you.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:33 (fifteen years ago)
"Man I found this creepy old doll on the beach!"
― Darramouss, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:34 (fifteen years ago)
"Dude that's Maddie McCann."
2 users online: you and tuomas. popular poster is SB'd
― the burn & shipley (k3vin k.), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:38 (fifteen years ago)
In Soviet Russia. Party finds you.
― Three Word Username, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:39 (fifteen years ago)
Awake stapled to the ceiling.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:45 (fifteen years ago)
first sexy time with soul mate, remove her pants, AnCo tattoo
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:48 (fifteen years ago)
notice friends all look at you funny, you're insane
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:53 (fifteen years ago)
You're at work, tired from posting terrifying scenarios.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 06:53 (fifteen years ago)
the Bible turns out to be true
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:25 (fifteen years ago)
your balls are alive and hate each other
XD
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:27 (fifteen years ago)
you wake up a cockroach
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:30 (fifteen years ago)
you wake up as leif garret
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:32 (fifteen years ago)
fingers in your food
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:34 (fifteen years ago)
it becomes impossible to find meaning or joy in life
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:35 (fifteen years ago)
you get framed for killing your wife
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:36 (fifteen years ago)
your belly is open, you are paralysed, you hear rats
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:37 (fifteen years ago)
you wake up as a crayon in a kindergarten classroom
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:38 (fifteen years ago)
your field of vision narrows by 2% every day
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:39 (fifteen years ago)
shoved head first into a vat of cockroaches, naked
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:41 (fifteen years ago)
all the world leaders have been planning a big war
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:41 (fifteen years ago)
you die and meet god, god is a parrot head
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:42 (fifteen years ago)
gravity ceases to exist
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:44 (fifteen years ago)
you murder your father and marry your mother
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:45 (fifteen years ago)
you are now breathing manually
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:46 (fifteen years ago)
leprosy epidemic
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:47 (fifteen years ago)
upside-down until you die
xp second one, duh
"There are other intelligent life forms out there but the gulfs are too vast to ever be crossed" is one of the most depressing scenarios imo.
― ledge, Sunday, 18 July 2010 23:31 (Yesterday)
Most depressing of all: "There are other intelligent life forms out there, they have the technology to cross the vast gulfs of space, BUT they aren't interested n us at all and leave us alone."
Actually I pinched that from Arthur C. Clarke: "why have we not already received visitors from older civilisations? (...) (2) We are so unintelligent that no-one is interested in visiting us."
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:49 (fifteen years ago)
Banquet celebrating LJ's book "Cooking with Broken Glass and Wasps"
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:50 (fifteen years ago)
LOL I read that as "Basquiat celebrating LJ's book 'Cooking with Broken Glass and Wasps'"
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:52 (fifteen years ago)