your balls are alive and hate each other
― ultimate worrier (goole), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:32 (fifteen years ago)
lol
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:33 (fifteen years ago)
Facebook search a girl -- now her name is your status.
― Cunga, Sunday, July 18, 2010 10:21 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark
almost did this with my ex-gf
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:42 (fifteen years ago)
whine to ILX. Hope boss don't read the Guardian.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:46 (fifteen years ago)
Let friend use computer. Explain terms found in Google cache.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:47 (fifteen years ago)
Variation: Consciousness trapped in the coffin for eternity.
good one
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:47 (fifteen years ago)
stupid thing you did gets picked up by every paper
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:48 (fifteen years ago)
your fingers always smell like doritos
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:49 (fifteen years ago)
hair starts growing from your eyeballs
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:52 (fifteen years ago)
forced to lick 1000 peaches
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:53 (fifteen years ago)
MC Hammer pants filled with ferrets and breadcrumbs
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:54 (fifteen years ago)
poop sneeze
forced to move back in with parents
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:55 (fifteen years ago)
your limbs suddenly start retracting
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:56 (fifteen years ago)
forced to move back in with homeless parents.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:57 (fifteen years ago)
Girl says no pre-marital sex (post-marital sex lookin bleak, too)
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:59 (fifteen years ago)
New Scott Walker album. 52 min of raw-meat as percussion.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:01 (fifteen years ago)
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..........
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:02 (fifteen years ago)
Ride bike to work. It never rains in Southern California.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:03 (fifteen years ago)
penis falls off and is picked up by a posessive librarian
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:04 (fifteen years ago)
you awake handcuffed to a naked rosie o'donnell
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:05 (fifteen years ago)
penis falls off - is picked up by naked rosie o'donnell
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:07 (fifteen years ago)
giving speech, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:11 (fifteen years ago)
on first date, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:12 (fifteen years ago)
just chillin, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:13 (fifteen years ago)
you realize the funhouse mirror is a regular mirror, p.i.p.
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:13 (fifteen years ago)
everything you touch explodes
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:15 (fifteen years ago)
Get person's number, get too excited. Come across clingy.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)
trapped in a room on mushrooms with japanese eel dog
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)
awesome beef jerky you forgot about, take bite, see maggots
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:17 (fifteen years ago)
every time your child opens his mouth you hear static
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:18 (fifteen years ago)
all your poops come back to find you
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:20 (fifteen years ago)
they want to be bff
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:22 (fifteen years ago)
Hire local superstar. He's taking his talents to South Beach.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:23 (fifteen years ago)
locked out 2 hrs before your flight
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:25 (fifteen years ago)
christmas present has died by the time you open it
wake up naked and in line at 7-11
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:26 (fifteen years ago)
trapped in room of scrotal sacs
― the polka-dot jersey shore (haitch), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:27 (fifteen years ago)
You had requested a slurpee before you passed out.
xpost
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:28 (fifteen years ago)
Al: Bad news. Sam: Who am I? :Al: Raoul Moat.
― Darramouss, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:30 (fifteen years ago)
husband just wants four walls and adobe slabs for you.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:33 (fifteen years ago)
"Man I found this creepy old doll on the beach!"
― Darramouss, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:34 (fifteen years ago)
"Dude that's Maddie McCann."
2 users online: you and tuomas. popular poster is SB'd
― the burn & shipley (k3vin k.), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:38 (fifteen years ago)
In Soviet Russia. Party finds you.
― Three Word Username, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:39 (fifteen years ago)
Awake stapled to the ceiling.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:45 (fifteen years ago)
first sexy time with soul mate, remove her pants, AnCo tattoo
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:48 (fifteen years ago)
notice friends all look at you funny, you're insane
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:53 (fifteen years ago)
You're at work, tired from posting terrifying scenarios.
― StanM, Monday, 19 July 2010 06:53 (fifteen years ago)
the Bible turns out to be true
― latebloomer, Monday, 19 July 2010 07:25 (fifteen years ago)