forced to lick 1000 peaches
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:53 (thirteen years ago) link
MC Hammer pants filled with ferrets and breadcrumbs
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:54 (thirteen years ago) link
poop sneeze
forced to move back in with parents
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:55 (thirteen years ago) link
your limbs suddenly start retracting
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:56 (thirteen years ago) link
forced to move back in with homeless parents.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:57 (thirteen years ago) link
Girl says no pre-marital sex (post-marital sex lookin bleak, too)
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:59 (thirteen years ago) link
New Scott Walker album. 52 min of raw-meat as percussion.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:01 (thirteen years ago) link
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..........
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:02 (thirteen years ago) link
Ride bike to work. It never rains in Southern California.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:03 (thirteen years ago) link
penis falls off and is picked up by a posessive librarian
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:04 (thirteen years ago) link
you awake handcuffed to a naked rosie o'donnell
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:05 (thirteen years ago) link
penis falls off - is picked up by naked rosie o'donnell
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:07 (thirteen years ago) link
giving speech, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:11 (thirteen years ago) link
on first date, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:12 (thirteen years ago) link
just chillin, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:13 (thirteen years ago) link
you realize the funhouse mirror is a regular mirror, p.i.p.
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:13 (thirteen years ago) link
everything you touch explodes
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:15 (thirteen years ago) link
Get person's number, get too excited. Come across clingy.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:16 (thirteen years ago) link
trapped in a room on mushrooms with japanese eel dog
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:16 (thirteen years ago) link
awesome beef jerky you forgot about, take bite, see maggots
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:17 (thirteen years ago) link
every time your child opens his mouth you hear static
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:18 (thirteen years ago) link
all your poops come back to find you
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:20 (thirteen years ago) link
they want to be bff
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:22 (thirteen years ago) link
Hire local superstar. He's taking his talents to South Beach.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:23 (thirteen years ago) link
locked out 2 hrs before your flight
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:25 (thirteen years ago) link
christmas present has died by the time you open it
wake up naked and in line at 7-11
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:26 (thirteen years ago) link
trapped in room of scrotal sacs
― the polka-dot jersey shore (haitch), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:27 (thirteen years ago) link
You had requested a slurpee before you passed out.
xpost
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:28 (thirteen years ago) link
Al: Bad news. Sam: Who am I? :Al: Raoul Moat.
― Darramouss, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:30 (thirteen years ago) link
husband just wants four walls and adobe slabs for you.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:33 (thirteen years ago) link
"Man I found this creepy old doll on the beach!"
― Darramouss, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:34 (thirteen years ago) link
"Dude that's Maddie McCann."
2 users online: you and tuomas. popular poster is SB'd
― the burn & shipley (k3vin k.), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:38 (thirteen years ago) link
In Soviet Russia. Party finds you.
― Three Word Username, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:39 (thirteen years ago) link
Awake stapled to the ceiling.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:45 (thirteen years ago) link
first sexy time with soul mate, remove her pants, AnCo tattoo
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:48 (thirteen years ago) link
notice friends all look at you funny, you're insane
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:53 (thirteen years ago) link
You're at work, tired from posting terrifying scenarios.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 06:53 (thirteen years ago) link
the Bible turns out to be true
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:25 (thirteen years ago) link
your balls are alive and hate each other
XD
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:27 (thirteen years ago) link
you wake up a cockroach
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:30 (thirteen years ago) link
you wake up as leif garret
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:32 (thirteen years ago) link
fingers in your food
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:34 (thirteen years ago) link
it becomes impossible to find meaning or joy in life
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:35 (thirteen years ago) link
you get framed for killing your wife
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:36 (thirteen years ago) link
your belly is open, you are paralysed, you hear rats
― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Monday, 19 July 2010 07:37 (thirteen years ago) link
you wake up as a crayon in a kindergarten classroom
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:38 (thirteen years ago) link